I just got in from shopping.
I need to lie down.
We have Spring Break coming up, so I wanted to get a few things. The first place I went was Academy. I am all over that place...like, I love everything in there. Leggings, hoodies, t-shirts, shorts...socks, shoes. I LOVE IT ALL. It's my happy place.
And then...it was time to head to the mall to look for a swimsuit. DAH, DAH. DAHHHHH.
And in a dressing room, with a hand-full of swimsuits to try on...THINGS. GET. REAL.
I can cover up a lot. Foundation, under-eye cream, concealer...even sunglasses...these are all my friends. I love me a cardigan or a little jacket. Long shorts, track-suits and leggings. Ahhh...
But stand half-nekked under the bright fluorescent lights of a department store dressing room and there's no hiding. And, I don't know about you, but I felt like I'd had a cardio work-out after I was done...pulling, reaching, shimmy-ing...is that even a word? I had about worked up a sweat! WHEW!
Side note: the other day when I was looking for shorts, I told Joshua, "I really like the longer shorts...for me." And he said, "I agree...I don't want to see that much of you."
I try not to say anything about body issues in front of anyone. I am very thankful to be healthy. I really don't want to pass down any negative feelings about how I look down to my children...or my friends. Truth is, the shape I'm in has nothing to do with how God made me...and everything to do with eating habits, physical activity (or the lack thereof)...and birthing 4 children. Can I get an Amen on the last one?
And as much as I want to start running with my daughter, it's just a matter of time before my bladder falls smack out on the ground...and no one wants to see that. Am I right?
What if we uncover all that we've covered up...on the inside? Lay it right out in the open. If we really are about what's in our hearts and not what's on the outside...then why do we spend so much time adorning our outer person?
There are lots of things we cover up besides the "problem areas" of our bodies. We cover up our beliefs. Sometimes, we do. We fear losing our jobs or our reputations or our friends...maybe even our families. We fear that we might hurt someone's feelings. We fear that we can't defend our beliefs if someone questions us about them.
We cover up our abilities. Sometimes we say we are "too busy." Sometimes it seems easier to just let someone else do it.
We cover up anger, hurt, disappointment. We cover up our insecurities. We cover up how we really act at home.
Sometimes, we cover up our dreams. We question whether or not it could really be. What if we tried? What if we fail?
Everyone will know.
Sometimes, we cover up our sin.
But God made us and He sees all of us...the good that we show, and the not-so-good that we try to hide.
What if...we laid it all at His feet?
And let Him work...and let Him lead.
"...You are the God who sees me..." Genesis 16:13