Sunday, June 22, 2014

A Road Trip, A Stent, Feeding Fish...and A Hamburger

First of all, let me say that my father-in-law is FINE. You'll want to know that before you read today's post.

Secondly, I love my in-laws and I love writing about them. They are simple, family-lovin', God-believin', hard-workin', country folk. They are also the funniest, most eccentric, most generous, most...different two people I have ever met! (I'm sure there would be a lot about ME that they would want people to know as well!)

As Joshua would say: Imnottalkingaboutthatrightnow.

There is a LOT about them that I don't feel I can write about. At least not until they go on to Gloryland, and we hope that's not for a long, LONNNG time. I want to protect their privacy, to some extent, and plus...some of it YOU.JUST.WOULD.NOT.BELIEVE! (wink!)

Today, we had planned on going up to see our Logan and Morgan after church...taking them our washer and dryer, and a bunch of other stuff we're giving them to help make their first home more comfortable. We planned on going to SS and church, eating a quick lunch...and loading up and heading out by 1:30 at the latest. It's a 2 1/2 hour drive to L/M's apartment, so we wanted to get there and get back as quickly and efficiently as possible.

After church...as we were leaving the sanctuary...I pulled my phone out of my purse to check it. I figured that Logan would be texting to ask what time we were coming. Instead, I had about 9 text messages...ALL from members of Jim's family.

My heart sank.

That's never good, is it?

Turns out that Jim's dad had woken up at 3 a.m. with pain down his left arm, and had been at the ER since 4 a.m. He'd had some tests run and was being monitored...and he was waiting on the results of the dye test. He wasn't worried, tho. In fact, several of the text messages WERE FROM HIM.

Yes, my 78 year old father-in-law was texting his every move to all of us...from his hospital bed.

As my Grandma Ellen would say: "well, wonders never cease!"

And we had JUST had dinner with him last night! Jim's brother wanted to know what we fed his Dad to make him have this pain. I told him we gave him a lot of red meat, cheese...cake.

And an onion tower.

KIDDING.

Anyway, the dye test showed an 85% blockage in one artery, and a 65% blockage in the other. My father-in-law was skeptical. He said, "they CLAIMED it was 85% blocked..."

Yeah...because that would be highly unlikely. EXCEPT NOT.

My in-laws are not exactly the picture of healthy living. They work hard and sleep when they can. My father-in-law is constantly outside. If he's not fishing, he's piddling in the yard or in his shop. They eat eggs every morning for breakfast, along with ham, sausage or bacon. Sometimes they eat all 3...in one meal. They eat butter. They eat gravy. My mother-in-law makes a thing called "red-eye gravy," which is the drippings left from after you fry the ham or sausage...mixed with coffee. So, yeah...basically greasy coffee gravy.

They consume more coffee than any human-being should.

They eat mostly fried food. They eat late nearly every night. They like potatoes, gravy and bread. They love any and all kinds of dessert.

They get very little exercise thanks to a little thing called a MULE. No, not a real mule, but one of those golf-carty-utility vehicles people use to haul things. My in-laws have two, and they ride them to check the mail, to check on each other, to go down to the boathouse...because actually walking is SO over-rated (on a serious note, they both now move a little slower, and the Mules probably ARE a good thing for them to have and use). They laugh because they will pass each other in their Mules...and they'll just wave. AT EACH OTHER. As they drive by. IN THEIR YARD.

Anyway, the doctor put a stent in the artery that was 85% blocked and left the other one alone. My father-in-law is recovering and wants to go home, but they are keeping him overnight. My mother-in-law left to run home and "feed the dogs and the fish." You need to know that the dogs they feed are indeed their own dogs...but the fish? THEY ARE FISH IN THE LAKE.

About once a week, my father-in-law goes to what he calls "The Day Old Bread Store." He buys 100 loaves of bread (not even kidding) for less than $10...and feeds them to the fish off his dock, and around his fishing holes all over the lake.

So, my mother-in-law left her ailing husband in the hospital...to go home and feed the fish in the lake.

IN THE LAKE.

And my father-in-law, who was texting everyone known to man about all of his procedures, asked my mother-in-law to bring him a phone charger when she came back to the hospital, because his phone battery was getting low.

She said she would, but (wait for it) she "wanted to get a hamburger first."

In the end, Jim decided that we needed to stick with our plans, and drive up to where Logan and Morgan live. So, 6 of us drove two vehicles 2 1/2 hours to where they live. We unloaded boxes and gifts...and a washer and dryer. Jim and Logan went to Lowe's for something they needed, and then they hooked it all up. And then 6 of us drove two vehicles 2 1/2 hours home.

I drove my vehicle the whole way there and back. I had Aaron and Holly in the back seat, and Joshua sat up front with me. He talked non-stop to me for 2 1/2 hours there AND back. Holly tried to distract him with a magazine, and he flipped through it like he was speed-reading. He said he didn't want to get car sick.

I can respeck dat.

We are so thankful to make it home safely. We are thankful that my father-in-law is doing well.

And we are thankful that my mother-in-law got her hamburger.

"See now that I alone am He; there is no God but me..." Deuteronomy 32:39

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