The Saw and The Ham

So, the other day after the ice-storm, a man came to my in-law's house and asked my father-in-law about cutting down a dead tree.

Truthfully, it needed to be cut before the ice-storm, and Jim had told his dad he would come down to help him...but this guy came by and said he would do it for $25. He told Jim's Dad this long, sad story about how he used to do this and that...and how he needed the money...and about everything that had gone wrong in his life. Jim's Dad had a weird feeling about The Guy, but said if he would come back in the morning, he would let him do it.

After The Guy left, Jim's Mom, who has a very tender heart, gave Jim's Dad the "what-for" for agreeing to only give him $25. She said, "you have been so blessed, and you mean to tell me that you are ONLY going to give him $25 to cut down that tree?"

And then I'm sure there was some friendly yelling.

The Guy showed up the next morning. He did not have all of the necessary tools...the ones he did bring were in need of repair or replacement. He asked to borrow some of Jim's Dad's tools, but Jim's Dad said, "no." I mean, the whole point of having this guy do it was so that Jim's Dad didn't have to do anything.

The Guy would say how many trees he had cut down that week, but his actions showed he had no clue how to do it. Jim's Dad has cut down lots of trees in his lifetime. Jim and his brothers have cut down lots of trees in their lifetimes. Jim's Dad has also paid people to cut down trees that were too difficult for him and the boys to attempt.

The Guy bragged that he could shoot a rope up to a branch with his sling-shot and when Jim's Dad said, "okay, let's do that," The Guy said, "my sling-shot is broken." He also asked to see Jim's Dad's chain-saw, to "see if it was better than his." Jim's Dad said, "no...mine is messed up." He already did not think this guy was on the up and up. But this last thing sealed it: The Guy told Jim's Dad that he had noticed a dead pine tree that also needed to be cut down. Jim's Dad said, "where?" The Guy pointed to a certain tree. Jim's Dad said, "that's not pine." The Guy said, "oh, yes it is...I've been cutting pine all my life and that is a pine tree."

At this point in the story, it would be good to know that Jim's Dad is a Forester...by trade and COLLEGE DEGREE. He has him some experience. Like over 60 years worth. Just sayin'. His family...they have planted and cut pine trees for decades. The income has put many-a-meal on their tables. Don't tell him about pine trees.

Well, The Guy was a bungler. Like Gomer Pyle. Jim's Dad ended up doing most of the work after all...and he's nearly 80 years old! And, so that he didn't have to get a rear-chewin' from Jim's Mom to be nice, Jim's Dad paid The Guy $45...but he was not one bit happy about it.

Fast forward from Saturday...to Monday night. "Someone" broke into Jim's Dad's storage building and stole his chain-saw. Whoever it was also stole FOOD from the refrigerator that's in the carport. In the carport, but JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR THAT GOES INTO THE HOUSE. Jim's Dad was upset about his saw, and who could blame him? But Jim's Mom is furious that the thief took her HALF-A-HAM.

And 2 gallons of orange juice.

And 4 pounds of bacon from the freezer.

ROO.

The saving grace is that it didn't happen on a Tuesday night. Tuesdays are my mother-in-law's "Kroger Days." It's Senior Citizen's Day AND Double Coupon Day at "The Krogers," as she calls it. My mother-in-law buys in bulk, and her trips take her at least 2 hours. She says when she goes on Tuesdays, they "practically pay HER for shopping there..." because of all the money she saves.

She is also known for buying things after the expiration date "on special" and keeping things wayyyy longer than a person should. So, my son-in-law said that, depending on the date on the meat, the joke may be on the thief.

Call it the gift that will keep on giving.

"You shall not steal..." Exodus 20:15