We spent Friday afternoon and over-night with my in-laws. And I LOVE my in-laws, I do. They are just verrrrrry...different.
I've said it before, but it's like a real-life "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode...every.single.time.
We weren't there too long before we headed to dinner. First, tho, my father-in-law had to "bathe." He had been out fishing. He walked in the house carrying a bucket. He walked over to where Clark and Faith were sitting, and showed them what was inside. Faith said, "wow!" I glanced over that way...it was full of dead fish.
I love fish. I just prefer to see them either in the water swimming around...OR...fried up on my plate.
Not really a fan of the in-between stage.
We heard my father-in-law sing a rousing rendition of "How Great Thou Art" from the bathroom. Now that they have gotten the monstrosity of a bathtub, it's hard to get him out of the bathroom!
I can't remember if I've written about it before, but my father-in-law ordered one of those walk-in bathtubs like you see advertised on TV. And it is the tub of all tubs. It seriously cost more than their swimming pool! Apparently it has different colored lights in it, which I think the salesman must've used to mesmerize my father-in-law. I don't even know. I just want to stay as far away from that thing as I can.
It has a "seat" where you sit down and "bathe." It is so gross. I have told my children that I FORBID any of my future grandchildren to sit on that seat in the light-up bathtub. Like, EVER.
The finishing touch in the bathroom is the giant hole in the ceiling. Apparently, the upstairs bathroom had a leak, and it made one of those wet marks on the ceiling that eventually turned brownish. So my father-in-law cut a hole in the ceiling and WRAPPED A TOWEL AROUND THE PIPE. It still leaks...but the water is not damaging the ceiling anymore, because...that part of the ceiling? Well...it isn't there.
Not that I can say too much. The toilet in our master bathroom at our home has been leaking...like, the water hose thing that goes to the tank. So Jim...he can pretty much fix anything...eventually...and until he has the time to really tear into it and see what's going on, he put ONE OF MY TUPPERWARE CONTAINERS on the floor to catch the water. And the water is clean...ish. Or it looks like it is clean. And by that I mean it's not used. And my husband, being the King of efficiency in our home, did not want to waste (no pun intended) that water. I saw him carefully carrying that Tupperware container full of water...through the house and out the back door...and pouring it on the plants on our back patio. I kid you not.
So, my father-in-law finally came out, all dressed and ready to go. He looked at Faith, Clark's girlfriend, and said, "would you mind going in there and gettin' my teeth and swooshing them around in the water a little...and bringing them to me?" And Faith, being the pleaser that she is, said, "ooooooooooooooookay...yes, sir." And he said, "naw...I'm just kidding,"
We got into my mother-in-law's van, but not after a lengthy conversation about which car to take. And then we headed out of the neighborhood. My father-in-law was in the front passenger seat, and my mother-in-law was in the seat right behind him. The whole trip they were talking to each other about everything they saw:
Him: "that right there looks reeeeeeal fishy."
Her: "they've got something going on out there."
Him: "sho' nuff."
Her: "when I went by last night, there was a blue truck there and now there's a white one."
Him: "hmmm...ruffians and no-gooders."
Her: "they always back their trucks in."
Him: "there's something fishy going on out there."
Her: "and look there at that fence...why did they put that there?"
Him: "WELL, JACK, I DON'T KNOW."
It's all the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black.
Because my mother-in-law's sister and her husband, Aunt June and Uncle Kenneth...they have a lot just up the hill from my in-law's house. The plan was for them to build a house on it one day, so they would be close to my in-laws.
It's at this point that I need to share that they already lived this plan. They owned the lot across the street from my in-laws, and built a house on it. They lived in it for a little while, and then decided they didn't like it or didn't want to live there...I don't know...and they moved into town...to a town-house type of place.
And then they bought this lot, but they have yet to build.
And Jim's Uncle Kenneth? He bought a shed, and hauled it out to that lot and set it up. He hooked up power to it, and bought a mini-frig and a tv...and put a chair inside. He's also got a porch swing sitting out in the middle of the lot, and he is buying gravel to make a driveway.
AND THERE'S NO HOUSE.
Just the shed.
And he goes out there and "hangs around" by himself.
My mother-in-law says he LOVES going out there.
BUT THERE'S STILL NO HOUSE.
I don't know. There's something fishy going on out there...
"Trust in the Lord and do good..." Psalm 37:3
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