Saturday, May 9, 2015

What My Mom Taught Me: My Dad Loved Her Well

My What My Mother Taught Me topic for today is something that was really taught and modeled by my Dad: He loved her well.

My Mom was a force, she really was. She was always going and doing and thinking and planning. I don't know the deepest desires of her heart, because I never asked her. Actually, I never even thought about it before, when I was younger, and now she's not here for me to ask.

But I think that part of the reason she was able to go and do so much is because someone thought she could. Someone encouraged her, believed in her, and thought she hung the moon.

That someone was my Dad.

I never recall my Dad EVER saying anything negative about my Mom around us kids. Oh, my little brother tells the story of seeing my Dad come out of their bedroom...and my brother casually asked if everything was okay, and my Dad said, "oh, she'll get over it."

But, I mean, in nearly 40 years of marriage, if that's the worst any of us ever heard? I'm just sayin'.

My Dad is the most gentle man I've ever met. He is gentle in his ways, and gentle in what he says. If I could get that from him, I would count myself as blessed beyond measure. Even with that, tho, I'm sure they had difficult times. I'm sure they had cross words...that they said things they didn't mean, and probably hurt the other person's feelings. I'm sure there were rolled eyes and raised voices and nights when their bed seemed way too small.

Because that's life, right?

Tell me that's not just me.

But my Dad thought my Mom was beautiful. He thought she had an amazing voice. He thought she was talented. He thought she was pretty. He thought she was an awesome cook. He thought she was a good wife and mother. He thought she did a great job decorating their home. He thought she was good at her job. He thought she was a wonderful Air Force wife. He pretty much thought she was good at everything she did.

He was proud of her...and he loved her well.

As children, my siblings and I saw this on a daily basis. And, listen, my Mom was not perfect by ANY means. I'm sure of it. But my Dad loved her and supported her in everything she did...and our family benefited greatly because of it. Because of their commitment to God and to each other, we never lived with the fear that our parents would divorce. Divorce was never talked about, or joked about. As a result, I never entertained a thought my parents wouldn't be together forever. That provided great stability in our lives.

Ladies...girls...WAIT FOR THIS.

You are worth this type of are. 

I see so many people and they just...settle. Because they're in high school and they don't think they can find anyone better. Or they're in college and about to graduate, and everyone knows how hard it is to find a mate after you graduate from college. Or they're in the business field, working and away from "home..." and they're just lonely, ya know? And yeah...this guy isn't that great, but's a small town; or everyone is married; or I am tired of going to everything by myself.


And pray.

God has a plan for your life, and if it's to be will not be to someone who cannot be your spiritual leader. It will not be to someone you have to drag to church. It will not be to someone who doesn't have your same beliefs. It will not be to someone who continually puts you down. It will not be to someone who does not have your best interests at heart. It will not be to someone who leaves every time things get tough. It will not be to someone who is controlling or manipulative. It won't be to someone who is not committed to FOREVER with you. It will not be to someone who doesn't value you as a woman...or as a child of God. 

It just won't.

My whole life, I've heard preachers say, "the best thing a father can do for their children is to love their mother."

If that is true, I'd like to say to my Dad: well done.

"Husbands love your wives and be gentle with them." Colossians 3:19

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