Deer Camp #2: "There's A Rat In The Oven And I'm Cooking Biscuits"

Continuing from the first post:

After dinner and after the fire talk, everyone came inside. They started cleaning up all the dishes and that's when someone noticed the critter. There is a small difference of opinion on what exactly it was...Joshua said it was a RAT. Jim, trying to play it down, said it was a mouse.

Rat...mouse...WHATEVER.

You can just imagine the panic hilarity and complete and total fear confusion as they tried to catch or kill the rat. Everyone was hollerin' and shoutin'. Joshua said Jim was trying to hit it with a pan. They even brought in two kittens...thinking they would sniff out the cat and, at the very least, chase it out of the house. There was just one problem: KITTENS. They promptly curled up on the ratty (NO PUN INTENDED) sofa and went to sleep.

I think it goes without saying that if I had seen The Rat, I would've had to burn the house down.

All the way down.

To the ground.

Because there is no way I'm going to go to sleep when I know there's a RAT running all over the house.

And, grown men...do what you want, you crazies. But my Joshua, along with my 9 year old nephew, were both in that rat infested family house.

No thanky on the rat thing.

Apparently, the guys weren't too concerned about it because they all went to sleep, and slept GREAT until Jim's Dad got up at 3 a.m. and started cooking breakfast.

COOKING BREAKFAST AT THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Everyone went nuts, because he turned on the light and started crashing around in the kitchen.

They put their pillows over their heads to block the light, and tried to go back to sleep. But that wasn't happenin. Because, all of a sudden, a smell...a putrid, rotten smell...began to permeate the entire house.

You know where I'm going with this, don't you?

Yep. It was The Rat. Some how it had crawled into the oven. And now it was being cooked.

Jim's Dad said, "I shore hope them biscuits don't absorb the smell of That Rat."

Again, NO WAY would I have eaten those biscuits. That's why God made Pop-Tarts. Can I get an AMEN?

When Jim's Dad took the biscuits out, Jim told him to turn the oven off and he would try to get "it" out. He said that when he touched "it" with the spatula...it disintegrated. Poofed into ash.

Essentially, The Rat had been cremated.

Well, except for one leg and the tail that Jim's brother found stuck to one of the burners.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I still have chills.

After an EARLY breakfast and a quick hunt, Jim and Joshua packed up the car and got ready to leave. Except that they had a little car problem. According to Joshua, Jim left the back hatch of the Suburban up too long, resulting in a dead battery.

Joshua said, "I'm not blaming Dad...but he did it."

"...His steadfast love endures forever..." Psalm 100:5