Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Nobody's Cuter Than You!

I love my Lifeway store, I do...but this morning, it was on the struggle bus.

I have been patiently waiting for Melanie Shankle's new book, "Nobody's Cuter Than You," to come out. I have been going by Lifeway every.single.time I'm in Little Rock...which is typically 3 times a week...just to check and see if it was on the shelves.

And, yes...I know that today (April 7) was the official release date, but my Lifeway put Sophie Hudson's latest book, "Home Is Where My People Are," on the shelves 2 weeks early. When I saw it, I did the happy dance in the middle of the store that day, and one of the nice gentlemen who works there said, "wow! You're excited!" And I said, "well, this book wasn't supposed to release for two more weeks," and he said, "it WASN'T?"

Which, there's a whole 'nother story there about how I bought several copies of the book, and then took all of the remaining copies...and lined them up on the top shelf. Alllll across the top shelf.

I felt a little bad for the other authors whose books I covered, but...hey...they'd had their moment, and I wanted Sophie to have hers.

And, you know, that 30-day restraining order Lifeway gave me went by really fast.

I'M KIDDING.

So all of that made me think that they might release Melanie's book early, but they didn't.

My Lifeway opens at 10, and I was there this morning at 10:05. I would've been there right on time, but traffic was stopped bumper-to-bumper at the bean fields.

(you have to live in central Arkansas to know what I'm talking about) (it's a nightmare almost every day)

But I busted through the doors of Lifeway (not literally), and headed to the section that contained Melanie's other books to get "Nobody's Cuter Than You."

IT WAS NOT THERE.

AREYOUKIDDINGME?

So I went to pay for my "Seamless" Bible Study book (Angie Smith), and the checker-outer-lady said, "did you find everything you were looking for?" And I said, "no ma'am, I did not."

I told her what I was looking for and she typed it into the computer.

She said, "hmmmm...today is the release day."
And I said, "well, duh I know."
She said, "I don't know where it could be?"
And I said, "IN A BOX IN THE BACK, maybe?"
She said, "let me look," and she took off.

I would like to report that, in about 1 minute, there were no less than 3 Lifeway employees scouring the store for this book.

And, about this, I would like to say, "WHY?" Because, seriously...why not put her books in the "Women" section? Or the "new release" section? I don't get it. When I asked about this, one of the lady employees said, "well, we have to put them where the COMPUTER tells us to put them...so that we'll be able to find them."

And I may or may not have slow-blinked her in my mind, because THERE ARE NOW 4, count 'em...FOUR...employees looking for this book.

Bad computer...bad, bad computer.

Another employee asked what everyone was looking for, and we told her. She said, "Oh! Is that the lady who has all of the cute covers on her books?" 

And I said, "yes, yes it is."

And, I KID YOU NOT, they started pulling the books from all over the store. One lady shouted, "I'VE GOT THREE!" One man said, "I found one!" Another man said, "here are two more!"

I bought them all. 

Because, honestly? I don't have the energy to go back in there anytime soon.

But I saw where Melanie said she bought a copy of her own book today at her Wal-Mart. Truth be told, Wal-Mart is kind of like my mother-ship...so I'll be checking that out.

And, at this point, I'd like to say, for full disclosure, I don't know any of these people. I just stalk read their blogs and I love their writing. Each of them...hilarious, tender, and heart-warming. And when I like something...I like something. I think you should check out their blogs AND their books! :)

In other news, I've already given away 2 of my 6 copies to friends! So excited to give away the other 4 copies!

Friends are just the best!

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Proverbs 27:9

6 comments:

  1. Hilarious! And I can see how it was frustrating. :) I wonder how they got all over the store... maybe another Melanie fan came in before you and spread them out so they'd be seen more? Or the opposite - someone HID them!?!

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    1. They had this book in different sections of the store. It was crazy. They had one in the "marriage" section. I said, "THAT'S not a book on marriage..."The Antelope In The Living Room" is her book on marriage!" They had 3 sitting on a random shelf at the end of an aisle. The last copy was found in the "parenting" section. Again. NOT THAT KIND OF BOOK. "Sparkly Green Earrings" is her book about parenting her daughter. The Lifeway employees were so nice and helpful, but goodness gracious! I bought all the copies they had!

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  2. Ha! I like Melanie's blog and books, too, but ... I confess ... I have not ever stalked the bookstore to buy one of her books. I tend to pick them up on kindle ... eventually. I'll probably get this one for our trip this summer - if the kids will just be quiet and calm on the plane, I'll have plenty of time to read. :)

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    1. What is this "quiet and calm" of which you speak? ;)

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  3. My family sat one table over from Melanie and Gulley eating lunch one time. They were in the middle of their famous Christmas shopping weekend. I still contend that I kept my cool, but my family recalls the story differently. In any case, if you ever write a book (and I hope you do!) I will stalk the heck out every bookstore in South Texas for you! They won't know what hit 'em! (But you must do a book signing in San Antonio!) :-)

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    1. SHUT UP...YOU DID NOT!

      Thank you for your kind words, Tanya. You are always so sweet! I actually AM going to write a book...in fact, I'm working on two books on marriage at the moment (you know, because I consider myself an expert., since I"ve been married for 100 years...HA!). The first one is called, "GET OFF ME!" And it's anxiously awaited sequel: "Don't Touch Me There." I predict they will be best sellers, and I will most definitely come to San Antonio!

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