Monday, June 29, 2015

Jim and Technology: Or, Why Run Keeper Is Out To Get Him

It's no secret that my husband loves technology. He was the first one in our family to get Facebook AND TWITTER...and we have 4 kids! And he might deny it, but he loooooooooooooves it.

It's kind of the equivalent of Mammaw Jack sitting in her "truth chairs" at the Lakehouse.

Jim's Mom has these chairs in front of her big, bay window at the Lakehouse where they live...and she sits in them most of the day and talks. She talks on the phone, or face-to-face. She talks TO people...and she talks ABOUT people.

She says it's all good, tho.

Which, she grew up with one sister, and 3 girl cousins...and I've seen the 5 of them go all Buck Wild Crazy if they even THINK someone is messing with their family.

Jim's Mom has family and friends who stop by all hours of the day and When she hears the door open, she jumps up and starts a pot of coffee. She knows that certain people like certain things. If one friend comes, they will have coffee and cheetos and those chocolate covered marshmallow cookies (Pinwheels). If another friend comes, they will have coffee and candy. One family member comes to eat breakfast left-overs.

It's constant.

And there's all the talking. It's constant, too.

When we are there, she will invite me over to the "truth chairs" or the kitchen table to "talk" with them. Even after all of these years in the family, I don't know all of the people they talk about. And, honestly...I could care less about 95% of the gossip. I try to be nice and play along...but that's just not my thing.

Now that Jim has gotten Mammaw Jack on Facebook and Instagram...well, there's just no stopping her. She has discovered the "like" button, and she is liking everything known to man. The other day, she figured out how to write a comment. She's written two comments so far.

That I know of.

All by her.own.self.

Old people and technology...funny AND scary.

Anyway, Jim has the run-keeper thing and it keeps cutting off part-way during his run...and then the full time and distance doesn't show up on his social media. It makes him so upset! I don't get it. He's not in a race or anything. He's not competing with anyone but himself. He still did the run...or the walk...or the bike-ride. He is still getting all the benefits of the exercise.

He also wants the credit. :)

So, now he's got this watch...and it is totally the boss of him. It tells him when he's been still too long and how many steps he takes in a day and how far he runs...and it keeps up with his heart-rate. It's supposed to be synced with Run-Keeper and the computer...whatever...I don't even know. I am NOT tech-savvy.

Also, on Sunday, at church...DURING THE SERMON, I heard this "beep" and it was Jim's watch. I glared at him (in the most Christian-wife way), and he leaned over to show me. On the screen of this watch were these words: "TIME TO MOVE."

I told him that I think his watch is quenching the Spirit in the service.

The latest thing that is happening is that Jim claims his Run-Keeper is "stealing" his heart rate...and it won't share it with his watch.


He said something about it hijacking his calorie count, and that he would be burning more calories IF THEY WOULD JUST SHARE.


I said, "you ARE burning calories, whether it's put on Facebook or not."

I will never understand men as long as I live.

This is going to be the title of my 3rd book: "Why Life Is Out To Get Me...The Life and Times of Jim." 

Because I'm sure that my first two books on marriage, "Get Off Me," and it's follow-up companion, "Don't Touch Me There," are going to be HUGE HITS on the best-seller list.


"...the LORD longs to be gracious to you..." Isaiah 30:18

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