Change

I don't really like change. Do you?

I mean, in my early life, growing up as an Air Force brat...change was my middle name.

My siblings and I...we were always the new kids of the class. Always. We always had that nervous feeling in the pits of our stomachs as we moved to a new community...and started a new school...and went to a new church. I mean, I moved 16 times before I graduated from high school. I even went to 3 different schools in the 4th grades.

THREE.

In one year.

I think that's why I really wanted my kids to grow up and live in one place. I mean, even tho I made it fine, and moving all the time made me more "well-rounded" (or that's what THEY tell me), and it made me more empathetic to new people...I didn't want my kids to have to go through the being-the-new-kid stuff.

And we did live in one community for 15 years...and our two oldest children got to graduate from high school there. But then we moved...the summer before Logan started 10th grade. And it was HARD. Logan? He had an easier time, because he started summer football practice before school started, and got to meet lots of people. Clark had it harder. He was just in 5th grade. He was so nervous. When I dropped him off at school for the first day, I cried and cried as I watched him walk in.

This same child came to me less than 2 weeks after school started, and said he wanted to run for Student Council. And I thought, "bless this baby's heart! He doesn't know a soul, and he's going to run for a student-elected office? I can't handle this!"

But he and I made a couple of posters, and he put them up at school...and the child WON. And that was the beginning for Clark. His confidence soared, and he became a leader in his school.

And then, the summer before HE started 10th grade, we moved again. And it was HARD. We also brought him to football practice here during the summer, and he got to meet lots of the guys. Still, this school here was HUGE. He did okay here. He wasn't as involved as he was before, but that's probably because of football. He's a Freshman in college now, and I think he will tell you that it all worked out okay.

There are always opportunities for change...and it's HARD...to know what is good and what is best. Our parents...they are aging...and it is HARD. In our friend circle, there is loss, cancer, divorce, marriage, grandchildren, new jobs, moving to a new place. It's HARD. Some friends of Logan and Morgan are in a foster-care situation with a child they desperately want to adopt...and it's weighing heavy on my heart. It's SO HARD. Our youngest son is going on a missions trip out of the country next month, and I know God is there just like He is here...and I know He holds our future and knows our days...but I'm a Mom...and it's just HARD.

The past couple of weeks, I've fallen into bed, feeling...weary. Weary of all the sadness and the loss. Weary of change.

And my mind races when I should be sleeping...and my heart is heavy over some burdens our friends are carrying. And for some of our own.

But, change can be good! And change can be necessary. Every move we've made has been good. God has gone before us and prepared our way...and He never left us. He took care of us and took care of our kids.

He watches over our parents. He is giving us discernment and direction in that area. Our friend's little foster son? God holds him close, when his parents cannot. And seeds will be planted for the Kingdom during Clark's travels.

And so I'm "taking every thought captive." (2 Corinthians 10:5), and thinking about things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:8) (like our very first grandbaby that will be here early this summer!) I'm confident I can "lie down and sleep, because You, O LORD, keep me safe." (Psalm 4:8) I know that "when I am afraid, I will trust in You." (Psalm 56:3) And that God never sleeps. (Psalm 121:4)

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8