Not that I actually want to run away. Oh, I've had those days for sure. Oh, yes I have.
This week, I just kind of want a re-do for the week in the "mom" department.
You know, I thought I did everything a "good mom" should do...you know, the right ways to feed and diaper...Christian pre-schools and church activities and Bible verses each week. I packed the lunches and wrote notes on the napkins (my kids called them "love na'kins). I volunteered in their classrooms and at their schools. I drove them everywhere. I opened up our home to their friends. I made posters and cheered from the sidelines and tried to be their biggest supporters.
But what is important in the big scheme of life?
Because if I look back...without editing so that all I remember are the good things...a lot of what I remember are the times I didn't act right, or nice, or appropriate; when I didn't show grace, or mercy, or love; when I didn't speak quietly, but instead spoke in anger; when I yelled "HURRY UP" about a million times, instead of stopping to take a deep breath...and slowing down.
And I can't get those times back...you know, to re-do them and make better choices...to make things right.
I've just been wondering, now that my time as a young, hands-on mom has gone...did I do enough of the most important things?
Do my kids know how much I love them? I mean, really, really love them? Like my-heart-is-about-to-burst-when-I-think-of-them kind of love. Do they know, really know, that we, their Dad and I, think the world of them...are so proud of them...expect much of them...and want the best for them?
Do they know how important my relationship to the Lord is? Or how important that theirs is for them? That it is THE important thing? That everything I did or said or am...or didn't do or say or what I am not...none of it matters if they didn't see the Lord in my life.
Because I know that they know that I'm not perfect...but do they see me try and fail and fall and get back up again? Do they see me show mercy and grace...and patience? And do they know that...if there are times that I do...it is all because of God? That HE is my Sustainer each day?
Do they know that even though I am so unworthy...Christ died for me, and has blessed me far beyond what I deserve?
Because me...without Him? There is nothing of any value or worth.
Okay, kids...when those "down days" come, just know that you are not alone...or powerless. Arm yourselves with the Word of God. Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). He will get into your head and tell you all matter of things that are not true. God is not the Author of confusion, but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). Call on the name of Jesus. His name is mighty in power (Jeremiah 10:6) and you have life by the power of His name (John 20:31). And "at the name of Jesus every knee will bow... in heaven and on earth and under the earth" (Philippians 2:10).
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
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