When Living in God's Will is Hard

When we moved here a year and a half ago, our first priority was to find a church. In our minds, I think each of us...in my family...had things we hoped we would find in a church home. I know I did.

Isn't it funny how we all look for the "perfect" church that will meet all of our needs?

For Jim and I, it wasn't anything like, "oh, I hope they have pews instead of chairs," or "I hope they have deacons instead of elders." Or the other way around. 

Granted, we were hoping for a vibrant and growing youth group for Clark, but our main hope was to find a place for Joshua.

In the town where my kids kind of grew up...where we lived for 15 years...Joshua was able to go through the ranks and be in Sunday School and various groups with the kids from his grade every year. They knew him...most of them loved him. Well, you know, except for that one lady who told me Joshua "ruined" the video she took of her daughter during the children's choir program. AT CHURCH.

When he graduated from High School, our church started a class for Special Needs individuals. It was taught by one of Joshua's former school teachers. Joshua took the roll, and helped out his teacher in the class with "those Special Needs people." HIS words.

Notice he didn't include himself in that statement. He was the teacher's helper...her assistant, if you will.

So funny.

But, you know, he's no different from the rest of us. He wants a place to serve as well.

After a year, tho, we moved...and he hasn't had a Sunday School class that is actually where he needs to be since then. Jim and I taught the college class at our next church. Holly was in there...and so Joshua would come in there with us and it was okay. Then Logan graduated from high school, and he was also in our class, and it was still okay.

And then we moved again...to where we are now.

In the first 7 weeks we were here, we visited 6 churches. NONE of them had a class for people like Joshua.

NOT ONE.

But we felt God leading us to this church and so, in obedience, we joined. Even tho we didn't understand, we knew that God loves Joshua more than we ever could, and He wants the very best for him. Clark loves the church. We are trying to find our way and we really like it here...but, still, there is no place for Joshua.

Right now, he is going to a "career singles" class of young adults in their 20's. He likes it okay, but it's awkward for him. They are very "mingly" and talk about their lives and dating and their jobs and all of that. It's really not where he needs to be.

We've been here a year and I haven't said anything to anyone about it...until today. I guess I thought...I hoped...someone would take notice and the problem would somehow be magically solved. We, our church, are moving to our new building at our new location in about 5 weeks, so all of our lessons have been from...guess what book of the Bible? NEHEMIAH. DUH. Part of our lesson this week asked us to share...how long we had been members, what brought us here, what thing stands out in our minds since we have been here...and in what areas would we want to see the church grow and develop. I almost let it go...but my heart was pounding and I felt God's Spirit prompting me to speak. I wanted to say, "God, are you SURE I should say something? I still haven't quite recovered from last time!" Ha!

And so I did. I shared our hope for a place for Joshua, and people like him. And you know what? They all just stared at me...shocked. Of all the talk about the new building and the new teachers needed and the shared space and the fact that our new campus is going to be right across from the University and the 64 nations that are represented on that campus...NO ONE has thought about individuals with Special Needs.

I mean...in a town our size, there has GOT to be more people like Joshua. He loves God, and he loves church so much...it breaks my heart that our church doesn't have a place for him. I know that I am more sensitive because I am his Mom. I get that. It's just sad to think he's not an after-thought...he's not even a FIRST thought.

So, one of the men in our class said, "well, if you feel there's a need..." and I thought, "DON'T YOU EVEN GO THERE WITH ME"...but I didn't say anything...and he finished about how "someone" should get that on their heart and "someone" should view that as a ministry. I knew what he was trying to say. When a friend of mine suggested a Special Needs class at her church for her daughter, she was told, "since you think it's a need, why don't you teach that class?" Her thought is that if she's going to need to teach her own child...she could just stay home. Jim and I could teach a Special Needs class at our church...we really could. But, like I told the other people in our class, "We want what you have. We want to be able to bring our WHOLE family to the same church, and be able to relax and study and worship...and, for 45 minutes to an hour, KNOW THAT OUR ADULT CHILD IS SAFE and well-cared-for...and that he's learning about Jesus to the best of his ability."

Is that too much to ask?

And then one guy looked at me and said, "well, finding someone to do that is the problem. IT'S JUST TOO HARD."

And then I went OFF on him and said, "TOO HARD? It's TOO HARD for someone to be in an room with my adult child...and others like him...for 45 minutes? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

It's TOO HARD to try to communicate with a person who is different from you, but who would probably grow to love you with all of their hearts...someone YOU would grow to love with all of YOUR heart?

TOO HARD to reach someone who would teach you how wide and how deep the Father's love is for all of us?

TOO HARD to accept people who don't see the differences in each other, who don't see disabilities...it's just how they are...who don't care what color you are...or if you showered that day...or if you are wearing the latest style?

TOO HARD to experience one of God's greatest gifts...someone who would bless you way more than you could ever bless him or her?

These are people, created by God, just trying to find a place where they are accepted and loved.

If not at church...then where?

TOO HARD?

Welcome to my world. Every.single.day. This whole life that God has chosen for Jim and I is hard, but you don't hear me complaining that I can't do it. Because I can't...but God in me CAN.

And, I'm just kidding. 

I totally didn't go "off" on anyone or say any of all that "too hard" stuff to my SS class. What would that have accomplished? I have found that the conviction of the Holy Spirit is better than any type of righteous indignation I can muster up on my own. And, who knows what God's plan is for Joshua in this church?

I've always been told that the best place to be is in the center of God's will...but no one ever said it would be easy. This life that we are all called to live...it's difficult at times, am I right? There are Believers who live with unspeakable pain and suffering every day...or in harm's way every day...or far away from their families every day...or under persecution every day because of their faith. Some deal with great loss every day. Why does doing God's will have to be hard sometimes?

And please don't think I am comparing my life to the life of a missionary or someone in a foreign country who is being persecuted or imprisoned because of their faith. I'm not.

It's not just the intellectually challenged that don't have a place in our churches. To quote Robin Roberts of Good Morning America, "everybody's got somethin'." There are many weak and broken people who are falling through the cracks in our churches. Honestly, if we look at our own lives, we are all weak and broken in one way or another. The body of Christ cannot function properly until we all learn to work together and appreciate the different gifts and abilities God has given us, and until we care for every one of His creations.

"...some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary."
1 Cor 12:22