We had a great Sunday at church last week. Great message from the Word...great music from our worship team.
Our choir sang, “Lay It All Down,” a song that talks about bringing all of our worries, doubts, and cares to Jesus...and laying them at His feet.
We all have things that are heavy on our hearts, right?
“Bring your worry, grief and pain, every cause you have for shame...lay it all down, lay it all down.”
This morning, in another church in our state, our youngest son, Clark, was teaching on the difference between happiness and joy.
“When your cares have buried you, and there's nothing left to do...lay it all down, lay it all down, at the feet of Jesus, at the feet of Jesus.”
I don’t know Clark’s talking points, but, in my experience, it seems like happiness depends a lot on our circumstances...whether or not our life is good, our family is good, our health is good, our finances are good; and JOY, to me, is more of an inward resolve...a peace, a choice to trust God no matter what is going on in my life.
“Carried on, but your heart was tired; feared the worst, and felt the fire...lay it all down, lay it all down.”
Is that always easy? Nope.
Thirty-three years ago, I gave birth to a -chromosomally-enhanced" child. All that has come with that has not always been “happy,” but God has given me great joy.
GREAT JOY.
And great peace.
Having our 4th child (Clark) so very prematurely...then getting his cancer diagnosis...none of that was “happy.”
“Filled with all those anxious thoughts, all your doubts became your god...lay it all down, lay it all down, at the feet of Jesus.”
I was able to have joy in the middle of these difficult circumstances, because of the very real presence of God, the gift of supportive friends, and the power of prayer, offered from an amazing community on our behalf.
“When we've given up on better days, there are memories we can't erase...lay it all down, lay it all down.”
I’ve had my weak moments...don’t get me wrong. Losing my Mom, my Dad’s Parkinson’s diagnosis, burdens I have for family and friends...if I’m not careful, these things can quickly steal my joy. But when things come up, I try...I TRY...to “lay it all down.”
More times than I’d like to admit, I pick it all back up again, and try to carry it all on my own.
Don’t be like me. Lay it ALL down, and LEAVE IT with Jesus.
“We've come to fear what we can't explain, there's nothing here that can ease the pain...lay it all down, lay it all down...at the feet of Jesus.”
I had great joy today. That tiny, tiny baby of mine...that so sick-with-cancer toddler...by the grace and power and provision of God, was standing strong this morning, teaching from God’s word.
I pray that the name of Jesus was high and lifted up. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
"The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" Psalm 126:3
...finding joy in the UPside of DOWN...
Saturday, September 7, 2019
Saturday, July 13, 2019
A Good, Good Father (Who is Watching YOU?)
Been thinking a lot about my Dad, and the example he has set for me and my siblings.
He's not perfect, and neither are we...and so I know there had to have been times when he was frustrated, upset, sad, and disappointed with us. Or just with the things that can happen in life.
It's funny, tho, because all I remember getting from him my whole life is unconditional love and support...his strong and quiet spirit, the humble way he lived his life, the kindness he showed to us and to others.
So much kindness.
It got me thinking about all the fathers, and the "father figures" in our lives...as well as all the mothers...of the examples we set, and the legacies we leave, and the importance of recognizing that someone is always watching: a child, teacher, co-worker, friend, parent...and strangers.
Even tho three of ours are out-of-our-home, we still want to be an example for them. We don't want them to question our commitment to God, each other, our family...or to the values we've tried to teach and model for them.
Sadly, there have been many times when we were probably more of an example of what NOT to do. Joshua said that Jim and I "go at it" every Sunday morning, on the way to church (I'll post that video later).
Now we have a little one (and two more coming behind him) who watches our every move; a little one who will follow us anywhere, and do whatever we do.
When I climbed a step-ladder to reach the top of the Christmas tree, he did, too...right behind me...unaware of any possible danger. All he knew was that I was up there, and he wanted to "crime up," too. He wants to walk in the street and get in the pool and open doors that are locked to keep him safe...because he's a curious little boy, and because he's watched us do these things.
There are precepts and values and information we desperately want to teach our children, grandchildren...or other children in our lives...but what we SAY has to match up with how we ACT, and what we DO. Right? Because kids are smart, and they can spot fake in a New York minute. They can tell by our actions what things are important to us.
In college, I majored in Sociology and Psychology. I had no idea what I would do with that major after graduation. But, watching people, and studying their behavior, has always been so interesting to me. What's scary is that there are people out there watching and studying ME.
Don't laugh. They are studying and watching YOU, too.
This should fill us with a deep sense ofdread responsibility. I don't know about you, but I don't want anyone to base what they do or think or say by how I am observed on my worst day.
I mean, right? We all have those days.
Because, as much as I want to set a good example for my children and grandchildren, I'm flawed, and I'm going to continue to mess up. A LOT.
How do imperfect people ever hope to teach or model any of the goodness of a perfect God?
Spoiler: we can't. Dads, on this Father's Day, and Moms...in our own strength, we can't.
“...My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
This is what we need to tell our children..."I'm weak...HE is strong; I can't...HE can; I fall...HE lifts up; I sin...HE forgives."
And this is why we must remind ourselves, and our children, not to measure our "goodness" against the "goodness" of someone else.
GOD is our "plumb-line." HE is the standard. HE is the good. HE has set right and wrong, and we cannot change it to fit our circumstances , or the culture of the world.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
He's not perfect, and neither are we...and so I know there had to have been times when he was frustrated, upset, sad, and disappointed with us. Or just with the things that can happen in life.
It's funny, tho, because all I remember getting from him my whole life is unconditional love and support...his strong and quiet spirit, the humble way he lived his life, the kindness he showed to us and to others.
So much kindness.
It got me thinking about all the fathers, and the "father figures" in our lives...as well as all the mothers...of the examples we set, and the legacies we leave, and the importance of recognizing that someone is always watching: a child, teacher, co-worker, friend, parent...and strangers.
Even tho three of ours are out-of-our-home, we still want to be an example for them. We don't want them to question our commitment to God, each other, our family...or to the values we've tried to teach and model for them.
Sadly, there have been many times when we were probably more of an example of what NOT to do. Joshua said that Jim and I "go at it" every Sunday morning, on the way to church (I'll post that video later).
Now we have a little one (and two more coming behind him) who watches our every move; a little one who will follow us anywhere, and do whatever we do.
When I climbed a step-ladder to reach the top of the Christmas tree, he did, too...right behind me...unaware of any possible danger. All he knew was that I was up there, and he wanted to "crime up," too. He wants to walk in the street and get in the pool and open doors that are locked to keep him safe...because he's a curious little boy, and because he's watched us do these things.
