Saturday, June 21, 2014

The In-Laws, The Onion Towers and The (non) Allergic Reactions!

Well, today has been fun.

It started out with sleeping in and a late breakfast and piddling around the house. I was trying to get all of the laundry done, because Lowe's was supposed to deliver our new washing machine and dryer this afternoon. After I got done with the two loads, Jim unhooked everything, and moved our old w/d out of the laundry room.

This is the part I was dreading...because Jim is a clean freak. I had vaccumed in there this morning. I went under the w/d and in-between them. There wasn't a speck of dust...THAT YOU COULD SEE.

Of course, I knew it would be messy once the machines were moved and the room was empty. And I was right. But Katie-bar-the-door, Jim went nuts about how I should periodically move the washer and dryer, and vacuum under them BECAUSE IT IS A FIRE HAZARD.

In his defense, Jim comes from a long line of o-ver-re-act-ers.

And while I believe that it probably IS a fire hazard, and I probably SHOULD move the washer and dryer ALL BY MYSELF with a space of AT THE MOST 2 feet of wiggle room in front of the w/d...just sayin'. Probably not gonna happen.

What am I, Mr. Clean?

Anyway, we made plans to meet Jim's parents at a restaurant half-way between our town and theirs. They are loaning us their pick-up, so we can take our old w/d set to Logan and Morgan tomorrow.

I love my in-laws, but I've written about them before. It's always a treat to be with them...especially at a restaurant. They both do NOT like to wait, which is why we met them at straight up 5 p.m.

AND, they called us while we were on our way to ask how many people were with us and HOW MUCH LONGER we were going to be.

Seriously? It was 4:53 pm, and we were 5 minutes away.

OH MY WORD.

So, our group of 6 gets there and they are (thankfully) already seated. There are two empty seats next to Jim's mom, and I moved out of the way to let Jim scoot in first...because the last thing anyone wants is to get between Jim and his mom. They are just alike and can talk a blue streak, and...well...no one wants to be in the middle of THAT.

But Jim, the RAT FINK, goes, "noooooo...I'll be good to just sit here on the end."

And that's how Jim died...because I strangled him.

No, really. I just gave him a "if looks could kill" kind of look, and smiled at my mother-in-law.

I love my in-laws, I promise.

We all ordered our tea and water, and then the waitress asked if we wanted an appetizer. We THINK that's what she said, we couldn't really tell. She could barely talk. She told us that she'd been on vacation all week, and when she woke up this morning, she had lost most of her voice.

Which, this was delightful, because Jim's dad can't hear on a good day...and Jim can't hear on a bad one.

Jim was trying to tell her what we wanted, because if we are with Jim's parents...THERE WILL BE APPETIZERS.

There will also be dessert, if my mother-in-law has her way.

Jim can't find the appetizers on the menu. He tells the waitress he wants onion rings and some sort of appetizer where you get 3 different things. In her raspy, quiet voice, she asked him what kind of sauce he wanted with his bbq wings and he said, "okay." And she asked him if this was all on one check, and he said, "ranch."

Seriously. It was like bizarro night.

We get the appetizers and the topic of conversation that completely took over everyone at the table is the fact that we got an onion TOWER...instead of onion STRAWS, which is what they wanted. "But just look at that, would ya...it's definitely an onion tower...yes, it is." And everyone agrees that it is, indeed, an onion TOWER. Jim's mom orders something that comes with a salad, but she doesn't want her salad. She asked Jim about 11 times if he wanted her salad. He finally says he'll take it. Nevermind the fact that his meal also comes with a salad.

So they are eating their appetizers and the salads come. The waitress gives my mother-in-law her salad, and I take it. The waitress squeaks, "oh, I'm sorry...did you order a salad?" She is all confused. I said, "no, SHE did...but I'm going to eat it." She just stares at us. I said, "you did it RIGHT...I'm just going to eat her salad." My mother-in-law says, "we are a crazy family."

Whatchu talkin' about, Mr. T?

Then, my mother-in-law tells Jim that he should save the appetizers to eat with his salad.

WHAT?

Jim said, "I don't want to eat them with my salad." She says back to him, "yes, you do. That's what you're supposed to do."

It is at this point that I look over at Jim and say, in the most loving way I can, "I soooo do not like you at this moment." Because Jim and his Mom are arguing about how he should eat his appetizer with his salad...AT THE SAME TIME. And I've got one of them on either side of me. Get me out of here!

Jim just grinned and said, "next time, I'm going to seat my mother at a table across the room," and then his mother replied, "no, that won't work because I like to be in charge."

Remember that episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Frank and Marie are arguing over whether it's a pot or a pan...or whether it's a lawn or a yard?

My whole night was kind of like that.

And they are TALKING OVER ME.

And then she starts telling Jim this lonnnnnnng and drawwwwnnnn out story about someone. Jim says he doesn't remember them, and she goes, "yes, you do."

We got our food and it was all really good. The thing to know whenever you eat with my in-laws is that they have no boundaries when it comes to what is on a person's plate. They all share food and "fork" off of each other's plates. My father-in-law will eat anything anyone wants to share with him.

And then they ask for to-go boxes and proceed to pile everything that's left into a box for later. Joshua was mortified.

Let that just sink in...JOSHUA was mortified.

There's your sign.

He was muttering under his breath and all I could make out was "this is so embarrassing," and "it's ree-dic-a-lus to take all the food on the table."

My father-in-law cannot sit for long "spells." His knee will start hurting, or his foot...or his hip. Usually when he is done eating, he will get up and go outside to wait for us by his truck. We accept it and don't find it to be weird.

Anymore.

He has also started this thing where, after he is finished eating, he starts sneezing. And he gets so uncomfortable...because he's so full...that he has to leave the table and walk around outside.

So, he gets up and is heading toward the front door. The waitress whispers, "is he going to the restroom?" I said, "no." She said, "oh, good...because he's going the wrong way." Jim goes, "he's just having an allergic reaction."

And that's how the waitress nearly died.

Seriously.

She turned all pale and whipped her head around toward Jim's dad like she was on the Exorcist movie. She said, "what? He IS???"

I'm pretty sure she was seconds away from dialing 9-1-1.

It's at this point we all start talking over each other, reassuring this young girl that there.is.no.allergic.reaction.in.progress...thank you, very much.

In the end, we had a great dinner and a nice visit. We left a NICE tip. We exchanged vehicles with my in-laws, and my mother-in-law gave us all toilet paper, paper towels and laundry detergent. :)

And then she went to Lowe's to buy Logan and Morgan a vacuum cleaner because GENEROUS.

We got our new w/d and they look basically the same as the ones we are giving away. I went around the house taking pictures of things, and sending them to Logan and Morgan...asking if they wanted them. So far, I'm also giving them a rug, a lamp, bedding, pillows, and Logan's giant American flag from his bedroom wall. It was so fun! This is EXACTLY how Jim and I furnished our home in the early days...full of stuff that used to belong to others.

Who am I kidding? It's still like that. I look around my house...there's the china cabinet from my grandmother. I also have one from my mother-in-law. I have a few things from my Mom. We got the armoire in our bedroom from some friends. There's the huge, gold, couch from my sister. She also gave us about 4 decorative accent tables, the large kitchen table and chairs I now have in my dining room, those shelves, that tv, those lamps, the big, gold mirror...and the list goes on and on.

It makes me so happy when I look at all of these beautiful things and think of the ones who passed them down to us.

So thankful for our families.

"A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

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