Thursday, March 5, 2015

Potty Yoga (yep...you read that right)

I'm laughing at myself because the title of my last post was "Pancakes and Birth 'Defects,'" and, in the post, I never even wrote about the pancakes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Apparently, Tuesday was National Pancake Day. IHOP was giving away free pancakes all day, if you made a donation to a charity. People were tweeting about lines out-the-DOOR at IHOP. I decided to just fix pancakes for dinner at home...and it was great! Someone (again, on Twitter) said they googled the top-secret IHOP pancake recipe...so I did the same. I usually use the recipe on the back of the Pioneer or Bisquick box, but this time, I used the IHOP recipe.

And Jim used his gluten free cardboard box recipe.

I'm not a big pancake person, because I don't like syrup...but I had a bite of one...you know...to test it out. I thought the IHOP pancakes were really good. My fake IHOP pancakes didn't "rise up" like the ones at the restaurant, tho. Jim told me that I needed to make them thicker and they would. I told him that I FOLLOWED THE TOP-SECRET IHOP RECIPE EXACTLY, thank you very much. Clark said there wasn't that big of a difference in taste between the IHOP recipe and the box recipe...so if the box recipe was easier, I should use those.

Well, there's 10 minutes of my life I won't get back.

Anyway, Jim fixed sausage, bacon and eggs. I made pancakes and just a few biscuits. It was such a great night.

Okay. Back to this post.

I learn so much from Joshua on a daily basis...but this really took the cake.

I am usually on top of things, but I don't know...I think my brains fell out the back door this week. Not only did I not have cash to give Joshua for his lunch, I didn't remember until we were half-way there that they were doing Yoga. Joshua always wears gym clothes on Yoga days at his Therapeutic Recreation, and then brings a bag with clothes to change into after that. I completely forgot.

He was fine. He is limber enough and his clothes are loose enough that he can do Yoga moves and it not be a big deal. He kept saying, "I just forgot." I said, "No, Joshua, YOU didn't forget...I forgot." He said, "Yeah...I was confused." I said, "Joshua, this is not your fault at all, but it's not a big deal. I am the one who forgot...you didn't even know!"

After couple or TEN times of going over this point, he finally let it go. He said, "I didn't even think we were having Yoga today. I was busy getting ready...having my quiet time, shaving, doing potty Yoga, getting dressed..."

Wait. WHAT?

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

I've written before about how Joshua is ALL about being physically fit. Or, as he calls it, "fiscally" fit.

Which isn't bad, either.

ANYWAY, for a long time, Joshua had a bo-flex machine. Or, as he called it, his "BLOW-flex." We sold it when we moved, because we just didn't have room for it in this house. He has free weights up in his room, and he uses those exercise bands every day. He is all about a schedule, so he has certain times of every day that he works out different parts of his body. He is so disciplined. I've walked in on him many times when he's watching TV. He'll be standing up in front of his TV, using those exercise bands or lifting weights at the same time.

So I said, "POTTY YOGA? What is that?"

Joshua went into a lonnnng and knowledgeable explanation of potty Yoga. He also included a visual demonstration...which was both insightful and more than a little distracting as I DROVE 70 MPH ON THE INTERSTATE.

Because there was the side-to-side reach. Yep.

And the spin movement. Sure to work.

And the reach over...allll the way over. The mental image of this one alone...has scarred me for life.

Joshua said that anyone can be "fiscally" fit, and that there's always time for exercise. He said there is NO EXCUSE for not exercising.

Basically, he said, "if you can sit on a toilet, you can exercise."

Well, there's a sentence I never thought I would type."

I'm gonna try to film him demonstrating the Potty Yoga (hopefully while he's sitting on a normal chair with his clothes ON), and I'll post it on my Facebook (Marty Logan Garland) if I do.

"For you have been bought with a high price, therefore glorify God in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:20

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Pancakes and Birth "Defects"

Ya know...there are just some days when I wish everyone could be a witness for what goes in in my life. I promise, I don't make this stuff up.

I mean, most of my days are what people would consider "mundane," or repetitive...not too exciting. And, hey, I get that. Nothing exciting about doing laundry or making dinner. Nothing exciting about talking about the bad weather. Nothing exciting about answering some of the same questions over and over and over.

But Joshua teaches me something nearly every day. Most of the time, he teaches me about God and His ways, and how very tender He is to us. Some of the time, parenting Joshua shows me how much I lack. God, please make us worthy of this calling, because half the time we wonder what in the world we are even doing. And all of the time, parenting Joshua shows me how very much I need God's wisdom, discernment and grace.

What Joshua taught me today? It cracked me UP. Just wait, because I'm 99.9% sure it's something you've never heard of or thought about before. There's your tease for tomorrow.

