Sunday, August 9, 2015

We ARE The Old People

So, yesterday, we had a quiet Saturday. We "hanged around" the house, as Joshua would say. Some time before lunch, Jim said, "well, let me tell you what I did." He proceeds to tell me that he ordered a BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF that will TALK TO HIS WATCH...and that it was scheduled for delivery that day.

I am so sick of our electronic devices telling us what to do. I mean, I love being able to get directions and recipes and things like that...when I initiate it. Jim has this fancy-schmancy watch that tells him his heart rate and how far he's run and how much he needs to run to meet his goal for the week. Blah, blah, blah.

Also, in the middle of church, it will beep...and the screen will show: TIME TO MOVE.

And I will glare at Jim with all of the Christian love I can possibly muster up on a Sunday morning...during church...when I know people are watching...because REALLY?


Honestly, I would pay good money if Jim would get up and move when his phone told him to. You know...lunges at the back of the church...during the sermon; maybe some light stretching or "in-place" running...during a business meeting.

Good money, I say.

People might think he was gettin' the Spirit!

So, after lunch, the mail finally came. Jim was like a kid on Christmas Day. He unwrapped it and spent some time setting it up on his computer and syncing it to his phone.

Also, he got a PINK one, because he said it was $20 cheaper than the blue one, and he said he didn't care about the color.

Here's the thing: he does not have high blood pressure at all. In fact, I would be willing to bet that it was the exact same every single time he tested it. He has just been on this kick lately...eating sticks and rocks...running all the time...getting on Pinterest...things like that.

I told him I felt like Rip Van Winkle, because when we went to bed the night before...he was a normal, middle-aged man...and when we woke up in the morning, he was 100 years old. I bet he checked his blood pressure 57 times from noon until we went to bed. It makes this buzzing "mmmmmmm" sound. We were watching a movie, and I could hear "mmmmmmmm..." and I said, "tell me you are NOT checking your blood pressure again." And there would be silence.

And then, "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

He said it was "fun," and I said, "you.are.old."

In other news, Joshua has slept in Logan and Morgan's room all 6 nights that Clark has been gone on his trip. Clark is on his way home now, and Joshua says he is ready to be back up in his own room.


I told him that Clark IS moving to college in less than 2 weeks, and that he will need to stay up in his room. He says he will. We'll see.

Our church was buzzing with excitement this morning. We have been without a pastor for 10 months, and we've had a Pastor Search Team working through the process for almost that long. It was announced this morning, that the name will be released in 2 weeks. We are so excited.

I've been a Southern Baptist all of my life...and this is how we do things...but my husband reminds me that, even tho he's been a Southern Baptist for 35 years, he was raised up Methodist, and they would've had a new pastor in 2 weeks.

So there's that.

Anyway, a lot of times, the "pulpit supply" you get is not always the best...but our church has been ABUNDANTLY BLESSED with great preaching and teaching over the past 10 months. It's really been awesome.

This morning, Joshua wore his purple shirt, "to support Clark's OBU colors." He wore his black leather jacket over it, and it was 90 degrees outside as we headed to church at 9:15. He wears his black, leather coat nearly every Sunday morning. Last Sunday, I asked, "WHY are you wearing that coat today? It is SO HOT." He said, " ELSE am I going to carry my WAH-TAH?"

Every Sunday, he carries a small bottle of water with him...ever since he had a slight cough, several years ago, and he had to get up during church, and walk out to the water fountain. Now, he is paranoid that he might do it again and he might need water. Whatever. I don't fight that battle. But, he is like the traveling salesman on Green Acres...he fills up the inside pockets of that leather coat with all manner of things he might need: mouth spray, chap-stick, extra hankies, a pen...his water bottle.

And, if it's the Christmas Eve service, he will most certainly have ONE black, leather glove in his coat pocket. Hot wax ain't gonna drip but one time on my boy's hand, before he finds a better way to hold a candle. Yep. All Michael Jackson style (eee-eee-eee).

Also, during the sermon, the pastor mentioned that he asked a group of high school CHURCH KIDS 5 different questions...just to hear their answers and see what they really knew. The first question was, "what was the name of the strongest man in the Old Testament." He said that only 8 out of 50 CHURCH KIDS knew the answer was Samson.

And Joshua, my sweet Downsy-boy, RATHER LOUDLY muttered, "idiots."

Holly had to work's her 2nd day in the NICU and she is loving it! I am so thrilled for her! I thought she would like it, but I wasn't sure...and neither was she. She never got a clinical in the NICU, so she didn't know if it would be a good fit for her. Yes, you get to work with babies all day, but these babies are SICK. And they are TINY. And some of them will not make it.

But it's Day 2, and she definitely feels like she made the right choice. Thank you, God!

I missed her being in choir with me this morning. I got there for early-service choir, talked to a few people, went through the warm-up, talked to a few more people, sang in church...and then AFTER all of that, I was walking with a girl over to where our SS class meets, and she said, "'ve got lipstick on one of your FRONT TEETH."


Everyone who was in early choir with me this morning and didn't tell me...they are ON MY LIST.

As we were sitting around the table at lunch, Jim announced that he thought we needed to start going to Wednesday night supper at our church. Which, I'm fine with...but not gonna lie: did not expect that.

And then he dropped this little bomb: he said that one of our ministers on staff at approached him about US teaching in another class. Actually, he said, "co-teaching." And something about an older couple who had "gone through some stuff" that could "be mentors and maybe encourage" some of the younger couples.

I said, "okay, cool. Who is the older couple?"

And he just looked at me and said...LOUDLY, "'s US! WE are the older couple."

And that's how Marty died.

Because we are now, apparently, being referred to as an "older couple" who has "been through some stuff" by others in our church.

I might need Jim to take my blood-pressure.

"Even when you are old, I will take care of you, even when you have gray hair, I will carry you. I made you and I will support you; I will carry you and rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

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