Early this morning, Jenni's helper-friend, Tiffannie, called to say that Jenni wanted a date with Joshua. They were going to be in town, so they made plans to meet for lunch. She said that they were going to a movie after, but Jenni didn't mention anything about him going. She said, "they are funny about their time together and about their relationship."
They certainly don't do things the way "normal" couples do them...and that's okay. And they don't act or REact the way "normal" couples do...and that's okay, too.
They are like two large toddlers out in the world.
I don't mean that in a bad way. They just have to have supervision, even tho they don't think they need any help. Scratch that. They know they need help. They just don't like that they need help.
They want to be able to drive and work and be married and have a home of their own and cook and go out and just BE...you know, all the stuff we take for granted. And, some of those things, they can do. They can work...altho you know it's not like what you and I might do...and they won't make the money that you and I can. Most people with Down Syndrome, they don't drive. In earlier years, we thought it might be possible for Joshua....we didn't want to set limits on him when we just didn't know. I have no doubt that he could memorize the drivers-ed manual, and probably eventually pass the written test. However, the driving part is a whole, 'nother thing. We thought we'd try Joshua out on the golf-cart at Jim's parent's house.
UMMMM. Hello, tree.
And they might can be married, and they can cook some and might can live somewhere that's not at home with us...but they still have to be checked on. Frequently.
Back to Joshua and Jenni...they've been "dating" for over 10 years. They are sweet and innocent in how they approach their relationship. Unless you count that time that Jenni put Joshua in the closet to have "7 minutes of Heaven," and I had not seen the movie (13 Going On 30), and had NO CLUE what they were talking about. And unless you count the time when they got in trouble at camp for smooching. Or the time at our house when they sneaked into every bedroom and shut the door so they could be alone. I have no idea what they would do in there if we just left them alone. Knowing Jenni...she would probably fall asleep. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW so we remind them that "we don't entertain in our bedrooms" and invite them downstairs to watch a movie.
They are frustrated with us at times, and feel like we are treating them like babies. They are kind and introspective. They are caring with each other, but also very jealous. They keep track of who does what with who. When Jenni posts something on Facebook, Joshua will say, "she only got 3 likes." It's a big thing to get "likes." If Joshua doesn't get enough on something he posts, he will delete it. They are wise and immature. Joshua is very deep spiritually. His prayer life puts us all to shame. He talks to God, and I believe him when he says God is speaking to his heart.
They are also a little manipulative. They can be childish. They have ALL THE FEELINGS and have no clue what to do with them. And honestly, I don't know what to say or do in these situations. Because...MY FIRST RODEO.
Today, I took Joshua to meet up with Jenni and her helper-friend at the restaurant. They were wary...eyeing each other like they'd never met. Seriously? Just give each other a hug. I asked Jenni if she was excited about Therapeutic Recreation starting back up on Tuesday. She shrugged and said, "ehhh...I GUESS." Well, I know GOOD AND WELL that she is excited about it, and so is Joshua, so I said, "well, I bet if you talk to your mom, she would let you stay home." I thought her eyes were gonna pop out of her head.
When I got in the car, Holly said, "real mature, MOM." I'm just sayin'. I came to play, sister.
Jenni ended up inviting him to go to the move afterward. I asked what they were going to see and she said, "Paddington Bear." I thought there would be NO WAY Joshua would agree to that, but I gave him the option of going...or not. He thought for a minute and said, "I want to go."
We got the re-cap when he got home.
They ordered lunch...Jenni and Tiffannie shared an entree, but Joshua ordered his own. He ordered water to drink. When they brought Joshua his burger, he cut it in half...ate one half and put the other half aside to take home. This is classic Joshua. Eats half of his meal when we go out...saves the other half to bring home, and then will fight anyone who tries to eat his leftovers from the frig the next day. Ha.
When they finished with lunch, he said they had about 20 minutes before their movie started, so Tiffannie took them to the dollar store that is in the same mall. She and Jenni got movie snacks. Joshua said he didn't want anything BECAUSE THEY HAD JUST EATEN. Law. Tiffannie told him to get a drink, anyway. I guess she didn't want him getting thirsty in the movie...and then they MAY OR MAY NOT have smuggled said snacks and drinks into the movie theater.
Joshua LOVED the movie. He said that the "father bear" was the voice of Dumbledore from Harry Potter, and that everyone in the movie had a "Harry Potter accent," because it all took place in London, where Harry Potter lived.
He had a great time with Jenni today. So thankful they were able to get together today, and thankful for Tiffannie for hanging out with them. Joshua and Jenni see couples everywhere they look...especially in their own family. So thankful that they can spend time with each other, and enjoy the benefits of companionship.
I pray that God will continue to show us the way in this crazy, crazy path He has chosen for us.
"And your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left." Isaiah 30:21