On Monday, we basically stayed close to home. Joshua loves Mondays, because he says he can "sleep in." This is a HUGE JOKE, because he gets up every day at the crack-of-dawn. In fact, it's something I say to him every Sunday night as he heads upstairs to bed. I'll say, "don't get up at the crack of dawn." And he will look at me with "the face" and say, "on a MONday? Why would I?"

But, Tuesday morning was a different story. He is always up at the crack-of-dawn when he is going to Therapeutic Recreation, because he can't wait to see all the FRIENDS. We got all ready to go. I remembered that his group was going out for lunch. Due to poor planning on my part (and the fact that I only got the weekly schedule late on Monday afternoon), I only had $5 in cash, so I was going to need to run by the bank before we left. Unless...

I asked, "Joshua, do you have any money?" He said, "I have an emergency $20 in my wallet." Even tho this didn't qualify as an emergency...SCORE! I just don't keep cash. I told him I would pay him back this afternoon.

I know. Proud parent moment.

On the way into Little Rock, Joshua talked and talked and talked...which I will share about tomorrow. But before he started into THAT, tho, he was reading his Facebook news-feed...out-loud...in the car. He told me that it was World Birth Defects Day.

Seriously?

I know that every syndrome, challenge, club, disease, and support group has a "day" now. They have ribbons and buttons and t-shirts to raise support and awareness about their cause. I think this is so good, because it gives people a voice, and support, and it fights the isolation that so many people often feel. If I had a ribbon for everything that affected just our family and friends, I would be covered from head to toe.

We've all got "ish-ahs," am I right?

I think we, as a society, go overboard trying to be all PC about everything. I mean, we can't see a pink lady and call her a pink lady. She knows she's pink...we know she's pink...e'erbody knows she's pink...but if we refer to her as pink, we will be labeled a racist and signed up for diversity training classes. If we describe someone as "tall and thin," we will be accused of bullying, and all parties involved will be ordered into counseling.

Sheesh.

But can we all just agree that the word "defect" should not ever be used when referring to a person?

You can have a "defective" part on your lawnmower. You can have a "defective" car battery. You can even have a "defective" heart valve.

There are no "defective" people. No ma'am.

I just think there's got to be a better way to say things, and someone way smarter and more eloquent than me needs to figure that one out. Because no one wants to be labeled or defined by any challenges they may have.

So, I asked Joshua, "what do you think that means?" And he said, "I don't know...but I'm glad I never had it!"

That's right, baby...fearfully and wonderfully made.

"I will praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Little Rock Marathon 2015 (Part 3-Celebrate!)

We had talked this weekend about trying to meet up with Jim's parents at some point. Logan said that it had been a long time since he had gotten to see them. We made a plan to meet up with them for lunch after the race.

Faith said that her parents would like to come, too, because they were DYING to meet my in-laws.

My day got better instantly.

Apparently, Faith (and Clark) had filled them in on stories about Jim's parents and all the crazy things they do and say. They had also told them how sweet and sincere and generous they were, and they just wanted to thank them for being so nice to Faith.

I was so excited for them to meet.

You know, my family (and some of my friends) think that I have a tendency to exaggerate or "embellish" the stories I tell about my in-laws, but I've told them a million times that that's just not true. My own husband once said that I had a flair for the dramatic. (WHAT?) I always love for people to meet my in-laws in person, so they can put a name to a face...and kind of see what I'm talking about.

It's even better if they can come with us to see them at their home, because OH MY WORD.

So I couldn't wait for this lunch!

As soon as we got in the car, Joshua started stripping out of his clothes. I told him he could, remember? He is a little Houdini, because he never got out of his seat-belt! Jim and I were in the front, Logan and Morgan were in the middle seats, and Joshua and Clark were in the back. I just had to tell Morgan, "don't look back there," because Joshua was a man on a mission. Those layers he hates so much? They were coming OFF! And when he finally got himself all put together, he let out a big "ahhhhh." He was so happy!

Excuse me for trying to keep you warm!

And Jim? His lips were blue.

No, seriously...BLUE. I commented on them and he kind of blew me off...like I was o-v-e-r-r-e-a-c-t-i-n-g or something. But then several other people in our group commented on them and he went to the bathroom to look for himself. My mother-in-law asked Holly...our "almost" nurse: "what is that a sign of?" Holly said, "oh...just HYPOTHERMIA."

EEEK!

We had all of our family there for lunch, Jim's parents, and Faith's parents. At the race, Faith's sister and her boyfriend showed up, so we invited them, too. Once we got to the restaurant, Morgan said that her parents might come, and we said, "COME ON!" And then Morgan's brother and sister also came.

It's about to get real up in here.

