Monday, August 28, 2017

Moving Day for #4 (Jr Year)

And just like that...he's gone. 

We moved #4 back to school on Sunday. 

He helped with our church's "Dorm Storm" (moving freshmen into their dorms) on Sunday morning...and on Sunday afternoon, we moved him back into his dorm at OBU. 

And I'm using the word "moved" very lightly. 

This year was different, in several ways, and my heart is sad. 

And, in true "boy" fashion, the child wasn't even willing to throw me a bone...to help me through it all. 

He brought everything he said he needed...in two plastic tubs. 

TWO. 

I'm not talking two tubs of CLOTHES...I'm talking two tubs of everything. 

He brought nothing for the walls, no rugs, no pictures (not even one of me...shocker). No decorative items for his desk or shelves...you know, things that might make his room look a little homier. 

He has the same suite-mates for the 3rd year. They voted to only have 1 frig and 1 microwave, because of space...so he didn't bring his. Which, that is pretty smart...just sayin'. He didn't bring the black-out curtains...even tho we have them at home. 

His bed? He did not bring the mattress pad that makes the bed more comfy. He brought a fitted sheet...a FITTED sheet...and a pillow. ONE pillow. No top sheet, no blanket, no comforter. He put his sleeping bag on top of the sheet, like he was at camp. 

I told him that his room was decorated with sadness. 

Because here's the thing: we have ALLTHESTUFF at home from his first two years. WHY WON'T HE USE IT? 

As far as clothes go, he brought maybe 8 shirts, total. And zero hangers, even tho he has approximately 3000 hangers in his closet at home. 

What gives, man? 

My heart was breaking a little, because this day came too soon. 

Take notice of this, moms of littles (and moms of boys): there will come a day, for most of you, when your kids are gonna leave. That's normal, and to be expected. 

But here's the kicker: they.will.not.be.sad.about.it.at.all. 

And there will come a day, if you have boys, when they really don't need or want you to make things cute and comfy for them...because they'd be fine sleeping in a hammock...in a tree...wearing the same clothes forever, like on Swiss Family Robinson. 

My role as a mom has changed with each child, and in each season of life, as my kids have gotten older. It has to, and it needs to. 

And yesterday was a prime example. 

Because really? He could've moved in by himself, in about 10 minutes. Which, I know you think that sounds like a GOOD thing, and it is, it's just hard...hard for mommy. 

Last child and all. 

I may or may not have cried all the way home...and I was driving.

"He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:21

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

I'm Still Alive

Well, hello there!

[Knock, knock?]

Anyone still there?

I want to say that I still love blogging. I do. Please don't measure that by the last few months. Ha!

Summer has kicked my rear-end.

Not necessarily in a bad way.

Our youngest son spent most of the summer working at Kamp. He loved it. And we missed him terribly.

And, I guess with age has come the inability to concentrate on more than one thing at a time...because he was constantly on my mind and in my prayers...and I just didn't have the mental energy to sit down and write about it on here.

It just hit me, at some point this summer, that this is our youngest child...and we have maybe one more summer with him under our roof, under our influence. Eeep!

I can't even deal.

God is telling me to hold things loosely...and I am telling HIM that I want to hold on tight.

Oh, I'm not telling him that with my words...I would never do that. That would be so disrespectful...like saying I don't trust that He knows best...that His ways AREN'T better than my ways. I would never do that.

Or WOULD I?

Did your Momma ever tell you, "actions speak louder than words?"

Yep.

So, lots of learning going on around here. God is stretching my heart, and it's uncomfortable, and it hurts. Lots of trusting Him without knowing my next step...when I can't look ahead to be sure that the road is nice and safe.

I started this blog to document our lives with Joshua, to share my faith, to show how God uses humor in my life every day...and to leave a type of journal for my kids and grand-kids to read one day.

You know...if they're really bored.

I just know that my Mom died young, and I would've LOVED to have had some insight into her heart...what she was thinking, what made her laugh, what struggles she had, how awesome of a kid I was...

Wait...WHAT?

And I try to remember that I write for an audience of ONE...and if I don't use my words to point to Jesus, then I'm just wasting my time.

Summer is coming to an end. Our college/grad school kids all start back in the next couple of weeks. Joshua's program starts back soon as well. Things will be a little more consistent and "normal..." whatever that means.

It's a good time to reassess...to regroup, refocus, plan. Hope to be back on here a lot more often! :)

"I will praise you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done. I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High." Psalm 9: 1-2