My Dad called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I always love to hear his voice, but unfortunately...he can't always hear mine. He's struggled with his hearing for the last 15-20 years or so. It's so bad. I can tell when he doesn't hear me because there's either dead silence...while he tries to put together in his mind what he thinks I said...or he'll say, "oh, okay."
This ain't my first rodeo. Joshua has some hearing loss as well. I am used to the things he does to try and cover up or compensate for it. So when I hear my Dad say, "oh, okay" after I've gone into a lengthy description of our weekend or our plans, trying to answer the question he has just asked me...I know he didn't hear me. I don't know what he is able to make out on any given day. I usually try to talk to his wife and tell her all the news...and then when he gets on the phone, I can just skim over things without too much detail, and count on Clara to fill it all in later.
But yesterday, on my birthday, he just wanted to hear my voice.
I am learning to slow down and listen. Joshua helps me with that. Sometimes, I get tired of having to repeat myself over and over, and I feel like snapping at him. Not gonna lie...it's happened, and then I always feel terrible. He can't help the fact that he can't always hear what's going on. Hearing aids are probably in his future. I'm just trying to put it off as long as possible, because as long as he CAN function without them and isn't missing too much, it's okay. When HE starts getting frustrated, then it will be time.
So, with my Dad, I'm trying to apply the same tenderness and understanding that I use with Joshua. My Dad can't help the fact that he can't hear. He does have aids, but his hearing went down so fast that they really aren't much help...and he knows it. And he's frustrated.
He used to enjoy talking to my kids on the phone. Logan, especially, and Clark...they would call him from time to time to visit. They would always call him on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day...because my Dad was in the military. I remember the first time Logan called my Dad on Veteran's Day. My Dad said, "I think that's the first time anyone has ever called and wished me a Happy Veteran's Day and thanked me for my service."
So now, with my Dad, it's hard for him to hear over the phone...so we write and we email and we Facebook...and that's mainly how we keep in touch.
But it's not the same as hearing his voice.
And it's not the same as him hearing MY voice.
As with everything in my life, God uses the simple things to teach me big things.
Like the importance of listening. My Dad can hear pretty well if we are sitting sitting side-by-side, or across from each other. He can hear pretty well if we are in my home, or his. He cannot hear if we are in a restaurant or crowded place because of the background noise.
It's important to clear out all the "stuff" in the background. When I call my Dad, I make sure that I'm home alone...or that I'm back in my room alone. I turn off the TV. I shut the door. I want it to be quiet. I am anticipating...I am concentrating...I am intentional about preparing to hear his voice...and letting him hear mine.
It's important to slow down. When my 4 kids were little, I moved at the speed of light. One year, they all went to different schools. FOUR different schools. That was a logistical nightmare. Now that I just have Joshua and Clark at home, and Clark is the only one in school...things are a lot slower.
I've written before how Joshua loves to go to the grocery with me. If I need to run in for a couple of things real quick, I try to go by myself...because he does not do quick in any way, shape, or form. And I can let that frustrate me, or I can realize it, accept it...and slow my pace down for him.
With my Dad, his life is a lot slower now. He's retired and his health prevents him from being as active as he used to be. Traveling is hard...walking is hard. Sometimes, even getting dressed...for him...is hard. My heart breaks at how his body is giving out on him. When we are all together, I encourage my kids to go sit with him and talk...and listen. He'd like to have that kind of time with every one of his kids and grand-kids, but it's not always possible. So when we are together, I stop...I sit...and I slow down to his pace. It's a privilege, really.
It's important that I make time to hear God's voice. Dr. Henry Blackaby (Experiencing God) teaches that God speaks to us by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes and His ways. But we can't hear His voice if we aren't prepared...if we aren't intentional with creating that time...if we don't block out the background noise and all of the distractions.
If we aren't expecting and anticipating that we will hear from Him.
I want to hear His voice.
"...but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper."
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