Monday, April 18, 2016

That Time Jim Drove in the Yard

I may or may not have alluded to the fact that my husband, Jim, is an extremely a tad of a Type A person.

Just a TAD.

And the rest of us in the family...not including our "add-ons" (Joshua's word for his brother-in-law and sister-in-law)...are most definitely NOT Type A people.

So a lot of time is spent with the 5 of us messing things up around here...and the ONE person ranting yelling fussing commenting on the fact that we are all messing things up around here.

Jim likes neat. He likes order. He likes real. He likes what is logical. He likes what is rational. He likes facts. He does NOT like messy, chaos, what is unrealistic...or what is illogical or irrational.

I don't want to make him sound like a tyrant. He's not. He is smart, wise, kind, generous, focused, persistent, diligent, strong, honest, faithful. And for every one of his personality traits and quirks that drive me crazy, I have about 5 more that make him go nuts. Mine are just on the opposite end of the spectrum.

If things were left up to Jim, our home would run like a well-oiled machine, and we would have a LOT more money. Our kids would be organized, focused, driven, competitive.

If things were left up to me, our kids would be wandering around aimlessly in the town square, with no direction, no money, and no plan for their lives...but they would love Jesus and God and babies and puppies and flowers and snow-cones and bubbles.

All this to say that people with all types of personalities are needed in this world.

And, all this to say that Jim and I balance each other very well when we work together.

And all this to say that, while I'm sure it is very hard for Jim to live with us, sometimes it's hard for us to live with him, too.

But, most of the time, it's funny.

Because what I consider to be little things, will really bother him. Like, "WHY are there two bottles of ketsup opened in the frig? WAIT until one bottle is empty, and THEN open a new bottle." And, "you really need watch how many times you open and shut the garage only has so many ups and downs in it." WHAT? And, "take it easy on that tv wasn't meant for changing channels like a maniac"

He's wound a little tight...and he knows it. The things he gets upset about...most of them are legitimate complaints. We probably SHOULD watch how many times we use the garage door. I know it's MADE to go up and down...but it won't last forever. He's just wanting us to take care of things around here. It's just the things he says, and the way he says them that makes us laugh: "it only has so many ups and downs in it." BAHAHAHAHA.

He likes to tell people that he lives with 4 monkeys and a hyena. (humph!)

He just grew up with parents who taught and practiced frugality...and while he doesn't think HE was ever, ever, ever wasteful, his parents will tell a different story...about him, and his brothers, basically just kids being KIDS. But now those kids are all adults and parents...and sometimes we become our parents.

Also, there's nothing wrong with being frugal...with money, time, activities, etc. 

One of the things I get "in trouble" for around here is driving in the yard. I don't MEAN to, but it does happen from time-to-time. Occasionally. RARELY, even. I use the small side of the garage, because my vehicle is smaller...but the way it's all situated, I have to "swing wide" in order to get in and out...and so, sometimes, I MAY have SLIGHTLY gotten a tire (or two) in the yard during my attempts.

And Jim. Bless him. He can't even deal.

He says, "that is ruining the yard!" And, "I don't know why it's so hard for you to get your car in and out of the garage." And, "I don't know why I even bother working so hard in the yard, when EVERYONE ELSE doesn't seem to care." And, "SOMEONE ran over the sprinkler head."

Okay...I did feel bad about that last one.

I come from a short line of people who have a good sense of humor...and I'm so thankful. Jim comes from a long line of O-VER-RE-ACT-ORS, and men who like to make a scene to get a reaction. They really should've just all gone to Hollywood, and made us all a ton of money...but instead they like to let us enjoy their dramatic flair.

I realize this is a long and drawn out post, and y'all are probably not going to "get" how this all went down, OR why I thought it was hy-larry-us, OR why, when I told the kids later...THEY all thought it was hy-larry-us. And you might not even believe that JIM was trying hard not to laugh the whole time.

Here's what happened: We were leaving for church yesterday morning, and we were in my vehicle. Jim was driving. He backed out of the garage, and all of a a sound that was heard 'round the world...his tires went off the driveway...and into the yard. I looked at Jim...he looked at me. YEP, THAT JUST HAPPENED AND I HEARD IT. Joshua and I looked at each other, and gasped! Joshua said, "oooo nooo, in his deepest, Freddy-est voice.

And then I started laughing.

And then I WENT a very respectful way, mind you. (wink!)

Now, normally, I would say that it is not wise NOR IS IT PRUDENT to repeat something back to the person who said it to you in the first place. But I decided to take my chances! "I canNOT believe you can't pull in and out of the garage without getting in the grass. IT'S JUST NOT THAT HARD. Apparently NO ONE understands that I am the ONLY ONE who does all the yard work around here, and the rest of y'all don't appreciate it at all. Y'all must think FAIRIES do it...I bust my rear all day and then come home and work hard in the yard...and y'all just drive all over it WILLY-NILLY in your cars. I don't even know why I bother. This is why we can't have nice things. We should live in a tent on a dirt road...and everyone can drive all over the yard and no one would even care. You know, none of this would've happened if you hadn't distracted this is soooo not my fault. Also? Clark parked right in my way. I'm not a genie...I can't drive a car through metal. it's not my fault."

I was being VERY loud and dramatic...letting my voice get all high and squeaky LIKE SOMEONE ELSE DOES WHEN HE GETS ALL RILED UP...and I was flailing my arms like a maniac. Keep in mind that we are on our way...TO CHURCH.

At this point, Joshua was ROLLING LAUGHING in the backseat, and Jim was trying not to laugh. He said, "well, it's not my fault...YOU distracted me."

And I said, "I'm sorry that me, sitting here quietly in my seat...BREATHING...distracted you from the hard task of backing out of the garage."

And then HE said, "Well, if CLARK hadn't parked his car RIGHT IN MY WAY, I would've been able to stay on the driveway."

See? Even our children are not immune to being thrown under the bus.

In the end, we all had a good laugh, and arrived at church in happy moods. Joshua said, "I can't WAIT to tell Mammaw Jack (Jim's mom) about this!" I reminded him to say that it was all in good fun.

(MY good fun, but whatever)

"A joyful heart is good medicine..." Proverbs 17:22

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