Have you noticed that it's easier to help total strangers, and even be okay if they don't thank you...than it is to help and serve the members of your own family?
Or maybe that's just me.
It's hard, isn't it? The people that we live with day-in and day-out sometimes seem to be the least deserving of our kindness. But I wanted my boys to learn how to serve our family with love, because I wanted them to one day serve their wives and THEIR families with love.
This is an area in which I feel I have not done a good job. I've gotta admit...I used to be a very selfish person, but once I became a wife and mother, service just came naturally to me. I loved it...most of the time. So I thought that by modeling a spirit of servant-hood toward my kids...they would just naturally pick up on it and do it for each other.
NOT.
Or, not usually.
I guess my first clue should've been with my mother-in-law, who is the biggest servant of anyone I know. She has always put her family first...and her needs last (if ever)...so you would think her 3 boys would have naturally picked up on that, but they didn't.
But for our kids to know how to serve, they had to see our example. Our kids saw us working at church in various ministries...and even if they weren't exactly sure what all was going on, they saw us doing things for other people...friends, family, strangers. And we have taken them along with us on various outings and trips...service starts in the home, for sure, but they can learn to serve others at a very early age.
Joshua has a huge servant's heart, but I don't think it has anything to do with anything we've taught him. I just think it's his bent. He helps me to the best of his ability every day. He will help others at the drop of a hat. There have been many occasions when we've been out, and someone has fallen, or dropped something, or left something...and I am telling you...Joshua is on it in a flash! And there were days when the boys were younger, that Joshua would go into their rooms, and straighten up and make their beds for them. Because having a neat and orderly room is important to Joshua. Now, his brothers? I don't think they ever thought to do anything like that for him. Not that they are selfish or uncaring brothers...it just never crossed their minds. Having a neat room is not important to them, so they wouldn't think to do that for Joshua. But I think their days are coming, like they do for all of us, when they will see someone else's needs/desires and consistently put those before their own. I already see evidences of this as they mature. Everyone just matures at different rates.
I didn't worry about this as much with our daughter. I could see from an early age that she had a heart that leaned toward service. There were some years when that servant's heart was buried deep inside, but it was always there and God was always working. It would make random appearances, mainly when she was caring for or helping with Joshua. You know someone is really kind if they can help a person, even when it's embarrassing...or when the person they're caring for cannot ever pay them back. It was this quality that Jim and I saw in her that made us believe she would be a great nurse...years before she ever saw it in herself. And it's this quality that makes her a wonderful daughter, devoted wife,
And our younger boys...they love each other, they do. And they do serve others, and do so with a willing heart. They volunteer at Special Olympics and service activities at church and school. They've been on missions trips. Both have worked at camps and retreats associated with church...they have reached out to younger kids as mentors and friends. Both are great with kids of all kinds. Both are great with kids who have special needs. I LOVE to watch them serve...and to hear of their service to others. Both Logan and Clark love Joshua. I am proud to be their mom and proud of the strong and loving men they are becoming.
I guess it's like everything else. The Bible clearly states how we are to conduct ourselves, and it is full of examples...Jesus being the #1 example...and yet, being obedient doesn't come "naturally" to us either. And just how I don't want to be defined by my past...my selfish attitudes and mistakes...I am not defining my children by how they were when they were younger. We continue to model the behavior we want to see in them, and pray that as they get older, they will continue to grow in their desire to serve God and others. Jim and I aren't perfect and we mess up daily. But just like God works in and thru us, even in our imperfections and flaws, I know that God is working in my children as well!
Psalm 133:1 "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!"
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