If you're counting, that's 18 people...for lunch...at a Logan's Roadhouse in Bryant, Arkansas...on a Sunday...after church.

NO PROBLEM, RIGHT?

Ha!

It actually was NO problem for the people at Logan's Roadhouse. Once they got over the shock of 18 people coming in on a Sunday at lunch, they quickly set up a lonnnnnnnnnnng table for all of us, and served us all efficiently.

Like with any large group of people who didn't know each other...it took everyone a while to warm up to the people around them...but they did.

Is it bad to wish that your father-in-law might put on a show like only he could...just to prove that your stories are true?

Instead, he was a perfect gentlemen. RATS.

I looked all the way down the table, and my heart was so full. All of these people...all connected to us by one of our children. God is truly "enlarging our territory," and Jim and I could not feel more thankful and blessed. I reallllly wanted to take a picture of everyone. I asked Holly if she thought it would be okay to ask the waitress to stand at the end of the table and get a picture...and she said, "no." I asked, "is that lame?" She said, "yes."

I didn't ask the waitress and I didn't get a picture...and I regret it.

One of the kids asked, "are you so, so happy?" and I said, "YES!" Because they know that I just love for everyone to be together and get along.

And so if there was ever a sign that I am turning into my mother-in-law...there you have it.

And I couldn't be more proud.

And also...before we could leave the parking lot, Jim's mother had to drive their truck over to where we were parked...and we proceeded to do the unloading-of-the-groceries dance right there in the parking lot. IN THE RAIN.

My mother-in-law passed Logan a 12 pack of Charmin toilet paper. She calls it, "toilet tish-ah." She has a "thing" about toilet tish-ya. She wants us to have plenty of it at all times. In fact, just this week, I had to open another package of Charmin...and realized that I only had 48 rolls in reserve in our master bathroom. That is unheard of for us. We usually have nearly 100 extra rolls, just in this one bathroom.

I TOLD YOU SHE HAS A THING ABOUT TOILET TISH-AH.

Anyway, she reached in the back of her truck, and tried to pass Logan another 12 pack. He laughed and said, "no, Mammaw...that's okay. This is plenty. We are just two people."

And my mother-in-law said, "take two...it might snow."

"See how good and pleasant it is when brothers and sisters live together in harmony." Psalm 133:1

Monday, March 2, 2015

Little Rock Marathon 2015 (Part 2)

It was our daughter-in-law, Morgan, who first started all of this "marathon talk." She said that she had always wanted to run a Half-Marathon, and that this year seemed like the perfect time. She and Logan have had a lot of changes in their lives since last May: Logan graduated from college, they got married, they moved TWICE after that, she's still in school, he got a new job...and they are navigating everything involved in the newly married life.

When she told me she was thinking about running the Little Rock Half-Marathon, I was excited for her. There's not much Morgan can't do, athletically speaking. She is very strong, physically and mentally. She is driven and goal-oriented. I knew she had what it was going to take to realize this goal. I told her that I would ask Jim...I was pretty sure he would want to run it with her. He has really gotten into running, and it just seemed like something he would want to do. Morgan seemed happy that she might have a buddy in this endeavor.

Well.

I mentioned it to Jim and he was, like, "NO. Nope. I have NO DESIRE to run a half-marathon. None at all. I just want to get faster at running a 10k."

When Clark's girlfriend, Faith, heard about it from Morgan...she was ALL IN. She and Morgan began talking and texting, and figuring out training plans. This was back in September. And, as I figured, it wasn't about 2 seconds until Jim was on board, too.

MEN. Why does everything have to be their idea?

All 3 of them have been working hard and training really hard. There have been some minor injuries, lots of sore muscles...and the bad weather we've had lately has hampered training for my outdoor-running people.

The day of the race, we were up early. Jim was nervous. Checking and re-checking everything., changing what he had planned on wearing at the last minute, and wondering about everything he was eating and drinking. Over at Faith's house...she was the same way.

Contrast that to Morgan...who quickly got ready, and then sat at our kitchen table and quietly ate her breakfast. She was as cool as a cucumber.

The weather, tho? Was as cool as a popsicle. In Antartica. On the top of a glacier. In the rain.

We met up with Faith's parents...and then Morgan's parents came and we all stood there and talked. We took "before" pictures and gave hugs and last-minute encouragement. The runners lined up and the race started. The three families all split up and we each went our own way. My family walked around until we found a diner...and we ordered coffee and sat there until we warmed up. We got out the map and made a plan to try and see the runners at different stops along the way. We have the "find my phone" app on our phones, and so we were able to track Morgan. She was FLYING (Jim had left his phone in the car, and Faith's phone wasn't cooperating)! We were able to see the race route and see places where we might get to see them along the way.

We did a LOT of walking...which, if you remember, Joshua does not like a lot of walking.