There are precepts and values and information we desperately want to teach our children, grandchildren...or other children in our lives...but what we SAY has to match up with how we ACT, and what we DO. Right? Because kids are smart, and they can spot fake in a New York minute. They can tell by our actions what things are important to us.
In college, I majored in Sociology and Psychology. I had no idea what I would do with that major after graduation. But, watching people, and studying their behavior, has always been so interesting to me. What's scary is that there are people out there watching and studying ME.
Don't laugh. They are studying and watching YOU, too.
This should fill us with a deep sense of
I mean, right? We all have those days.
Because, as much as I want to set a good example for my children and grandchildren, I'm flawed, and I'm going to continue to mess up. A LOT.
How do imperfect people ever hope to teach or model any of the goodness of a perfect God?
Spoiler: we can't. Dads, on this Father's Day, and Moms...in our own strength, we can't.
“...My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
This is what we need to tell our children..."I'm weak...HE is strong; I can't...HE can; I fall...HE lifts up; I sin...HE forgives."
And this is why we must remind ourselves, and our children, not to measure our "goodness" against the "goodness" of someone else.
GOD is our "plumb-line." HE is the standard. HE is the good. HE has set right and wrong, and we cannot change it to fit our circumstances , or the culture of the world.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
What Makes a Fire?
The other day, I watched and listened as a friend shared her secret for making the perfect fire in her fireplace. She showed how she stacked 3 pieces of wood along the bottom. Then she stacked 2 pieces of wood on top of those, in the opposite direction. Then she stacked 2 more pieces of wood on top of those.
When she lit it, she said it made the best and prettiest fire.
She shared that, during the day, as the fire burned down, she would continue to add wood to it...across and down.
The caption on her picture was, "how I build my fire," but in my mind, when I read it, I heard it to the tune of "this is how I fight my battles." Have y'all heard the song, "Surrounded," by Michael W. Smith?
Some of the lyrics are: "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You. This is how I fight my battles..."
So I started singing, "this is how I build my fy-yah...this is how I build my fy-yah."
I know, I'm weird.
And then I started singing, "It may look like I'm on fire, but I'm on fire for You."
Catchy, right?
I started thinking about how to build a good fire...and then I started wondering, "what things do I need to have or do in my life, in order to build a good and lasting fire for the Lord?"
What is the foundation of the fire in my life? My salvation? Yes. The Holy Spirit? Yes.
But how do I keep that fire burning?
Reading my Bible? Yes. Getting into God's Word is a major way I fuel my fire for the Lord. When I am not disciplined or diligent about reading and studying God's Word, I feel unfocused. Sluggish. Joyless. Start to finish...I believe the Bible. The Bible tells us that God's Word is alive. "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires." (Hebrews 4:12) When I read it, I feel His words come alive in my heart! God's Word gives me comfort, strength, direction, encouragement, peace. His words also convict and reprove me at times.
Prayer is another big way I can fuel my fire for the Lord. Prayer is not me listing all the things I want God to do for me...like a list for Santa to fill. No! Prayer is a conversation between me and God. I confess my sins. I also pray for my needs, and the needs of others around me. And I ask God for direction and discernment in my daily life.
Praise is another way I fuel my fire for the Lord. In my prayer time, I try to spend time praising God for who He is. And I praise Him for the things He has done or is doing in my life. Or in the lives of others. I love music, and I love to sing, so that's another way I can praise the Lord. I don't sing well, but I sing all.the.time. in our home.
Being thankful is another piece of the wood on my fire. Sometimes life is just hard, amiright? We try to do the right things and live the right way...but still there are hard times. Believers are not immune from hardship and suffering. But I've found that if I just start thanking God for everything...for waking up, for a safe place to live, for a car to drive, for the ability to pay bills, and put gas in the car, for a close parking spot on a rainy day, for my church, for friends who call or text encouragement, for thinking I was out of cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning...but finding that lassssssssst can in the back behind the juice. Being thankful might not change my circumstances, but it changes the way I LOOK at my circumstances.
I mean, none of us really have to look too far to find things to be thankful for...we just need to make it a habit in our lives to be grateful.
There are other things that keep my fire for the Lord burning bright.
Going to church. I get refueled each week, as I sing and listen and serve at my local church. Friends and family...they can be the best at encouraging me on my walk with Christ. Lunch with a friend. Going to a women's conference. Attending a Bible Study. Even writing, like I'm doing now...keeping a journal of our lives, and chronicling God's faithfulness over the years...helps me to see all the places where His hand has held us.
Build your fire from the cornerstones and disciplines of your faith. Don't let it go out! Keep stacking...reading, prayer, Bible Study, praise, thanksgiving...REPEAT.
And don't just tend to your OWN fire...be the person who encourages someone else to, as the group "Point of Grace" used to sing, "keep the fire burning."
Okay, I just looked it up, and their lyrics are "keep the candle burning," BUT BASICALLY THE SAME THING.
"not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:25
When she lit it, she said it made the best and prettiest fire.
She shared that, during the day, as the fire burned down, she would continue to add wood to it...across and down.
The caption on her picture was, "how I build my fire," but in my mind, when I read it, I heard it to the tune of "this is how I fight my battles." Have y'all heard the song, "Surrounded," by Michael W. Smith?
Some of the lyrics are: "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You. This is how I fight my battles..."
So I started singing, "this is how I build my fy-yah...this is how I build my fy-yah."
I know, I'm weird.
And then I started singing, "It may look like I'm on fire, but I'm on fire for You."
Catchy, right?
I started thinking about how to build a good fire...and then I started wondering, "what things do I need to have or do in my life, in order to build a good and lasting fire for the Lord?"
What is the foundation of the fire in my life? My salvation? Yes. The Holy Spirit? Yes.
But how do I keep that fire burning?
Reading my Bible? Yes. Getting into God's Word is a major way I fuel my fire for the Lord. When I am not disciplined or diligent about reading and studying God's Word, I feel unfocused. Sluggish. Joyless. Start to finish...I believe the Bible. The Bible tells us that God's Word is alive. "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires." (Hebrews 4:12) When I read it, I feel His words come alive in my heart! God's Word gives me comfort, strength, direction, encouragement, peace. His words also convict and reprove me at times.
Prayer is another big way I can fuel my fire for the Lord. Prayer is not me listing all the things I want God to do for me...like a list for Santa to fill. No! Prayer is a conversation between me and God. I confess my sins. I also pray for my needs, and the needs of others around me. And I ask God for direction and discernment in my daily life.
