Update On My Dad

I called my Dad this week. I meant to call him on Easter Sunday...but one thing led to another, and then I forgot.

I know. I felt bad about it.

BUT, I was keeping up with him, because one of my sisters called him, and then she gave me the report. At the end of their conversation, she asked him, "how's your health, Dad?" And my Dad said, "oh, the "house" is fine...just a few problems with the garbage disposal and the central heat..."

WHAT?

Bless it.

And then the other day, when we were coming home from the beach...my brother, sister-in-law, and 3 of their kids, were headed up to see my Dad in Tulsa. And the weather they were heading into was bad...very bad. I texted my sister-in-law, Shelley, to make sure they knew...because they don't follow the weather like we do (my husband works for the utility company...we are always "weather aware.").

She said, "thank you," and that after they checked it out, Dave (my brother) had decided to go a different way, to be safe. She told me that they had called and talked to my Dad. He said that Clara was at church, but he was at home.

I asked Shelley to let me know when they got there safely, and how my Dad and Clara were doing...and she did.

So, when I called my Dad this week, Clara answered, and I talked to her for a long time. Honestly, this is easier, because it's hard for my Dad to understand everything because of his hearing. His hearing aids don't really help that much when he's on the phone, but if I can tell Clara everything...she can relay all of it to my Dad. And then I usually try to send an email right after the call. I am able to go into more detail in an email, and it's easier for my Dad to understand it.

ANYway, first thing Clara said was "Well, YOUR DAD was saying how you didn't call him when we were having a storm the other night. He told your brother, "Marty ALWAYS calls me when we're going to have a storm...but she didn't this time."

Ruh-roh.

Then I had to go into the explanation of how I was texting Dave and Shelley the whole time, and how I was keeping in touch through them...

I don't think they bought it.

He did tell me that on the stormy night when Clara was at church...she was IN THE HALLWAY at church, along with everyone else...because the TORNADO SIRENS WERE GOING OFF.

Eeek!

And SHE told me that my Dad was home alone and pretty scared. He heard the hail hitting their back patio...which, that he heard it is a miracle in itself, because of his poor hearing. AND, he said that he just knew it was going to break out all the windows. Clara told me that their neighbors have a "fraidy hole" in their garage, and had told them they could use it at any time. My Dad called over there, but they didn't answer. They found out later that they were out-of-town. So my Dad ended up going to the bathroom, because it was the most interior room in their house.

It made me so sad to think of him there all by himself!

But my brother and sister-in-law got there shortly after...and then Clara drove home, and everyone was safe and sound.

Except the roof. They suffered hail damage and will be getting a new roof. I wish they would get a storm shelter.

I asked my Dad how he was feeling, physically. He has Parkinson's. He said he was okay. His main issue has been with restless leg syndrome. He gets so tired, because he can't fully relax. His doctor gave him some sort of patch that he wears every day, and he thinks it is helping.

He told me that he'd also had his yearly appointment with his cardiologist. He said, "I really like that guy." He said he was the one he saw in the hospital after his heart attack.

Uh-oh...then he would be the one who glared at Leanne, Robin and I...as we brought my Dad a frosty from Wendy's into the recovery room...after his heart attack.

Those frosty's are yogurt, right?  His doctor acted like we were giving him a stick of butter on a sugar cone.

When we walked in with that thing, my Dad was so happy.

Anyway, the cardiologist asked him how he was doing, and my Dad said, "well, I don't have any problems as bad as heart problems...I've just gotta deal with what I've got."

My sweet Daddy.

I will never forget him telling me, "God has been good to me all of my life...I have no reason to believe He'll stop now."

"...Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" Job 2:10

Easter 2015

We had a great Easter this year. It's hard to believe it's our 2nd Easter in our new church building.