He also does not like cold...rain...and cold rain.

We were able to see Morgan one time along the race route, and we saw Faith twice. We never did see Jim.

At one of our first stops, we were standing on a corner as a bunch of the runners came by. All of a sudden, Logan yells, "there's HAYDEN!" and took off running toward the runners. It was one of his best friends from High School. Logan didn't know Hayden would be running in the race. And even tho spectators were supposed to stay on the sidelines, and even tho the rules stated that if someone came out and ran without an official racing bib, they would be considered a "bandit"...my Logan went running out to see his friend, and ran about 1/4 of a mile with him.

It was the sweetest thing ever...first, because I know how much he misses his friend. And second, because he was wearing Morgan's backpack that was stuffed full of the things she might need. When I saw him running up to his friend with that backpack on, it just instantly took me back to when he was a little boy...wearing a little backpack...running up to his little friends at school. It's hard to believe he's a 23 year old married man.

Sniff

Gulp.

"Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don't remember getting older. When did they?"

SORRY.

Joshua kept saying, " I sure am worried about Morgan. I hope she's okay. I'm not too worried about Dad and Faith...I'm mainly worried about Morgan."

He has a serious crush on his sister-in-law.

She was the strongest, fastest one of the bunch. Did not need to worry about her, but there's no stopping Joshua!

Morgan finished first with a time of about 2:08. Her goal was 2:20, so she was impressed! Jim finished around 2:28. His goal was 2:20, so he was not as impressed with that. I'm not for sure of Faith's final time, but it was under 3 hours, and that was her goal: to finish in under 3 hours.

Isn't funny how different people react to circumstances?

Morgan said that, along the race route, there were stations where the runners could get water and Gatorade. She said that she got a sip or two of water two different times. She said that she also grabbed pretzels, an orange and a donut hole. If they were passing it out, she was grabbing it. She must have a cast-iron stomach! Jim was too afraid to eat anything, and Faith brought pretzels in her spi-belt. She said that all of the food on the route was about to make her sick. She asked Morgan, "did you see where they were passing out tater tots? GROSS!" Morgan said, "WHERE? Because I totally would've eaten some tater tots if I had seen them!"

Isn't it funny how everyone has a different perspective on things?

I was just so thankful that everyone finished with good times. Everyone finished strong. No one required medical care after the race. Hopefully, the rest of us won't catch pneumonia or anything from being out in that weather!

"My feet have closely followed His steps; I have kept to His way without turning aside." Job 23:11

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Little Rock Marathon 2015! (Part 1)

We'd been anticipating this day for a WHILE. It was the Little Rock Marathon. Jim, Morgan-the-daughter-in-law, and Faith, Clark's girlfriend, have been training for the HALF since October. It was the first Half-Marathon for each of them.

We had to get up at dark thirty, in order for everyone to be ready to leave at 6:15. Jim actually got up at 4:30, and couldn't go back to sleep. I must remember to thank him for that.

Also, it was 33 degrees.

Also, it was raining.

The main thing I was worried about, as a spectator, was Joshua. Cold weather is not his friend. Rain is not his friend. And navigating him through crowded streets in the cold, rain...in a bunch of layers...wearing boots...could be very tricky.

And if Joshua is miserable, it will not be good for him...or any of us.

So I told him that I wanted him to wear long underwear pants, and a long underwear shirt. He just looked at me with this certain face he uses that means, "what?" and "are you kidding me?" and "that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard" and "I am slow-blinking you right now." Kind of a face like Garfield the cat would make. Kind of like the emoji face with the straight line eyes and the straight line smile.

Speaking of underwear...SIDE NOTE: someone looked for my blog by using the words: "joshua tay underwear blog." WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? This is not an underwear blog. I have barely even talked about underwear on here, except for the time when my boys left underwear on the kitchen table.

Oh, and the time my mother-in-law told me she went to Wal-Mart for 4 things: a new phone, panties, rat poison...and cookies.

Anyway, back to my story...I told  that I wanted him to wear a shirt over the long underwear top, and jeans over the bottoms. And I gave him a pair of ski socks to wear with his MUCK boots. I told him I wanted him to bring his BIG coat, a scarf, a hat, and gloves. I got the look again.

Joshua hates layers.

I told him that if he wanted to bring some different shoes, and his other coat...when the race was over and we got to the car, he could take the layers off and change shoes. He seemed good with that.

I was really proud of him. It wasn't a comfortable day for him at all...but he did GREAT and kept a pretty good attitude! We walked a LOT, and he was cold a LOT.

I just decided that I will write more about the race tomorrow, because I am soooooo tired (and I didn't even RUN!)...and I got so cold and I just can't get warm!

"Therefore since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." Hebrews 12:1