Praise is another way I fuel my fire for the Lord. In my prayer time, I try to spend time praising God for who He is. And I praise Him for the things He has done or is doing in my life. Or in the lives of others. I love music, and I love to sing, so that's another way I can praise the Lord. I don't sing well, but I sing all.the.time. in our home.
Being thankful is another piece of the wood on my fire. Sometimes life is just hard, amiright? We try to do the right things and live the right way...but still there are hard times. Believers are not immune from hardship and suffering. But I've found that if I just start thanking God for everything...for waking up, for a safe place to live, for a car to drive, for the ability to pay bills, and put gas in the car, for a close parking spot on a rainy day, for my church, for friends who call or text encouragement, for thinking I was out of cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning...but finding that lassssssssst can in the back behind the juice. Being thankful might not change my circumstances, but it changes the way I LOOK at my circumstances.
I mean, none of us really have to look too far to find things to be thankful for...we just need to make it a habit in our lives to be grateful.
There are other things that keep my fire for the Lord burning bright.
Going to church. I get refueled each week, as I sing and listen and serve at my local church. Friends and family...they can be the best at encouraging me on my walk with Christ. Lunch with a friend. Going to a women's conference. Attending a Bible Study. Even writing, like I'm doing now...keeping a journal of our lives, and chronicling God's faithfulness over the years...helps me to see all the places where His hand has held us.
Build your fire from the cornerstones and disciplines of your faith. Don't let it go out! Keep stacking...reading, prayer, Bible Study, praise, thanksgiving...REPEAT.
And don't just tend to your OWN fire...be the person who encourages someone else to, as the group "Point of Grace" used to sing, "keep the fire burning."
Okay, I just looked it up, and their lyrics are "keep the candle burning," BUT BASICALLY THE SAME THING.
"not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:25
Monday, April 15, 2019
The Time I Laid My Bible Down
It was a long time ago.
I was overwhelmed.
I was weary.
I got distracted.
And, even tho I believed that my relationship with Jesus was the most important thing in the world to me...and even tho I told others of His great love and mercy and forgiveness, of the peace He has provided in every situation (when I've asked for it)...and even tho I believed in and trusted His promises, and believed that reading His word was essential in my every day life...I laid my Bible down.
Oh, it wasn't a conscious decision. There wasn't a certain day that I remember doing it...but it happened none-the-less.
And all of a sudden, I wasn't picking up my Bible first thing in the morning...or last thing at night. I wasn't studying it, savoring the words, looking for answers and direction and wisdom and discernment.
If you had asked me, I would've told you that I believe with all my heart that it is the SOURCE of all of those things, and more.
Was I a fake?
A liar?
I don't know.
What I DO know is that I was a poor representation of Christ...because it's not what you are when you are out in front...up on a stage...teaching a class...singing a song...that matters.
No, it's what you are behind closed doors that reflects the true intentions and desires of your heart.
It's super easy to do the comparison thing, and make yourself sound and look better than you are. We look at others, and think that because we haven't traveled down that particular road of bad choices...we are okay. Better than that.
Better than THEM.
But that's because we have taken our eyes off the actual plumb line, which is Jesus and His Word...and we start looking to others to judge our worth, or justify our behavior, as a follower of God. And then we kind of mentally "rank" ourselves against them.
Truth be told, I've found that it's more common than not to go through these "seasons."
NOTE: "Common" does not equal "RIGHT."
It is not right.
In fact, I'll go a step further to say that I believe it's sin.
There was that one day...where I was too tired, too spent, to pick up my Bible. And the next day...and the next day...and the next day.
I felt bad about it at first...but even that dulled as the days and weeks went by.
And then, do you know what ELSE I laid down? My prayer life.
MY PRAYER LIFE.
My very life-line to the Father, and the path to intercession for myself and others that is so precious to me.
Oh, I kept praying at meal-time...I'm not a communist or anything. It wasn't like I completely stopped praying. It was just very sporadic, and not intentional or consistent at all.
At the time, we were dealing with a very sick child. My prayers were mostly those "arrow" prayers, shot up to God in desperation: "please heal my boy...and give me strength if You don't." By laying down my Bible, and a consistent prayer life, I had cut off the very Source of the power and strength I needed...the power and strength I was begging God to give me.
But this is how the devil works, ladies (and gentlemen). He gets you when you're down. When you are physically exhausted from taking care of kids and home and work and life. He gets you when you are emotionally exhausted from the sadness we see on the daily...the stories on the news, the reality of how hard life is for some people...or maybe for yourself; the political unrest that is all around us; the feeling of sadness you have when your dreams don't come true...or when your prayers seem to go unanswered; and social media...oh my word, don't even get me started with the people who have it all, who are doing well...their picture-perfect lives on display in little squares for all to see.
And then there are the people who are suffering. Those stories get me right in the heart. There were days when I couldn't shake the feeling of sadness...for the circumstances of others. So much hurt and suffering and loss in the lives of family, friends, and even strangers. It can be O.VER.WHEL.MING.
If this has happened to you, no judgment here. None at all.
How do you get back on track?
First, make sure you are doing okay health-wise. Are you depressed? Is your diet affecting your mood? Have you experienced any significant changes in your life, like a move or a new job or a new baby? Or maybe your "baby" just left for college. Are you caring for a child with special needs, or an aging parent (their needs are specific to their individual situations, and can affect a care-giver in many ways). I think it's important to try and see what is going on around you...so that you can maybe make some changes, if necessary. Or go see a doctor, if necessary.
Secondly, look inward. Do you have unconfessed sin? Confess it to God. Any bitterness? Confess that, too. Are you fearful or anxious over something? Don't push these things under the rug...deal with them. Get professional help if you need it. Talk to a friend or a mentor or someone you trust.
Third, PRAY...and seek God's help. Actually, you should probably pray before, during, and after this whole process. Can't pray enough, amiright? In fact, I think it's so important to pray for others. Because maybe they were like me...and they didn't know how or what to pray. Maybe they were in such a hard place, they couldn't get the words out. You never know how God will use your prayers to carry someone through a difficult time.
And fourth, do the next right thing. Pick up your Bible. Make yourself do it, if you have to. Start reading in Psalms, or Proverbs, or the book of John. Force yourself to concentrate. Take notes. Pray and ask God to speak to you. I promise, He will.
He will meet you right where you are. Like the story of the prodigal son who returns to his home, He is waiting.
Jesus is waiting.
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words." Romans 8:26
I was overwhelmed.
I was weary.
I got distracted.
