Well, "what had happened was..."
Around here, when anyone starts a story with those 4 words, it really means: "BIG.LIE.TO.FOLLOW."
But no, really.
What had happened was...that Faith, Clark's girlfriend, had left up her Pinterest account on Jim's laptop, and so when he opened it last night, it sparked something in him. I don't even know.
Anyway, we were sitting there and he asked Holly, "how do I get on to Pinterest?"
And that's how Holly and I died.
But, we came back to life, and Holly helped him set up an account of his very own. And then, OH MY WORD, the world...the Earth...it actually STOPPED. And then it started spinning backwards.
I mean, that's the only explanation.
The next thing I know, he asked how to set up a Pinterest BOARD, how to make it secret...and could I buy him a head of Romaine lettuce the next time I'm at Kroger, "because IT SAYS ON HERE that I can re-grow it in my garden."
NONE OF US IS SAFE.
AND LET ME JUST SAY that I wish I could remember everything he had to say about Pinterest back when I got on it...years and years ago. I can't remember everything, but the phrase "COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME" comes to mind.
And also? HELL HAS FROZEN OVER. This is not a drill.
He's already got me buying organic tree bark for him to eat. Now he's gonna have access to recipes on how to use it.
I'm kidding about the tree bark...for now. But if some study on the Internets said that tree bark was good for you, I am 100% sure that he would eat it.
For the record: the only "bark" I want to eat is almond bark. On pretzels. Or wrapped around a cake ball.
I already look like a crazy person at the grocery. On one side of my buggy, I'll have almond milk and bread with no yeast and grain-fed butter and eggs laid from chickens who not only got to roam around without a cage...they were also petted and sang to and got weekly massages.
And on the other side, I'll have chips, Diet Dr. Pepper...and ice-cream.
Then, he asked me and Clark to start saving the little Keurig cups after we make our coffee. I'm convinced he's found plans on Pinterest on how to build a tiny house completely out of recycled and re-purposed materials...and he's going to build it and then move into it...and live in our backyard.
I seriously don't know what has gotten into Jim.
Maybe he ate some gluten.
"A joyful heart is good medicine..." Proverbs 17:22