Being Wise, The "F" Word, and Dirty Santa

Got your attention?

This morning, Joshua was telling me a little bit more about what all went on last night. He said, "Jenni said the "f" word."

And I was thinking to myself: "don't react, don't react, don't react."

I said, "oh dear." He said, "yes, she said the "f" word and Marci heard it and Tiffannie heard it and she is going to get in BIG TROUBLE with her parents,"

And at this point, I know not to say anything that will be repeated.

Because it will all be repeated.

This ain't my first rodeo.

So I said, "Jenni said the 'f' word to Tiffannie?" And Joshua said, "the WHOLE "f" word." And I repeated, "she said it to Tiffannie?" And Joshua verrrrry sloooowwwwly said, "the WHOLE "f" word."

(sigh)

I did not want to pursue it any further, because I don't know what exactly she said or what he heard or what he thought she said.

Joshua said that Jenni's helper-friend, Tiffannie, wasn't going to be able to take her to the gym on Wednesdays now, and Jenni "will lose all motivation to work-out."

I told him that there are lots of things you can do at home to work-out. Joshua works-out in his bedroom several times a day. Every day. Joshua said, "hmmm...I think I might write down a work-out plan for Jenni, like I did for Aaron." And I was, like, "uhhh...you might want to ASK her if she wants your help first. Because if you walk into Therapeutic Recreation on Tuesday and hand her a piece of paper with a work-out plan on it, she will probably take offense to that and be very sad and mad."

Emphasis on MAD.

He said, "well, she looks to me for help because she thinks I'm so wise..." And I said, "yes, well..." And he continued, "...which...I AM."

Tonight we went to a Sunday School class party. Last week, we went to a SS class party for our former class, and tonight we went to a SS class party for our current class. Jim said, "there probably won't be many people there, because it's such a busy time for everyone."

I counted 34.

Also, last week, when we got the email about bringing the $10-$15 gift for the Dirty Santa game, I packed up something and off we went. The first year we went to this particular party, I went out and bought something nice, and then everyone else brought things like garden gnomes and foot cream.

Well, Momma wasn't born yesterday. I might die tonight, but I sure wasn't born yesterday...so when THIS class sent out the email about the $10-$15 gift for the Dirty Santa game, I was prepared. Jim said, "we're just gonna take the stuff we got at the party last week...which was a small FOOD GRINDER...and a tape measure. I packed them up in gift bags, and also wrapped a nice ornament for the host and hostess as a kind of "thank you" gift.

Thank goodness.

After the first couple of gifts were opened, Jim and I realized we were in BIG TROUBLE. These people don't play. Everything was NICE. Like, really nice ornaments and holiday frames and gift items. Yeah. AWK.

I ended up with a really cute MOOSE door-stop, which I kind of felt guilty about taking...since the girl I stole it from ended up with our crap. BUT, this one girl came up to me and sweetly said, "you know? That moose just fits you for some reason...I can't put my finger on why." (this was right after this other girl said, "I like the door-stop moose's big, fluffy bottom.")

And, just like that, all the guilt melted away.

Yep. It DOES fit me...and I believe I will just take it on home.

The only saving grace was that the chick who got our "re-gifts" was the hostess...so at least she got a really nice "thank you" ornament out of the deal.

But seriously?

Can we just be over the Dirty Santa game?

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful..." Proverbs 15:13