And, what a difference a year makes. Last year, we were hoping and praying for dry weather, so the parking lot could be poured before Easter. This year, the building and the grounds are complete. Some creative person and her team of elves decorated our church lobby area beautifully. They even set up a little area where people could take pictures of their family...they made a beautiful backdrop of frames that hung from the ceiling. We didn't have our family's picture made and I regret it. I took a picture of Clark and Faith...and one of Aaron and Holly, tho.

Speaking of Holly, she had to be at church by 7 a.m. because she was on Praise Team. I got there around 7:15. for choir. We had 3 morning services, and the Praise Team and choir sang for all three. It.was.awesome!

I loved all of the music we did...and the sermon was great. We don't have a senior pastor right now, but you sure haven't been able to tell it by our attendance...which makes me so happy. A church should never be about any man...it should always be about Christ. We've had a man named Greg Addison preaching off and on for the past couple of months. He is "on loan" from the Arkansas Baptist State Convention, and he is doing a great job of bringing the Word, and providing consistency in the life of our church.

So, on Saturday night, I had gotten everything ready for Sunday lunch. I had boiled the eggs for deviled eggs. I made a hash-brown casserole. I made a green bean dish. I bought a ham, and got it all prepared.

Jim and Joshua went to the early service at 8 a.m. I didn't get home until 12:30, but he had everything pretty much ready when I got here. I didn't invite Holly and Aaron over for lunch, because there's not one thing I made that Aaron would eat. Except...maybe a roll. But Holly called and they wanted to come over and eat. They went by and picked up chicken for Aaron, and then came over. It was great to have them here.

They even stayed for a couple of hours after lunch. Everyone fell out in different chairs/couches and crashed.

I love holidays...all of the special days that go on during the year. I just love any day that we can make special for someone else, don't you?

I love, love, LOVE Christmas...everything about it. I mainly love the fact that, for our family, it's a celebration of the birth of Jesus. And Easter just continues the story. Without Jesus' birth, there would be no Easter. Easter is about Jesus dying on the cross for my sins, and yours...but it's also about that He rose again to life on the 3rd day! He defeated sin and satan, and He provided a way for us to live forever in Heaven with Him.

All I could think of all day was how undeserving I am of His great sacrifice, and His great love.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" 1 John 3:1

When A Friend Is Hurting

It wasn't the first time I'd thought of it...but it was the first time I'd really PONDERED it.

Because there are just some things in life that hit me to my core...things that seem to affect me in a deeper way; things that don't involve me or my family, necessarily; things that I can't just pray over and let go.

Like our young friends who were told, half-way in their pregnancy, that their baby would not survive after birth. He would not be "compatible with life" outside of her womb. These precious friends chose to continue that pregnancy, and that decision brought our entire church together in corporate prayer and fasting for the baby they were determined to love. 

Our family...we prayed for them. We loved them. We did our best to minister to them. They were on my heart most of the day, every day, for 4 months. I couldn't let this go. God began to knit my heart to theirs.

That precious baby boy...despite the prayers and pleading and fasting by multitudes on his behalf...did not survive. He completed his purpose here on Earth, and, after taking one breath, was whisked to Heaven in the arms of Jesus.

As long as I live, I will never forget him.

And his family? They are a part of me. Now and forever.

There's this other family at our church that's having all kinds of struggles with one of their daughters. She started off completely healthy and "normal" (whatever that is), and has quickly and severely regressed in every area. They are desperate to find out what is wrong...to find treatment or medication that can help her. The mom is tireless in her pursuit for answers, and they have flown all over the country and have seen several specialists, just trying to narrow down a diagnosis. 

I don't know why I connect with some things more than others, but by now...I can usually recognize when something is going to affect me in that way. And this has. My heart is tender toward this family...and I cannot let it go.

And so I pray. And I encourage. And I try to minister however the Lord leads. 

It doesn't change the out-come. I'm not a physician. I don't have magical powers. I cannot heal.

I just feel that the world would be a better place if we would all just invest in the lives of the ones around us...you know, get involved in their lives...help them in hard times...encourage them when things feel dark...hold up their arms, so to speak.