And, even tho I believed that my relationship with Jesus was the most important thing in the world to me...and even tho I told others of His great love and mercy and forgiveness, of the peace He has provided in every situation (when I've asked for it)...and even tho I believed in and trusted His promises, and believed that reading His word was essential in my every day life...I laid my Bible down.
Oh, it wasn't a conscious decision. There wasn't a certain day that I remember doing it...but it happened none-the-less.
And all of a sudden, I wasn't picking up my Bible first thing in the morning...or last thing at night. I wasn't studying it, savoring the words, looking for answers and direction and wisdom and discernment.
If you had asked me, I would've told you that I believe with all my heart that it is the SOURCE of all of those things, and more.
Was I a fake?
A liar?
I don't know.
What I DO know is that I was a poor representation of Christ...because it's not what you are when you are out in front...up on a stage...teaching a class...singing a song...that matters.
No, it's what you are behind closed doors that reflects the true intentions and desires of your heart.
It's super easy to do the comparison thing, and make yourself sound and look better than you are. We look at others, and think that because we haven't traveled down that particular road of bad choices...we are okay. Better than that.
Better than THEM.
But that's because we have taken our eyes off the actual plumb line, which is Jesus and His Word...and we start looking to others to judge our worth, or justify our behavior, as a follower of God. And then we kind of mentally "rank" ourselves against them.
Truth be told, I've found that it's more common than not to go through these "seasons."
NOTE: "Common" does not equal "RIGHT."
It is not right.
In fact, I'll go a step further to say that I believe it's sin.
There was that one day...where I was too tired, too spent, to pick up my Bible. And the next day...and the next day...and the next day.
I felt bad about it at first...but even that dulled as the days and weeks went by.
And then, do you know what ELSE I laid down? My prayer life.
MY PRAYER LIFE.
My very life-line to the Father, and the path to intercession for myself and others that is so precious to me.
Oh, I kept praying at meal-time...I'm not a communist or anything. It wasn't like I completely stopped praying. It was just very sporadic, and not intentional or consistent at all.
At the time, we were dealing with a very sick child. My prayers were mostly those "arrow" prayers, shot up to God in desperation: "please heal my boy...and give me strength if You don't." By laying down my Bible, and a consistent prayer life, I had cut off the very Source of the power and strength I needed...the power and strength I was begging God to give me.
But this is how the devil works, ladies (and gentlemen). He gets you when you're down. When you are physically exhausted from taking care of kids and home and work and life. He gets you when you are emotionally exhausted from the sadness we see on the daily...the stories on the news, the reality of how hard life is for some people...or maybe for yourself; the political unrest that is all around us; the feeling of sadness you have when your dreams don't come true...or when your prayers seem to go unanswered; and social media...oh my word, don't even get me started with the people who have it all, who are doing well...their picture-perfect lives on display in little squares for all to see.
And then there are the people who are suffering. Those stories get me right in the heart. There were days when I couldn't shake the feeling of sadness...for the circumstances of others. So much hurt and suffering and loss in the lives of family, friends, and even strangers. It can be O.VER.WHEL.MING.
If this has happened to you, no judgment here. None at all.
How do you get back on track?
First, make sure you are doing okay health-wise. Are you depressed? Is your diet affecting your mood? Have you experienced any significant changes in your life, like a move or a new job or a new baby? Or maybe your "baby" just left for college. Are you caring for a child with special needs, or an aging parent (their needs are specific to their individual situations, and can affect a care-giver in many ways). I think it's important to try and see what is going on around you...so that you can maybe make some changes, if necessary. Or go see a doctor, if necessary.
Secondly, look inward. Do you have unconfessed sin? Confess it to God. Any bitterness? Confess that, too. Are you fearful or anxious over something? Don't push these things under the rug...deal with them. Get professional help if you need it. Talk to a friend or a mentor or someone you trust.
Third, PRAY...and seek God's help. Actually, you should probably pray before, during, and after this whole process. Can't pray enough, amiright? In fact, I think it's so important to pray for others. Because maybe they were like me...and they didn't know how or what to pray. Maybe they were in such a hard place, they couldn't get the words out. You never know how God will use your prayers to carry someone through a difficult time.
He will meet you right where you are. Like the story of the prodigal son who returns to his home, He is waiting.
Jesus is waiting.
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words." Romans 8:26
Monday, April 8, 2019
Logan's Big Test & Praying For Our Children
Back in October, on a Monday afternoon, Logan and Morgan came here to spend the night before Logan's big test (Occupational Therapy Boards). His test was going to be in Little Rock, and our house is closer to LR than theirs.
Logan was up at 5 on Tuesday morning...making coffee, and trying to settle his spirit. He was very patient as Morgan and I tried to fuss over him...wanting to make him breakfast, encouraging him to take snacks.
And then he was gone.
He left way too early, in my opinion, but he wanted to avoid the early-morning work traffic.
Two hours later, I was the one heading into Little Rock...taking Joshua to his Therapeutic Recreation.
And then, even though I had been praying for over 2 months for Logan, as he prepared and studied for this test; and even though I prayed for him as he left the house that morning; and even tho I was STILL praying for him, as he was taking this 5 hour test...on my way back home, I put on my blinker, and I took an exit.
I found the testing center, and I rolled my little self up in the parking lot.
It didn't take me long to find Logan's car. It was about the 4th one from the door. That made me giggle. Yep...I think he got there plenty early!
Logan was already inside, starting on his 2nd hour of a 5 hour test. I pulled my car up in front of his car, and stopped.
And I began to pray.
Why did I feel the need to physically go to where my child...my ADULT child was...to be as close as possible to the situation? I mean, surely my prayers from home were just as "heard" and just as effective...right?
And to be clear, the outcome of this day (or any day) was never up to me.
But prayer is powerful, y'all. It might not change your circumstances, but it for sure changes your perspective. I am a huge believer in the power and importance of prayer. I pray for others besides my own family, but in this post, I'm focusing on my prayers for them. For all that I forget to do, or neglect in my life...I pray for my kids. I think we should be reckless and lavish and BOLD when it comes to praying for our children.
Have you ever gone into their rooms at night, and put your hands on them, and prayed over them while they slept?
I have...many times.
I've prayed for their hearts...that they would see their sin, and realize their need for salvation. I've prayed they would allow God to take root and grow...that they would stay attached to HIM for strength and nourishment.
I've prayed over them when their hearts were broken, because my heart was broken right along with theirs.
I've prayed over their clothes, as I took them out of the dryer, and folded them...redeeming this mundane task...thanking God for our washer and dryer, and asking Him to help our kids be thankful for the small things, as well as for the big things; and praying, as they wear those clothes, they will be reminded of how God clothes the grass in the field, that is here one day, and thrown in the furnace the next day...and for them to know that He cares so much more for them.
