This has happened several times lately and it's freaked us all out...because I'm NEVER sick. And about the time I wonder if I should head to the ER or to a "doc-in-the-box," the symptoms will subside and I'll start feeling better.
I think it freaks everyone out because of the heart issues that run in my family. My Mom said she didn't feel good one day...was sick off and on for 2 weeks with what her doctors determined to be a "stomach virus," and then she died. And her autopsy showed that she'd had a heart attack 2 weeks prior...that first day when she said she didn't feel well. She just didn't have "the symptoms" that we typically associate with heart disease.
And neither do I.
But I am going to get this checked out as soon as I can...and I feel much better today. I won't bore you with it all, but I think it's funny how people act when they're sick. Some are sooooo needy and complain-y and high-maintenance. Some are really stoic.
Me? I want to be left alone. It's such an unusual thing for me to feel bad, that my family doesn't really know what to do when I'm sick. Not that I'm indispensable or anything. They do fine. It's just weird. I mean, this same thing happened last month, and when Clark found out I wasn't feeling well, he and Faith went out and brought me balloons...like I had just been in the hospital for days or something.
I started feeling bad yesterday afternoon, and was feeling really yucky by dinner time. I was trying hard to get it all on the table. I finally got Jim's attention and told him that everything was ready, and that he could maybe serve himself and Joshua from the stove area...and that I was going to lay down.
And he said, "okay," and then began to ask me 50 thousand questions...and all I wanted to do was to MAKE HIM STOP.
And, before you think I was just being mean (and maybe I was)...don't you think it's reasonable to think that someone you've been married to for, say, 100 years, would know you better than that?
I think yes.
Last night, I thought YES, only bigger...but I'm better today. And nicer. :)
But I could hear him and Joshua eating and talking, and it made me feel better to know that they were having a good dinner. And then I started thinking, "I'm feeling really bad...why isn't anyone checking on me? I could die in here and no one would know for hours."
And then, after 19 hours, or maybe just 1 hour, Jim finally came in to check on me. And then he started asking me 50 thousand questions AGAIN, and I started thinking, "WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?"
Clearly, I am a joy to take care of when I'm sick.
I had on the country music Christmas special with the girl from Sugarland. I don't typically like a ton of country music, but the Sugarland girl said that Carrie Underwood was going to sing a song with Michael W. Smith, and I really wanted to hear that. Unfortunately for me, once my symptoms eased up, I guess I dozed off...and I woke up when the last song was on and I guess I missed it. Or maybe I dreamed up the whole thing.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When Clark came home, I could hear him ask Jim, "where's Mom?" And Jim told him I was not feeling well. Clark came in and I could tell he was concerned. And then he said, "this happened last month, too, Mom...have you been to the doctor?" I said, "no." And he said, "why not?" And I said, "I don't know." And he said, "well, you said that you would." And that's when I decided that I really didn't want anyone to check on me. Like ever.
Because you know what is not fun when you're sick? Having someone ask you a million questions.
And do you know what is worse than that?
Having one of your children, whom you gave birth to and love very much, remind you...when you are sick and maybe even dying...that you said you were going to go to the doctor to get checked out last time.
On the other hand, he told Faith and when she came over later last night, she had a goody bag filled with a magazine and a movie and some candy and a card.
So sweet, but see what I mean?
I'm a Mom...and I'm a caregiver. No, I don't have an elderly parent that I'm caring for at this point, but I have a Joshua. I always have a careful eye on him...even when he's not with me. If that makes sense. I know what works for him; I know what he needs; I plan for him...I plan AROUND him. I care for him. My senses are hightened around him...alert and aware.
With my other children, it was the same way when they were little. And it's that way with my husband. I know each of them as individuals. I know what they need...what they like...and what to do for them when they are sick. Some of them want you to
I am thankful that even when our families and friends don't know what we need, our heavenly Father always does. And, as much as they care for us, our Father cares even more. If His eye is on the birds and knows when one of them falls to the ground ("Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet one of them falls to the ground without your Father's consent." Matthew 10:29)....if He knows the hairs on our heads ("Indeed, the hairs of your head are all counted. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows!" Luke 12:7) and if he knows our thoughts and our words before we think and say them (Psalm 139)...then we can know that He is watching over us like no one else can.
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
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