We have had SO MANY people minister to our family over the years. When Joshua was born and surprised us all with his diagnosis of Down Syndrome, our friends were there to let us know it was gonna be okay. They included us, prayed for us, cried with us, laughed with us, sat with us, walked with us, motivated us, fed us, encouraged us. Time after time after time they were the hands and feet of Jesus, reminding us that we were loved and cherished; showing us that we were not in this alone.

Did all of that change anything?

Well, Joshua still has Down Syndrome, just in case you were wondering! (wink!) That hasn't changed. But the ways that our friends showed us the love of God...changed EVERYTHING about how we coped day-to-day back then...and how we have lived day-to-day since then.

And 10 years and 2 more kids after Joshua was born...we were faced with yet another serious situation when I was pregnant with our 4th child, Clark. That kid tried to get out from the moment he got in. Not even kidding. And when I delivered him unexpectedly 12 1/2 weeks prematurely, our friends were there for us. Again. Praying for us, of course, but physically meeting our needs...watching our other kids, bringing us food, sending cards, calling to check on us...our mailman bringing our mail to our door. Day after day after day of the 7 1/2 weeks Clark was in the NICU. 

And not even 2 years later, Clark was diagnosed with cancer. Again, the feeling of being hit right square in my stomach was there. Cancer? Are you kidding, God? We already have a lot going on with Joshua, and now this precious baby...who fought so hard to get here and stay here...we might lose him? I couldn't breathe.

Again, our friends and family were there, never leaving our sides. If I had a thousand lifetimes, I could never repay what they did for us.

They showed us Christ.

They gave us hope.

Until recently, I never really thought about how it felt to be them. 

I always kind of thought that maybe they felt a sense of relief...you know, that it wasn't happening to them; that it wasn't THEIR child who had special needs; it wasn't THEIR child who had cancer. I always thought it might've made them hug their child longer...love them deeper. I don't know.

It wasn't until recently that I began to put things together in my mind. The reason why I felt more connected to certain people and circumstances than to others. Why I couldn't just "shake it off." Why I take on some of the burden with some people...and not so much with others.

I think it has to do with our personal experiences.

I've always heard that God doesn't waste an experience. I believe it.

Maybe I should jump in and help with every situation. Maybe we all should. I don't know.

Well, I kind of do know. The kind of investing-in-people that I'm talking about...it takes time. It is intentional. It is uncomfortable. It is messy. I don't think we can fully minister in this way for more than 1 or 2 people at a a time. 

All I know is that with the two situations I talked about, I didn't feel relief...that it wasn't happening to me. I felt...sad. And burdened. And, like I wanted to do anything to make their situation easier. And it made me wonder if our friends felt the same way about us...back in the day.

At the time, I was too wrapped up with what was going on with us...with Joshua, and then with Clark...to really think about or wonder what was going on in their minds...how they might be hurting, too; how helpless they might have felt; how much they wanted to help;

How they would've loved to take away some of our hurt...if only they could.

This post is kind of all over the place. I don't know that I can put a bow on it and tie up all the loose ends. Just...if you are in a hard place, know that you are not alone. God is there with you, of course...lean on Him. But also, there are some who will come beside you and share your burden, if you will let them.

They are hurting, too. For YOU.

It's hard to open up and share your heart when you are in the middle of a trial. If you're like me, it just took so much energy...and TIME. Energy and time I felt like I didn't have, because it took everything I had to just focus on my child or my loss or my family. But, people want to help...they really do. Many people will offer to pray for you, but some people want to do more. And just how God will use them to minister to you, He will use YOU to minister to them...when you allow them to step into your mess. Whatever it is.

Just yesterday, my friend, Audra, found out that the baby she is carrying in her womb...has died. This hit close to home in many ways, and my heart aches for her. This young mom? She and my daughter were friends in high school...and her mom was one of the people I'm talking about in this post. During Clark's premature birth, his hospital stay, his cancer diagnosis, surgery and chemo...she prayed for us, she cooked for us, and she encouraged me. DAILY. I don't know how I would've made it without her.