I've prayed over their shoes..."Lord, may my children bring the message of the Gospel of peace wherever they go...and would You watch over them, even if their feet take them to places they know they aren't supposed to go?"
I've prayed over tests and books and notes for a speech. I've prayed as I packed their lunches for the day...thanking God for the food He provided, and asking Him to use it to sustain them for the day.
I've prayed over their attitudes, their spirits, that they would use their words to help and encourage others.
I've pulled up in parking lots at their schools and colleges...and prayed for them, their teachers, their friends, their safety. I've prayed in locker rooms...over pads and helmets and cleats...and I've prayed over swim goggles and dance shoes.
I've prayed over medicine..."Lord, would You use this to bring healing?"
I've prayed for their cars to make it til graduation...or maybe just to get them home safely "one more time."
I've got one who is rarely sick, but when he is...I cannot tell you the knot that is in my stomach. And so whenever he is sick, or whenever the others are sick...I pray for healing...and for acceptance, if healing doesn't come in the way we want it. And I've prayed for our young Mommies...for healthy babies, and safe deliveries, and for God to be with all of us if His plan is different from the one we are praying for. And I pray for the sweet little ones who are being added to our family. Lord, find us faithful to teach them in Your ways.
My heart is just so tender toward my kids.
I made a lot of mistakes in parenting. I still do. I've said the wrong things. I've over-stepped. I've assumed that I always know what is best. I wasted time on things that didn't matter.
But I believe one of the greatest things we can do for our kids is to pray for them. Truth be told, sometimes it's the ONLY thing we can do.
On this day, I wanted Logan to feel God's presence. I wanted him to know that so many people were praying for him, and believed in him...so I searched my car for a scrap piece of paper, and I wrote down every name of every person who had told me they were praying for Logan that morning. I can't remember for sure, but I think it was around 18-20 people. I put the note under his windshield wiper, and I left.
I didn't really intend to ever share this story, mainly because there's a fine line between being an encouraging mom...and being a stalker mom. And I don't really know which side this lands on. I don't know if it's weird or right or completely wrong...but I did it, and I don't want any grief about it. YOU DO YOU.
I stressed over sharing this because I'm not perfect, and I don't ever want to pretend that I am. Those closest to me will attest to this fact! I struggle, I fail, I fall. And I don't want to suggest that my children are perfect, either. They are not.
I'm sharing this story to say this: as parents, our roles change as our children get older. Or they should. We go from being their comforter, encourager, authority figure, disciplinarian, and teacher...to being more of an adviser (if they ask), a friend (if they want it), a confidant, a cheerleader, a sounding board, and a fierce prayer warrior (we should always be fierce prayer warriors for our children).
As parents, we know to step back as our kids get older...and let them learn and grow and succeed and fail on their own.
We are told to not hold on too long...that it's not good for them, or for us.
But I want to suggest this as well: don't let (all the way) go too soon.
There are still plenty of ways we can support and encourage our children, even our adult children (and their spouses)...if we keep our eyes and ears open, and act on the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
"So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light." Colossians 1:9-12
Logan was up at 5 on Tuesday morning...making coffee, and trying to settle his spirit. He was very patient as Morgan and I tried to fuss over him...wanting to make him breakfast, encouraging him to take snacks.
And then he was gone.
He left way too early, in my opinion, but he wanted to avoid the early-morning work traffic.
Two hours later, I was the one heading into Little Rock...taking Joshua to his Therapeutic Recreation.
And then, even though I had been praying for over 2 months for Logan, as he prepared and studied for this test; and even though I prayed for him as he left the house that morning; and even tho I was STILL praying for him, as he was taking this 5 hour test...on my way back home, I put on my blinker, and I took an exit.
I found the testing center, and I rolled my little self up in the parking lot.
It didn't take me long to find Logan's car. It was about the 4th one from the door. That made me giggle. Yep...I think he got there plenty early!
Logan was already inside, starting on his 2nd hour of a 5 hour test. I pulled my car up in front of his car, and stopped.
And I began to pray.
Why did I feel the need to physically go to where my child...my ADULT child was...to be as close as possible to the situation? I mean, surely my prayers from home were just as "heard" and just as effective...right?
And to be clear, the outcome of this day (or any day) was never up to me.
But prayer is powerful, y'all. It might not change your circumstances, but it for sure changes your perspective. I am a huge believer in the power and importance of prayer. I pray for others besides my own family, but in this post, I'm focusing on my prayers for them. For all that I forget to do, or neglect in my life...I pray for my kids. I think we should be reckless and lavish and BOLD when it comes to praying for our children.
Have you ever prayed over your child when they were sick...or nervous...or hurting?
Have you ever gone into their rooms at night, and put your hands on them, and prayed over them while they slept?
I have...many times.
I've prayed for their hearts...that they would see their sin, and realize their need for salvation. I've prayed they would allow God to take root and grow...that they would stay attached to HIM for strength and nourishment.
I've prayed over them when their hearts were broken, because my heart was broken right along with theirs.
I've prayed over their clothes, as I took them out of the dryer, and folded them...redeeming this mundane task...thanking God for our washer and dryer, and asking Him to help our kids be thankful for the small things, as well as for the big things; and praying, as they wear those clothes, they will be reminded of how God clothes the grass in the field, that is here one day, and thrown in the furnace the next day...and for them to know that He cares so much more for them.
I've prayed over their shoes..."Lord, may my children bring the message of the Gospel of peace wherever they go...and would You watch over them, even if their feet take them to places they know they aren't supposed to go?"
I've prayed over tests and books and notes for a speech. I've prayed as I packed their lunches for the day...thanking God for the food He provided, and asking Him to use it to sustain them for the day.
I've prayed over their attitudes, their spirits, that they would use their words to help and encourage others.
I've pulled up in parking lots at their schools and colleges...and prayed for them, their teachers, their friends, their safety. I've prayed in locker rooms...over pads and helmets and cleats...and I've prayed over swim goggles and dance shoes.
I've prayed over medicine..."Lord, would You use this to bring healing?"
I've prayed for their cars to make it til graduation...or maybe just to get them home safely "one more time."
I've got one who is rarely sick, but when he is...I cannot tell you the knot that is in my stomach. And so whenever he is sick, or whenever the others are sick...I pray for healing...and for acceptance, if healing doesn't come in the way we want it. And I've prayed for our young Mommies...for healthy babies, and safe deliveries, and for God to be with all of us if His plan is different from the one we are praying for. And I pray for the sweet little ones who are being added to our family. Lord, find us faithful to teach them in Your ways.
