Monday, July 27, 2015

On Turning 55

I turned 55 yesterday. FIFTY-FIVE. I can hardly believe it. In my head...I still feel like I'm 35. But you know what "they" say: the eggs don't lie.

I like to really celebrate birthdays when it's for someone else, but I like to keep things low-key for my own. Nothing can compare to how I felt last year. We went to a favorite Mexican restaurant. The kids told the waiters it was my birthday, and they (the waiters) JUMPED up behind me, singing at the top of their lungs. SCARED ME TO DEATH. And then they put a dollop of whipped cream on the tip of my nose.


I thought Joshua would laugh himself silly.

And, hey...when I have grandchildren, I will be the silliest grandmother EVER. I will whoop and hollar and act like a crazy person to make them laugh. That day is not here.

We got up and had a pretty typical Sunday morning...the only difference was that Jim gave me an inappropriate birthday card.


Which, speaking of birthday cards, my mother-in-law sends the best cards. Not because they're the prettiest or say the best words or anything like that. But because, with her? You never know what you're going to get. She buys cards in bulk, so she's never "in a bind" when she needs to send a card...and she typically chooses a card for the picture on the front. So, you can imagine that there have been times when the word "son," has been crossed out to say, "daughter." Things like that. But the picture on the card would be real pretty!

Also, I got a Get Well Card for my birthday one year. She just crossed all of that right out with her "ink pen," but wanted me to "just look at the pretty flowers on the front!" This year, I got a birthday card for a young girl. It had a beautiful butterfly on the front. But it's what she wrote that was the best. 

"Happy Birthday. We love you. Now you can get the senior discount at The Krogers."


Did I mention I don't like a fuss on my birthday? And nothing says NO FUSS like asking the checker at The Krogers for your senior discount card.


OH, YEAH...the other thing that happened was, on Saturday night, when I was getting things ready for Sunday morning...I realized that we were out of cinnamon rolls. If you've read here very long, you know that I (or Jim) fix cinnamon rolls (from a can) EVERY Sunday morning, without fail. When my kids were little, they called them "Sunday Rolls." I always have 1 can, and I always have 1 can IN THE WINGS...just in case.

But, last Sunday, we used two cans instead of one...because Logan and Morgan, and their friend, Patrick, were here with us, and one can wouldn't have been enough. And then I just didn't think about it this week when I was at the grocery.

So, as Joshua headed upstairs to bed on Saturday night, I called up to him and said, "hey...I'm out of cinnamon rolls, so in the morning, just have pop-tarts...or the left-over poppy-seed muffins."

And I swear he looked at me for a solid 25 seconds without speaking. Even Jim noticed the DEAD.SILENCE and looked over at me.


Joshua said, "you're OUT? Of CINNAMON ROLLS?

Yes. Yes I am.

And then he went into his room, where I could hear him saying, "mumblemumblemumble...outofcinnamonrolls...mumblemumblemumble..."

We had a great time at church...and then we brought home a birthday lunch from the Wendy's drive-thru.

I'm classy like that.

Later in the afternoon, we all...7 of us...loaded up in Jim's Burb...and we headed to meet Logan and Morgan for dinner. We had driven up to see my Dad and Clara the day before. It's 3 1/2 hours each way, and Jim and I did all the driving. Yesterday, on our way to meet Logan and Morgan, Jim thought we should give the kids a break from sitting in the "way-back" he and I sat back there with Joshua, and Clark did all the driving.

It was a tight squeeze. Because, as Jim said, LOUDLY and multiple times, "one of our bottoms is too big for this seat."

Take into account that it was 150 degrees in the "way-back" seat until the air kicked in...and Jim was moving around and acting like a nut and trying to, ON PURPOSE, squinch us all together.

I appreciate a good sense of humor as much or more as the next person, but KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE, MAN. In the words of Roseann-Rosanna-danna, "I thought I was a-gonna die." IT WAS SO HOT.

But the more Jim cut up, the harder Joshua laughed. He kept staring at Jim, because, like I've stated before, there is room for one funny person in a family...and JIM IS NOT IT. But, yesterday, I will admit it...he got the award. But I was hot, and I am not responsible for my actions when I am hot. It didn't help my irritation (with his antics) that he was wearing his bright red 'toe shoes." Because, you know what I'm not a fan of looking at? Men's FEET. So, what could be better than to wear bright red shoes that highlight each and every toe?

ANYway, we typically meet Logan and Morgan in a town that is halfway between here and there. We went to the same Mexican restaurant where the whole whipped-cream-on-the-nose happened last year...but my kids kept things on the down-low THIS year. The only clue it was my birthday, was when Holly busted out a cake she'd made, and we had to ask the waiters for some small plates and extra forks.

Let me just prepare all of you young parents out there. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that no one ever told me any of these things, and they all took me by surprise. This:

You might not always be with your kids on their birthdays.

And also: Your kids might not always be with YOU on YOUR birthday.

I remember a few times...not many...when I haven't been able to be with my kids on their birthdays, and...while I'm sure they were FINE with it and totally didn't see the big deal because we could just celebrate at another time...I was so, so sad.


Because, like most are there for their first birthday. Or for their "gotcha" day, if you go through the adoption process. I just assumed I would always be there for all of their birthdays.

But my kids grew up and two of them (so far) went to college...and then two of them (so far) have gotten married. And they have lives and friends and school and work and (God forbid) THEIR OWN PLANS...and so it's not always possible to see them on their birthdays. Or on MY birthday. So, it was such a treat to get to spend part of my birthday with all 4 of the two spouses, and one girlfriend.

Of course, any day I get to see all of them is a great day. But seeing them on my birthday made it extra special.

"...May she who gave you birth be happy." Proverbs 23:25

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