Vacuums at Kroger

You know what they don't sell a lot of at Kroger?

Vacuum cleaners.

You know how I know? Bought one there.

I didn't even know they had vacuum cleaners there until the other day. Holly said she was grocery shopping and just happened to stroll down an aisle that had vacuum cleaners on them. AT KROGER. She texted me about it, because we are looking for a vacuum for Logan and Morgan.

Because my mother-in-law...that's kind of her "thing" that she gives for wedding gifts. She gave Jim and I a vacuum when we got married. Piece of junk only lasted for the first 29 years of our marriage.

I'M KIDDING.

It was NOT a piece of junk. It was an Electrolux, and it was very expensive. It was a very good vacuum for years. And now it sits in the land where things go before they actually die: my in-law's house.

My mother-in-law has a rule...we cannot throw anything away without bringing it down there to them first. And if they GIVE us something...like furniture or a decorative piece of crap item, and we decide that we don't want it anymore, we cannot get rid of it. We cannot even give it away, like to a charity or anything. We HAVE to bring it back down to the lake house.

I'm telling you...when they go on to Gloryland, it will take my sister-in-law and I every bit of a solid year, working HARD, to get that place cleaned out. 

Not even kidding.

So, she gave my sister-in-law a vacuum, and she gave Holly and Aaron a vacuum...and now she wants to give Logan and Morgan a vacuum. And my mother-in-law kind of wanted US to find the vacuum cleaner for her...because she doesn't get out-and-about like she used to. So, we've been looking. We just haven't been able to find the one we were looking for...until yesterday.

I had already checked out the situation when I shopped for my groceries earlier in the day. I didn't GET the vacuum then because it said you had to ask an associate and I had ice-cream and I just didn't want to do it in case it was gonna take a while.

Which, hind-sight: good call.

So, Holly and I went back to Kroger yesterday afternoon. Side note: my mother-in-law calls it "the Krogers." All of her friends call it that. What in the world?

Also...another side note: I should not have been surprised that The Krogers sold vacuum cleaners. It's got everything, as evidenced by that one time my mother-in-law went there and bought 4 things: a new phone, panties, rat poison...and cookies.

Oh wait. That was WAL-MART. My bad.

BUT STILL.

I immediately went up to a checker-girl and told her that I wanted to buy a vacuum. She said, "oh, okay...here, let me get the floor manager."

We walk up to the floor manager, and she tells him, "they want to buy a vacuum." He goes, "oh, okay...you need to go to Customer Service..."and he points the way.

SIGH

So, I walked up to the guy at the Customer Service desk, and said, "I need a vacuum." And the guy looked at me like I was a confused little old lady and said, "and what do you need a vacuum for?"

What do you think, foo?

At this point, Holly was snickering.

And at this point, you probably need to know that she was wearing her scrubs...and she looked very much the part of the care-taker-of-the-confused-little-old-lady.

I told the guy, "ummmm...to CLEAN FLOORS AND STUFF?" 

Seriously...was that a trick question? What else do people use vacuum cleaners for?

And it was like the light-bulb went on and he said, "OHHHH...you want to BUY a vacuum."

Hello? That is WHY I AM HERE.

And, of course, he had to call some OTHER guy to help us: Jeffrey. Jeffrey turned out to be the most helpful person in the ENtire store. He took us back to the vacuum aisle, and I showed him the one that I wanted. And Jeffrey went to "the back" and came back with the vacuum. Because...something else I learned: the boxes of vacuum cleaners on the shelves at The Krogers? They are empty. Know why? Because they've had problems with people shoplifting vacuum cleaners.

How...?

That must take some wranglin'...just sayin'.

But I actually bought this one, like with money...and I'm taking it to Logan and Morgan. With love from Mammaw Jack.

And now you know a lot more about The Krogers, their vacuum cleaners...and my mother-in-law...than you did before.

You're welcome.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God..." Psalm 51:10