My heart is just so tender toward my kids.
I made a lot of mistakes in parenting. I still do. I've said the wrong things. I've over-stepped. I've assumed that I always know what is best. I wasted time on things that didn't matter.
But I believe one of the greatest things we can do for our kids is to pray for them. Truth be told, sometimes it's the ONLY thing we can do.
On this day, I wanted Logan to feel God's presence. I wanted him to know that so many people were praying for him, and believed in him...so I searched my car for a scrap piece of paper, and I wrote down every name of every person who had told me they were praying for Logan that morning. I can't remember for sure, but I think it was around 18-20 people. I put the note under his windshield wiper, and I left.
I didn't really intend to ever share this story, mainly because there's a fine line between being an encouraging mom...and being a stalker mom. And I don't really know which side this lands on. I don't know if it's weird or right or completely wrong...but I did it, and I don't want any grief about it. YOU DO YOU.
I stressed over sharing this because I'm not perfect, and I don't ever want to pretend that I am. Those closest to me will attest to this fact! I struggle, I fail, I fall. And I don't want to suggest that my children are perfect, either. They are not.
I'm sharing this story to say this: as parents, our roles change as our children get older. Or they should. We go from being their comforter, encourager, authority figure, disciplinarian, and teacher...to being more of an adviser (if they ask), a friend (if they want it), a confidant, a cheerleader, a sounding board, and a fierce prayer warrior (we should always be fierce prayer warriors for our children).
As parents, we know to step back as our kids get older...and let them learn and grow and succeed and fail on their own.
We are told to not hold on too long...that it's not good for them, or for us.
But I want to suggest this as well: don't let (all the way) go too soon.
There are still plenty of ways we can support and encourage our children, even our adult children (and their spouses)...if we keep our eyes and ears open, and act on the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
"So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light." Colossians 1:9-12
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Leanne's Update on Our Dad: "It's All Going to be Okay."
I am so thankful for my family. Good times, bad times, hard times...even tho we live in different states, we are there for each other. My sister, Leanne, posted this update, after spending part of her Spring Break getting my Dad settled in his new digs at the nursing home.
"I have returned home from my spring break trip to the Veteran’s Center in Claremore, Oklahoma with a very full heart and a sense of peace with the facility that my dad will now call home.
My family dreaded the day he was to be transferred to the VA Center. He had been at the rehab place for 100 days after his fall and his time was up there. Almost every day he asked about going home and our fear was that when they loaded him up in the transport van, he would think he was going home and would be devastated when he realized where he was going.
My family prayed, and we asked our friends to pray, and we decided to turn all of that over to God in prayer.
Except we didn’t.
We prayed, and then took it all back – all of the stress and worry and fear and dread – we took it all back.
And then when our prayers were answered in a HUGE way with the seamless and EASY transition to the VA Center, we still questioned when the other shoe would drop.
Maybe it just didn’t sink in with Dad that this was his home now.
Maybe Day 2 would be bad? Maybe Day 3?
And because we are human and flawed, it is still so unbelievable to us that after almost a week at his new home, Dad is happy and content and more alert and lucid than he has been in a long time.
At first glance and first visit to the facility, it doesn’t look like much. It is a somewhat cold and functional military facility. But the more time I spent there, the more familiar it felt. It was every office building, hospital, doctor’s office or commissary we frequented during our life spent living on military bases.
Maybe Dad feels this sense of familiarity and comfort there too.
Dad was the first to notice the airplanes hanging from the ceiling only in his wing of the unit.
If you know my dad, you know he loves God, his family his country and then AIRPLANES, in that order.
The dining hall is amazing and the food is good. Dad has been eating so well. The dessert bar with unlimited soft-serve ice cream is his favorite spot in the whole place!
Everyone we have come in contact with has been so kind and they tend to dad in such a loving, caring and respectful way.
And the most amazing thing is that all of it; the nursing care, the physical therapy and the occupational therapy, the medications, the food and unlimited ice cream are all 100% covered for my dad because of his service to our country.
This makes me so proud.
I’m proud of him and I’m proud of us, as a country, for honoring and respecting our Veterans in this way.
The very first night at the VA Center, Dad took my sister-in-law Shelley’s hand and told her, “It’s all going to be OK. I am going to be just fine here.”
Today, we are thanking God for answered prayer and thanking our friends for following along and supporting us on this journey."
Thank you, Leanne, for this awesome update on our Dad.
“Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it." Habakkuk 1:5
"I have returned home from my spring break trip to the Veteran’s Center in Claremore, Oklahoma with a very full heart and a sense of peace with the facility that my dad will now call home.
My family dreaded the day he was to be transferred to the VA Center. He had been at the rehab place for 100 days after his fall and his time was up there. Almost every day he asked about going home and our fear was that when they loaded him up in the transport van, he would think he was going home and would be devastated when he realized where he was going.
My family prayed, and we asked our friends to pray, and we decided to turn all of that over to God in prayer.
Except we didn’t.
We prayed, and then took it all back – all of the stress and worry and fear and dread – we took it all back.
And then when our prayers were answered in a HUGE way with the seamless and EASY transition to the VA Center, we still questioned when the other shoe would drop.
Maybe it just didn’t sink in with Dad that this was his home now.
Maybe Day 2 would be bad? Maybe Day 3?
And because we are human and flawed, it is still so unbelievable to us that after almost a week at his new home, Dad is happy and content and more alert and lucid than he has been in a long time.
At first glance and first visit to the facility, it doesn’t look like much. It is a somewhat cold and functional military facility. But the more time I spent there, the more familiar it felt. It was every office building, hospital, doctor’s office or commissary we frequented during our life spent living on military bases.
Maybe Dad feels this sense of familiarity and comfort there too.
Dad was the first to notice the airplanes hanging from the ceiling only in his wing of the unit.
If you know my dad, you know he loves God, his family his country and then AIRPLANES, in that order.
The dining hall is amazing and the food is good. Dad has been eating so well. The dessert bar with unlimited soft-serve ice cream is his favorite spot in the whole place!
Everyone we have come in contact with has been so kind and they tend to dad in such a loving, caring and respectful way.
And the most amazing thing is that all of it; the nursing care, the physical therapy and the occupational therapy, the medications, the food and unlimited ice cream are all 100% covered for my dad because of his service to our country.
This makes me so proud.
I’m proud of him and I’m proud of us, as a country, for honoring and respecting our Veterans in this way.