And sweet Audra got up this morning and wrote a post on her blog about the loss her family is facing, and it's beautiful and tender. If you've had a miscarriage or know someone who has, send them this link.

She is hurting, but she is also determined to trust God in this situation, and praise Him publicly.

God can use our most painful experiences for His glory and our good...even tho we can't always see or understand it at the time.

Soli Deo Gloria...to God alone be the glory.

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:4

Nobody's Cuter Than You!

I love my Lifeway store, I do...but this morning, it was on the struggle bus.

I have been patiently waiting for Melanie Shankle's new book, "Nobody's Cuter Than You," to come out. I have been going by Lifeway every.single.time I'm in Little Rock...which is typically 3 times a week...just to check and see if it was on the shelves.

And, yes...I know that today (April 7) was the official release date, but my Lifeway put Sophie Hudson's latest book, "Home Is Where My People Are," on the shelves 2 weeks early. When I saw it, I did the happy dance in the middle of the store that day, and one of the nice gentlemen who works there said, "wow! You're excited!" And I said, "well, this book wasn't supposed to release for two more weeks," and he said, "it WASN'T?"

Which, there's a whole 'nother story there about how I bought several copies of the book, and then took all of the remaining copies...and lined them up on the top shelf. Alllll across the top shelf.

I felt a little bad for the other authors whose books I covered, but...hey...they'd had their moment, and I wanted Sophie to have hers.

And, you know, that 30-day restraining order Lifeway gave me went by really fast.

I'M KIDDING.

So all of that made me think that they might release Melanie's book early, but they didn't.

My Lifeway opens at 10, and I was there this morning at 10:05. I would've been there right on time, but traffic was stopped bumper-to-bumper at the bean fields.

(you have to live in central Arkansas to know what I'm talking about) (it's a nightmare almost every day)

But I busted through the doors of Lifeway (not literally), and headed to the section that contained Melanie's other books to get "Nobody's Cuter Than You."

IT WAS NOT THERE.

AREYOUKIDDINGME?

So I went to pay for my "Seamless" Bible Study book (Angie Smith), and the checker-outer-lady said, "did you find everything you were looking for?" And I said, "no ma'am, I did not."

I told her what I was looking for and she typed it into the computer.

She said, "hmmmm...today is the release day."
And I said, "well, duh I know."
She said, "I don't know where it could be?"
And I said, "IN A BOX IN THE BACK, maybe?"
She said, "let me look," and she took off.

I would like to report that, in about 1 minute, there were no less than 3 Lifeway employees scouring the store for this book.

And, about this, I would like to say, "WHY?" Because, seriously...why not put her books in the "Women" section? Or the "new release" section? I don't get it. When I asked about this, one of the lady employees said, "well, we have to put them where the COMPUTER tells us to put them...so that we'll be able to find them."

And I may or may not have slow-blinked her in my mind, because THERE ARE NOW 4, count 'em...FOUR...employees looking for this book.

Bad computer...bad, bad computer.

Another employee asked what everyone was looking for, and we told her. She said, "Oh! Is that the lady who has all of the cute covers on her books?" 

And I said, "yes, yes it is."

And, I KID YOU NOT, they started pulling the books from all over the store. One lady shouted, "I'VE GOT THREE!" One man said, "I found one!" Another man said, "here are two more!"

I bought them all. 

Because, honestly? I don't have the energy to go back in there anytime soon.

But I saw where Melanie said she bought a copy of her own book today at her Wal-Mart. Truth be told, Wal-Mart is kind of like my mother-ship...so I'll be checking that out.

