I Never Did Mind the Glitter

Well, I started this post just after Easter...and then this happened and none of what I had to say seemed to matter much.

Not that it ever does.

I started seeing all of these posts about things Moms thought would be so fun to do with their kids BEFORE they actually HAD kids...and how they are finding that it's not that fun at all.

If there's ever a time to state the obvious, I think it's now.

Allow me:

Parenting is hard.

Not just sleepless nights and colicky babies and trips to the hospital and the fits they throw in the check-out line when you have your other 3 kids with you and ice-cream and milk in your buggy.

Yeah. Good times.

Those times are hard bc DUH.

I'm talking about the other times...the ordinary days of play-dates and dyeing eggs and birthday parties and making a cake for daddy.

Play is HARD.

And, listen, I understand. There were times in those early days when Barney was my best friend. Can I get an AMEN?

Please don't judge. All I wanted to do was take a quick shower...or cook dinner for my band of rat-finks...or, God forbid, GO POTTY BY MYSELF.

Sheesh.

It wasn't just Barney. My older two watched Sesame Street like none other. Holly liked those Wee Sing videos, Donut Repair Club and Veggie Tales. Sometimes I watched along with them...a lot of times I did. And other times, I took advantage of 27 minutes to slap a healthy well-balanced some sort of food on the table for dinner.

I wanted those moments that people talk about...the ones where you sit with the kids around the table as they paint some sort of craft that can be given as gifts for Christmas.

Whatever.

Honestly, just thinking about those days kind of gives me the hives. But I loved it all. It was hard, but I loved it.

I think there are a lot of things that determine how a person views things. For instance, I wanted to be a Mom my whole life. I couldn't wait to do with my kids...all the stuff that I never got to do when I was little.

When I had Joshua, I knew that my life would be different. Whether I liked it or not...and I did...my parenting was going to have to be slower...more intentional...more hands on. I'm pretty laid-back, so that was good. And, after Joshua and Holly, I had the younger 2 boys...and they wore down any semblance of dignity and decorum I ever even thought about having.

Joshua took a lot of extra time. He still does. Holly was a good balance for us because she WAS content to sit and play and draw and paint and sing and dance and play the piano. And, even tho she was nearly 3 years younger...she loved to play "mommy" to Joshua.

And then I had Logan...and he was all boy, all the time. It's funny because when our babies were born, we didn't do anything differently with them in those early days/weeks...but their little personalities became evident very soon. We joked that Logan would rather take apart a toaster than read a book...which is funny, because he now LOVES to read.

Logan ran or skipped everywhere he went (when he was little...if he did that now, well, that would just be weird!), and viewed everything as a competition. If we were dyeing eggs, he wanted to use more colors, or ALL the colors...and he wanted to get done the fastest. He wanted to be outside...in a creek...up a tree...bringing home critters he found outside. When we went to the zoo, Holly would be in awe of the animals, especially the baby animals. Logan spent more time chasing the chipmunks and lizards that RAN AROUND THE PARK FOR FREE. And then Clark's personality is a blend between Holly's and Logan's. He and Logan together are a force to be reckoned with. They will make you laugh. They will make you cry. They will make you lose your mind. They will wear.you.down.

Isn't it cool how God made us?

I don't remember my Mom ever sitting down with us to color or paint or anything like that. She took us to plays and concerts, and we traveled all over the world because of my Dad's job. She definitely broadened our horizons, but as far as being a hands-on Mom, she was not. And I wanted to be SO BAD. But that's just me. And that's the way God made me.

I wanted to talk to my kids and listen to what they had to say and hear about their thoughts and dreams. I wanted to teach them about God, and help them see His hand in every area of our lives. I wanted to show them grace and thankfulness...to appreciate and think of others...and to realize how very much we are blessed...and to give back.

Intentional parenting is HARD.

I think these days we're in now are even harder for moms. They have all kinds of social media, and memories are recorded instantly...with the opportunity to "edit" so that things look perfect, of course. That's why I posted my cover photo on Facebook that I did...it's from 2010. We did get a good picture out of the day, but there were several outtakes that were TRUE TO LIFE.

We take pictures of our decorations, and push everything (and everyone) aside to get that perfect shot of the mantle. We move laundry from room to room as we attempt to photograph the perfect life...the life we want to have but don't...the life we want everyone to THINK we have.

We need to keep all of that in mind as we attempt to have a wonderful parenting moment with our 10, 7 and 4 year olds...carving a pumpkin, or dyeing eggs, or baking cookies, or going to Disney World...all while nursing their baby brother. We need to keep in mind the ages of our kids and how NO ONE IS EXCITED AFTER AN 18 HOUR CAR RIDE, no matter how big the mouse is that's waiting to greet you.

And we need to not beat ourselves up when the expectations we have for these magical parenting moments don't measure up to how things really go down.

It was hard...but even during the hard days, I didn't mind the glitter. Or the paint. Or the play-doh that got squished down in the carpet. Or the permanent marker marks...the stains or everything that broke.

I'm not a better mom than you...or anyone else. I just got a dose of perspective back 28 years ago...and I learned from it. About what is truly important. And ten years later, I learned that life is fragile and precious and strong...and I determined to major on the majors.

There's nothing wrong with being organized and having a clean house and expecting certain behavior from your kids...nothing at all. But there's also nothing wrong with throwing all of that to the wind for an hour...or a day...and just enjoying the moments.

I just felt like we were building something that mattered...something strong that would last...a foundation for their lives. And sometimes that can be a little messy.

"The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn't collapse, because it's foundation was on the rock." Matthew 7:25