The very first night at the VA Center, Dad took my sister-in-law Shelley’s hand and told her, “It’s all going to be OK. I am going to be just fine here.”
Today, we are thanking God for answered prayer and thanking our friends for following along and supporting us on this journey."
Thank you, Leanne, for this awesome update on our Dad.
“Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it." Habakkuk 1:5
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Honoring My Dad
*This post somehow got out-of-order. It should've been posted before the one about him moving to a nursing home. But it's okay. Everything is okay.
Not everyone has a Dad like mine, and that makes me very sad. Because I’ve known nothing but his unconditional love and support.
"Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise)..." Ephesians 6:2
Not everyone has a Dad like mine, and that makes me very sad. Because I’ve known nothing but his unconditional love and support.
He’s never once uttered a word of criticism to me, even when I probably deserved it.
So when I came to the point in my life where I was ready to make a decision to follow Jesus, it was an easy transition for me.
I didn’t have the fear or mistrust many have when it comes to relinquishing control of their lives to a loving God.
A life dependent on Jesus was consistently modeled by my Dad in our home, at his work...and in our church and community.
For my whole life, my Dad has been an earthly example of our Heavenly Father.
This week, we are facing changes with his care that have been expected, but changes none of us wanted.
We are all united in the decisions that are being made, but it’s still so very hard.
Your prayers on behalf of my Dad and his wife, Clara, and for the rest our family, would be so appreciated.
Monday, March 18, 2019
International Women's Day: Doing the Hard
Widowed, remarried, she now lives with great challenges.
Spent 100 days waking up, alone, in her home.
She gets up, gets ready, and drives 30 minutes to a rehab facility...where she spends up to 12 hours a day with her husband: pushing him, feeding him, washing him, dressing him, shaving him, monitoring his care, checking his meds.
Hours of no response to her conversation.
She tucked him in every night, and drove over 30 minutes to their home...alone...where she washed his clothes, paid the bills, ate a meal...alone.
She tries to sleep...because she knows that, in the morning, she will have to do it all again.
More than anything, she wants to be able to care for her husband in their home...but she wants the best for him...even if she isn’t the one who can provide it.
So yesterday, she moved him into a nursing home.
And, again, she went home alone.
Lots of chatter on social media about strong women today...and what we’re told that looks like.
I’m here to suggest that sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what we thought would be or could be...because we are deep in the reality of what IS...head down, plowing ahead, seeking God, serving others, doing that next right thing.
Sometimes the difference we make on this earth is in our every day lives...in our homes, with our people, and with others along our path who bear witness to the lives we live.
She would be the first to tell you that she is not enough...but Jesus is; that she doesn’t have the energy, the strength, the discipline, the wisdom, or the internal fortitude to do all she does on a daily basis...but Jesus does.
On this day, with people acknowledging famous women who have and are making a difference in our world...I choose this ordinary wife, mother, grandmother, friend: my Dad's wife.
Doing the hard, inspiring others. Every day.
"But if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed but let him glorify God in having that name." 1 Peter 4:16
Spent 100 days waking up, alone, in her home.
She gets up, gets ready, and drives 30 minutes to a rehab facility...where she spends up to 12 hours a day with her husband: pushing him, feeding him, washing him, dressing him, shaving him, monitoring his care, checking his meds.
Hours of no response to her conversation.
She tucked him in every night, and drove over 30 minutes to their home...alone...where she washed his clothes, paid the bills, ate a meal...alone.
She tries to sleep...because she knows that, in the morning, she will have to do it all again.
More than anything, she wants to be able to care for her husband in their home...but she wants the best for him...even if she isn’t the one who can provide it.
So yesterday, she moved him into a nursing home.
And, again, she went home alone.
Lots of chatter on social media about strong women today...and what we’re told that looks like.
I’m here to suggest that sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what we thought would be or could be...because we are deep in the reality of what IS...head down, plowing ahead, seeking God, serving others, doing that next right thing.
Sometimes the difference we make on this earth is in our every day lives...in our homes, with our people, and with others along our path who bear witness to the lives we live.
She would be the first to tell you that she is not enough...but Jesus is; that she doesn’t have the energy, the strength, the discipline, the wisdom, or the internal fortitude to do all she does on a daily basis...but Jesus does.
On this day, with people acknowledging famous women who have and are making a difference in our world...I choose this ordinary wife, mother, grandmother, friend: my Dad's wife.
Doing the hard, inspiring others. Every day.
"But if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed but let him glorify God in having that name." 1 Peter 4:16
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
"Comparison is the Thief of Joy"
[12.22.2018]
You’ve probably read or heard the phrase, “comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s a phrase that is all over social media.
I’ve always thought of it as it pertains to comparing your home decor to someone else’s, or your clothes to someone else’s...and not as much about comparing your life to someone else’s.
But my sister told a story about my Dad the other day: he’s been in rehab since he fell in his home on Thanksgiving Day; how confused he is, how stubborn and grumpy he sometimes acts now...which is completely and totally not his character at all.
And she told his caretakers and therapists how he is, and has always been, the kindest, most gentle person we’ve ever known.
She says they act like they believe her.
She said they are all touched by his love for Clara...and hers for him. And by the way his face lights up when he sees her.
They say they want what my Dad and Clara have.
I think it’s interesting that people see the two of them, and want what they have...but they have no idea of the heartbreak and loss that brought them to each other.
We see a slice of a person’s life, and we assume that what we see has always been: that there has always been joy, love, and hope.
Or that there’s always been criticism, frustration, and sadness.
And then we compare what we have to what we *see* in others...and sometimes we wish for that life...when we have no idea what it has taken for them to get to that place.
Such a great reminder to me that everyone has a story...and it might not be the one we make up in our heads.
"...'Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?' Throughout all this Job did not sin in what he said." Job 2:10
You’ve probably read or heard the phrase, “comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s a phrase that is all over social media.
I’ve always thought of it as it pertains to comparing your home decor to someone else’s, or your clothes to someone else’s...and not as much about comparing your life to someone else’s.
But my sister told a story about my Dad the other day: he’s been in rehab since he fell in his home on Thanksgiving Day; how confused he is, how stubborn and grumpy he sometimes acts now...which is completely and totally not his character at all.
And she told his caretakers and therapists how he is, and has always been, the kindest, most gentle person we’ve ever known.
She says they act like they believe her.
She said they are all touched by his love for Clara...and hers for him. And by the way his face lights up when he sees her.
They say they want what my Dad and Clara have.
I think it’s interesting that people see the two of them, and want what they have...but they have no idea of the heartbreak and loss that brought them to each other.