And, at this point, I'd like to say, for full disclosure, I don't know any of these people. I just stalk read their blogs and I love their writing. Each of them...hilarious, tender, and heart-warming. And when I like something...I like something. I think you should check out their blogs AND their books! :)

In other news, I've already given away 2 of my 6 copies to friends! So excited to give away the other 4 copies!

Friends are just the best!

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Proverbs 27:9

Joshua's Advice to a New Parent

So, this girl that Holly went to college with at Ouachita...had a precious baby boy last week. It wasn't long before some of my friends were texting me about it, wondering if I'd heard. OBU is a small college, so it's easy to keep in contact with people after graduation...if you want to. This girl was in Holly's same sorority (social club), and Holly pledged under her.

The reason why people were contacting me about this girl was...her baby has Down Syndrome.

I remember this girl, and I knew she was pregnant again. I had not heard she'd had the baby, or anything about it. Bless their hearts!

As an older mom looking back, I wanted to tell my friend, "Oh, how WONDERFUL for them!" But, I know some of the struggles that are ahead. These young parents are not in the same place I am now...because, with age comes a lot of perspective.

Oh, people sometimes call it "wisdom," but I call it "TIME." 

And "learning from my mistakes." 

And, "learning to see the big picture."

These young ones? Well, I'm sure they are feeling many emotions.

I thought about it for a while. Things are more different now than even just 29 years ago, when I had Joshua. There seems to be more knowledge...more acceptance of...more services for...kids with DS. I hope that's the case, anyway. I told Holly, and the friend who texted me, that I would be more than happy to visit with the family at any time...when THEY'RE ready.

I warmed up some "re-runs" for Joshua's lunch. That's what he calls, "left-overs." I decided to see what he would have to say about the situation with Holly's friend, and I tried to prepare myself for anything he might say. I wanted him to say his honest opinions.

I didn't know if he would say, like one of his friends did, that he wished he didn't have Down Syndrome. He already told me that the main thing he's looking forward to when he gets to Heaven is: "no moles (don't know what brought that on) and no Downs." I didn't know if he would talk about feeling left-out, like when his 4th grade teacher had the names of all of his classmates on their desks, but didn't have a desk for him. Or if he would remember about the kids at school who told him he "had a messed-up brain." I didn't know if he would want to talk about the things he didn't get to do, like drive a car or go to college.

You have to be so careful with Joshua, because he is easily influenced if he thinks you want him to say a certain thing. So, no "leading" questions...no trying to fill in the blanks for him...no, assuming what he might be trying to say.

I said, "hey, Joshua...a friend of Holly's just had a brand-new baby boy...and he has Down Syndrome like you!"

He said, "oh, WOW!"

I said, "what do you think about that?"

He said, "that's a pretty good kid if he came out like that."

I asked him if he had any advice for the new parents and he said, "what advice did you get when you had me?" I told him how my friend, Karen Alexander (Doyel), came over to visit after we brought him home from the hospital...about how she sat on our couch and held him while we talked. She told me, "just love him."

And how I thought, "well, that's EASY! Look how cute he is!"

(Joshua just grinned and grinned when I said that part)

Joshua said, "I'll go with that, too. Love him. And train him up to be a man of God."

And then he started quoting Scripture after Scripture at me, and I could not EVEN keep up. I had been trying to discretely type his answers on my cell phone without him knowing what I was doing. OH MY GOODNESS, my boy knows his Bible!

He said that the book of James says that trials will come, and that Joshua 1:9 says to be "strong and courageous." These are the two passages that I remember.

Basically, he said for them to train their baby boy to have the faith of Joshua-from-the-Bible, and to be a leader for his generation.

He ended his sermon talk with these words: "I turned out okay, and he will, too."

He is so precious.

Holly sent her friend a message last week, and showed me the response she got. Her friend told Holly that her kind words and encouragement meant so much. Now, I have no idea what Holly said, but I'm sure it could not have been more honest and sincere than, "my brother said he turned out okay...and your baby will, too."

"For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made...Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began." (Psalm 139: 13-14, 16)