Sunday, January 5, 2014

Shark Bait, Ooo-Ah-Ah

Well, this blog originally started as a way to record things about our lives with Joshua...and I haven't written much about him since his Very Merry Christmas Program, Take 2.

He's still here...being his funny, funny self.

My newer vehicle seats 8 people. My old vehicle seated 7. Doesn't matter, really. If we are all together, or if we have more than 5 riding with us, Joshua will be in the back left seat.

Like, the back left seat in what my kids call the "way back."

He likes it back there. He has a cup holder and a little compartment that he can store his things in...and he gets back there and makes his nest and is as happy as he can be. I've tried sitting back there with him and he doesn't really like it. It's HIS space. Plus, side note: riding in the "way back" of a Suburban that's turning can be like being the last kid in a line of "crack the whip."

Fun at the roller-rink. In a Suburban? NOTSOMUCH.

My new vehicle is smaller than my old Burb, so I wasn't sure how it would be going on a long trip. Definitely not as much luggage room! And, where the Burb had 4 bucket-seats and a bench in the way-back, the newer car has two bench seats. We gave Joshua the choice of whether he wanted to sit on the middle bench seat on the way to Texas, or if he wanted to sit in the "way back." He chose the "way back."

Kinda figured he would.

So Jim put down two of the "way back" seats to give us more luggage room, and left one up for Joshua. He made sure to leave room for Joshua to make his nest. Joshua is a creature of habit and likes to travel with all of the things that make him happy: a small backpack full of notebooks and pens, his Bible, his devo books, his ipod touch, headphones, mouth spray, hankies, chap stick, eye-glass cleaner, cell phone, charger, etc.

First of all, when we met up with Jim and Joshua to start our trip down to Texas last week, the first thing I noticed was Joshua's face. He apparently had not shaved for at least 2 days. And he was pretty happy about it. I was less than thrilled.

You see, when you have a child with special needs, you already will get a lot of looks. So, it's really important that they look well-groomed and clean, because people will judge you as the parent, no matter how old your child is...and they will make assumptions about the child based on his/her physical condition.

I asked Joshua about it and he said he was growing some "chin fur." I told him that it looked kind of scruffy...that he only saw his grandparents 2-3 times a year, and I wanted him to look nice. He said he would shave when we got there, and that was fine with me. I mean, at this point...whatcha gonna do?

BUT THEN we stopped for lunch. We are walking in to the restaurant and I look down and Joshua has this huge stain on his blue t-shirt. SERIOUSLY? I said, "what is that?" Joshua very matter-of-factly says, "oh, that's from LAST NIGHT when we ate at the Hibachi place with Mammaw Jack and Papaw Genie."


I said, "you wore that last NIGHT? Why didn't you wear a clean shirt today? Did you bring an extra shirt like I asked you to?"

Joshua is pretty black and white in his thinking. If we are staying 3 days, he brings 3 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks, etc. He does not take into account that there might be a spill, or some other reason where he might possibly need to have an extra of anything.

He said, "oh, I have other shirts in my bag." Except when he says it, it sounds like "other shuhts in my bahg."

And we walk into the restaurant just asking for some "bless his heart" looks. ARGH.

Side note: Please don't think we travel wearing our Sunday best...we don't. It's a well-documented fact that I am the most UNfancy person on the face of the earth. I was wearing my black "yoga" pants and Jim was wearing jeans...Clark and Faith were dressed about the same way. The "restaurant" we were going into was McDonald's. Classy, I know. I just wanted Joshua to look nice for his "old-school" grandparents who like to see their grandchildren look nice.

And, altho this has nothing to do with the story, I'd like to mention at this point that we found a hair on our table half-way through our lunch, and it reminded me of that Seinfeld episode at the Royal Bakery where Elaine finds a hair on their cinnamon babka and says, "It was a little hair. I took it off," and Jerry says, "a LITTLE hair? Do you think that makes it better?"

No, no it doesn't.

After lunch, it's my turn to drive and it's now my 3rd time to drive the newer car. It's got this back-up camera thing that freaks me out, and plus, if you read my other post about our trip, all I could see out the back IS THOSE DANG BICYCLES. And the person next to me parked too close and there were cars parked behind me in the next row...and there was a car waiting for me to back out so they could have my spot. And, my intestines still hadn't unclinched from the whole stopping-on-the-interstate thing, but I backed out successfully and got out on the road. I had my seat-warmer and my to-go cup of diet Coke. I found a K-LOVE station and I finally began to relax and enjoy the drive.

All of a sudden, I was jolted back to reality. There was a noise coming from the back that sounded like a) the bikes fell off and we were dragging them on the interstate or b) I had lost the radio station  and there was just that loud static. I don't know. It scared me so much...I about ran off the road. I looked in my rear-view mirror to see Joshua...big grin on his face...SHAVING with his battery operated razor.

Yes, folks...he was the car...going down the interstate. And we all busted out laughing...because shaving.

There's a picture of this on my Instagram: @martythemoose

I also need to talk about Joshua's hair. He wanted it styled like his two younger brothers which is short on the sides and a little longer on top. It can either lay down, like normal hair should...or it can be spiked up. Joshua, ever the routine guy, told Logan that he spikes his hair on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. WHAAAT?

Well, it was Sunday...and his hair was spiked up...HIGH. I'm talking like we live in one county...and his hair is in another county.

And Joshua LOVES it.


Every time he goes to the home or at a restaurant...when he comes out, his hair will be higher than it was when he went in.

Joshua was listening to music on his i-pod touch and had head-phones on...and I don't know how it was even possible, but his hair was sticking up...even with the head-phones a shark fin.

Every time we looked at him we would say, "shark bait, ooo-ah-ah."

Or we hum the music from know what I'm talking about.

I mean, seriously, it's a masterpiece...the way his hair sits up there. @martythemoose

At some point, while I was cracking up at the "fin" in my rear-view mirror, I looked closer...wasn't Joshua wearing a BLUE shirt earlier? When we stopped at the restaurant? That had a stain on it?

Well, now he was wearing a red shirt. I was so confused. I said, "Joshua...did you change your shirt?"

He grinned and said, "I changed my shuht quietly so no one would know...hee, hee, hee..."

That little rat-fink had quietly found his own bag back in his "way back" seat, and had changed out of the one with the stain...without any of us even knowing what he was doing! And without getting out of his seat-belt. How is that even possible?

And when we arrived at my sister's house, not only was he clean-shaven...he had on a clean shirt, too!

"O LORD, You alone are my hope. I've trusted you, O LORD, from childhood." Psalm 71:5

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