Yesterday, I pulled up to the Therapeutic Recreation Center to pick up Joshua. They had gone out on an outing, and they weren't back yet...so I pulled out my phone to check messages and social media.
My heart nearly stopped when I got on Twitter, and saw the tweets about the shooting in San Bernardino.
Because, before we knew that it happened in a conference room that had been reserved for a holiday party, it was reported that it was at a center for individuals with developmental delays and special needs.
Like my Joshua.
It was reported that, on any given day, doctors were in that Center, assessing toddlers and young children for services...with adults who have special needs there as well.
Like my Joshua.
The more I read, the more the tears fell...and my heart was racing.
I nervously looked around the parking lot...and at the building. What would possess someone to come in a place like this, and terrorize and murder our innocent ones? I thought of how frightened everyone must've been...how brave the people there had to be to keep everyone calm.
What is our plan? Should we have a plan? How do we implement that without scaring all of the FRIENDS?
The fact that those children and adults were not harmed...it doesn't make it better. I mean, I am relieved, but there are still 17 people who lost their lives...and even more families that have been disrupted forever.
And while those victims likely didn't have "special needs," they were special...and they were needed. They were innocent, and they didn't deserve to die.
My heart is broken over this, because if this is terrorism...like, if it's legit...being funded and promoted by the bad people overseas...then that is going to change how we live forever. I just remember someone in the military being quoted saying something along the lines of, "we fight them over there, so we don't have to fight them here."
Well. They may be here.
What is the answer?
I don't know.
I know that GOD is the ultimate answer...a personal relationship with His son, Jesus, is the ultimate answer. But with the free will He gave us, not everyone in the world will follow Him.
Until He comes again, I turn my fear over to Him...and I run into His strong tower.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
"Listen to my prayer, O God. Do no ignore my cry for help! Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles. My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can't stop shaking. Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness. How quickly I would escape--far from this wild storm of hatred. Confuse them, Lord, and frustrate their plans, for I see violence and conflict in the city. It's walls are patrolled day and night against invaders, but the real danger is wickedness within the city. Everything is falling apart; threats and cheating are rampant in the streets. But I will call on God, and the LORD will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the LORD hears my voice. Give your burdens to the LORD, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. But you, O God, will send the wicked down to the pit of destruction. Murderers and liars will die young, but I am trusting You to save me." (Passages from Psalm 55)