Lakehouse List: Don't Bring Home a Ham!

Jim has been trying to spend more time down at his parent's house. They are doing okay, physically...for the most part. You know...when they aren't cutting off limbs or having heart issues or Mammaw Jack's vertigo isn't on fleek.

See what I did there?

But they live on a lake, and have a big place that just needs a lot of care.

A LOT.

So, Jim and Joshua go more often than the rest of us. Clark usually has plans, and so I usually stay back at home with him so that he doesn't have to stay by himself. AND, it gives me some time to do things around here without interruptions. This last time, Jim, Joshua AND Clark went down to The Lakehouse, and I stayed home and finished painting that dang kitchen ceiling.

Fun times.

Or the exact opposite of that.

ANYWAY, when Jim is gone, I like to clean out the frig and the pantry. There's just a lot that needs to be put in the trash from time-to-time, but Jim...well...he is not a fan of the throwing-of-the-away. He always thinks we can get one more drop of ketsup out of the bottle, or scrape one micro bit of peanut-butter out of the jar, or continue to eat those stale Saltine crackers. YUCK.

This last time, when they were gone, I threw out a partial container of half-and-half that looked like it had chunks in it...not even kidding...but he was still using it in his coffee every morning.

JUST SAY NO TO THE CHUNKS!

So, I painted the ceiling and cleaned up the kitchen. I cleaned out the frig and the pantry...and I did all the laundry.

Every time Jim goes down to his The Lakehouse, he brings back a TON of stuff...food and what-not. And while I appreciate it, a lot of the stuff Jim brings back is stuff we don't use: random candy and those really thin paper plates that you have to use 2 or 3 in a stack, or they fall apart, items that are at or past expiration...you know, things like that. We don't have a big pantry like we did at our last house. This one is pretty small. So, I thought I would "help" Jim by sending him a list.

THINGS WE COULD USE:
*laundry detergent
*paper towels
*toilet paper (Jim's mom calls it toilet "tish-ah")
*dishwashing liquid
*EVOO
*tea
*Heinz ketsup for Joshua
*OJ
*not rotten milk
*peanut-butter
*bars of soap
*Colgate or Crest toothpaste

Please don't think I'm being a brand snob. Well, I kind of am. Joshua likes Heinz ketsup, and you and me and everyone else might think that you can't tell a difference, but he says he can. He eats ketsup on nearly everything and he doesn't ask for much...and so, as God as my witness, he's getting Heinz ketsup whenever possible.

Also, the toothpaste and soap items: I haven't bought bars of soap in forever. No, really, FOR-EV-AH. Like in 35 years of marriage, I have rarely bought a bar of soap. My mother-in-law shops at what she calls, "The Krogers"...on Tuesdays, which is not only Senior Citizen Day, and there's a discount...it's also "double-coupon" day.

She says they practically PAY HER to shop there.

The only problem is that she thinks she HAS to buy the items that are "on special," because it's such a good deal. EVEN IF THOSE ITEMS ARE THINGS NONE OF US USE.

That point is irrelevant. IF IT'S A GOOD DEAL..she must buy it.

So she buys bars and bars of soap...I mean, if it's by 10 for a dollar, she'll buy 20...because "it was just $2! Can you believe it? TWO DOLLARS!"

Same thing with the toothpaste. But it's not always the "good" toothpaste. Many times it's the rainbow colored or bubble-gum flavored or the gel kind that sticks all over the sink. No thank you.

And then I thought I'd send him a list of, you know, things he sometimes brings back that we DON'T need:

*butter mints
*random crackers
*random granola bars
*poptarts
*cereal
*snack-sized baggies

We do love us some crackers here at our house. And some of what my kids call, "granoli bars." Joshua even eats pop-tarts a couple of times a week. Jim does eat cereal at times...but only certain kinds. With his gluten-free, gluten-light, tree-bark eating life-style he's adopted right now, he does not eat cereal like he used to. As we speak, I have 8 boxes of cereal in our pantry...and JIM is the only one who might eat it. He thinks it "helps" his mother if he takes some of the food...because she buys so much and there's just her and Papaw there. It does not help...it only fuels her hate-fire passion for buying all the things.

And snack-sized baggies are a good thing. A couple boxes of them are really helpful. 13 BOXES of them, however, is a mental disorder, and WE DO NOT HAVE THAT MUCH ROOM FOR SNACK BAGGIES!

The butter mints? I don't even know what to tell you. Apparently they were "on special." And apparently she bought them for a reason. What that reason is, I do not know. Even stranger is why my husband would think that anyone who lives in this house would have a need for butter mints.

And then, I sent him one more list..."for the humorous."

THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ME KILL YOU IF YOU BRING THEM HOME:
*ham
*rotten milk
*butter mints
*any brand of RED, gel toothpaste
*random candy we don't eat
*cake mixes
*expired canned goods, salad dressing, other condiments
*deodorant that smells "funny" even tho it's never been used
*regular Oreos (if they aren't double-stuffed, why bother...right?)
*anything that needs to be eaten 5 minutes after you get home

I like ham...like, one meal of ham. I do not like a giant BONE-IN ham that lasts for a week or more. No.

The red, gel toothpaste? If you have kids, then I do not need to explain this to you. UGH.

The cake mixes? Most of them have expired, and I just don't want things that are expired. I'm sorry...that's just me. I understand that, in many cases...with canned or boxed goods, it might be a "suggested sell-by" date...but no. No thank you.

I am not completely ungrateful. It's just that you don't understand how they are. We can't just get one bag of chips...we must get 8. We can't take two cans of peaches...we must take 10. We just do not have the room to store all of the excess.

I so appreciate the generosity of my in-laws. Their selflessness has spoken volumes to us, and their example is something we are passing on with our own children...with our very own supply closet here at home. In fact, just yesterday...before Logan and Morgan headed back to their home...I saw them standing in front of the supply closet, choosing items they needed for their home.

THEY did the choosing.

And it made me so happy.

"A generous person will be blessed..." Proverbs 22:9