We see a slice of a person’s life, and we assume that what we see has always been: that there has always been joy, love, and hope.
Or that there’s always been criticism, frustration, and sadness.
And then we compare what we have to what we *see* in others...and sometimes we wish for that life...when we have no idea what it has taken for them to get to that place.
Such a great reminder to me that everyone has a story...and it might not be the one we make up in our heads.
"...'Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?' Throughout all this Job did not sin in what he said." Job 2:10
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Fighting for Love
We shouldn't be friends, she and I.
Hurt feelings and change and circumstances and memories and broken dreams...all could've divided us.
Too much...what is it they say..."water under the bridge."
And, yet, here we are.
Friends. Sisters in Christ. Forgiven...and forgivING.
Bound together by a deep love for each other, and trusting in the promise that God will work all things out for our good.
In HIS plan...and not our own.
This looks crazy to people on the outside looking in, but, honestly, we should not have a problem showing extravagant love to others...because that is exactly the way Jesus loves us.
Oh, it's not always easy. It hasn't always been easy for us.
But we fought for this.
And I'm so thankful we did.
"Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony." Colossisans 3:14
Hurt feelings and change and circumstances and memories and broken dreams...all could've divided us.
Too much...what is it they say..."water under the bridge."
And, yet, here we are.
Friends. Sisters in Christ. Forgiven...and forgivING.
Bound together by a deep love for each other, and trusting in the promise that God will work all things out for our good.
In HIS plan...and not our own.
This looks crazy to people on the outside looking in, but, honestly, we should not have a problem showing extravagant love to others...because that is exactly the way Jesus loves us.
Oh, it's not always easy. It hasn't always been easy for us.
But we fought for this.
And I'm so thankful we did.
"Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony." Colossisans 3:14
Monday, February 11, 2019
On Raising Strong Girls
Everyone wants to raise strong boys, but you can receive mixed reactions when you talk about raising strong girls. People are either like, “YEAH! Girl power!” Or they’re like, “slow your roll, Norma Rae.”
Here’s the thing: we do need to raise strong girls.
And here’s the other thing: We ARE raising strong girls, and we ARE already strong.
We are strong enough to befriend the lonely, not worried about what others will say. I’m lookin’ at you, Lindsey Walker (Joshua's friend from K-12).
We are strong enough to encourage our friends, because we know that their successes don’t take away from ours.
We are strong enough to grow a life, birth a baby, and nourish them from our bodies. We’re also strong enough to love a child who was born from another, to raise them as equally as the ones who came from our bodies.
We are strong enough to take criticism: from family, friends, and even from strangers...who have opinions about everything in our lives.
We are strong enough to be in a marriage, without losing ourselves...and strong enough to go on alone, if we happen to lose our husbands.
We are strong enough to hold our tongues when we should...and sometimes when we shouldn’t. We are strong enough to speak our minds on a subject, to voice our opinions, to own our emotions.
Sometimes, we doubt ourselves, our abilities, our motives. We are still learning.
Not every woman or girl has to be a sign-holding activist, altho there may be times when we feel so strongly about a situation or a cause that that’s what we do. Sometimes bringing awareness to a situation brings change.
But I want to gently offer this for consideration: there are strong women who work quietly every day in their homes...raising their children (or other peoples’ children), and stretching their budgets.
Some strong women are caring for their elderly parents.
A strong woman close to my heart has added “caregiver” to her role as a wife, spending her days driving to and from a facility...where she daily visits, supports, and encourages her husband; daily laying down her life, her will, her time, her preferences, and her dreams...for him; daily living “in sickness and in health.”
One of the strongest women I know lives with great challenges, parenting two daughters who have delicate and complex medical needs every day. EVERY DAY, y’all.
Another strong woman I know advocates fiercely for the children in foster care in our state.
Another strong woman I know is fighting cancer, and not for the first time...and is boldly committed to serving God “all the way to the gates.”
There are strong women in the workplace...fighting against stereotypes and expectations, and shattering those glass ceilings.
There are strong women who are single-handedly taking care of their families, by choice or because of loss or circumstances.
There are strong women who teach our children in school every day. There are strong women who care for us and our loved ones in the hospital; strong women who work at Kroger, your bank, the post office; strong women who serve and protect our country.
I want to suggest that we stop thinking women are “strong” only if they act or look a certain way, or believe a certain way, or have a certain profession, or belong to a certain political party.
Strong women support other women instead of tearing them down.
And here’s another thought: I’m confused as to why one gender needs to be superior to the other. And why we feel it’s necessary to put down one gender...in order to raise the other?
Why can’t we celebrate BOTH?
What I wanted, what I still want, was to raise a strong girl, of course. But also to raise strong BOYS...who would grow into strong men: men strong in faith, compassion, and character; who respect authority, and obey their parents; who love Jesus; who value the role of a husband and father; who partner with their wives to love God and each other, who teach their children, with words and by example, about Jesus; who serve God, their wives, their families, their church, and others; who see worth in a person, no matter their age, skin color, or if they are differently-abled; who respect the thoughts and opinions of women; who believe that women are capable, intelligent, and valuable; who cheer on and support the women in their lives, and encourage them to be all God has created them to be.
I have a girl and 3 boys.
This time, next year...Lord willing...our family will look much different, as we add two precious, new grandbabies to the sweet one we already have. My desire and my prayer is the same for all of our kids and grandkids, no matter their gender: simply put, to love God, and love others; to serve God, and serve others; and to share God...WITH others.
And for each one to tend carefully to their own spiritual life. Because, to borrow this quote, “you cannot impart what you do not possess.”
Let’s do better.
STRONG GIRLS. STRONG BOYS. STRONG HUMANS.
"I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth." 3 John 1:4
Here’s the thing: we do need to raise strong girls.
And here’s the other thing: We ARE raising strong girls, and we ARE already strong.
We are strong enough to befriend the lonely, not worried about what others will say. I’m lookin’ at you, Lindsey Walker (Joshua's friend from K-12).
We are strong enough to encourage our friends, because we know that their successes don’t take away from ours.
We are strong enough to grow a life, birth a baby, and nourish them from our bodies. We’re also strong enough to love a child who was born from another, to raise them as equally as the ones who came from our bodies.
We are strong enough to take criticism: from family, friends, and even from strangers...who have opinions about everything in our lives.
We are strong enough to be in a marriage, without losing ourselves...and strong enough to go on alone, if we happen to lose our husbands.
We are strong enough to hold our tongues when we should...and sometimes when we shouldn’t. We are strong enough to speak our minds on a subject, to voice our opinions, to own our emotions.
Sometimes, we doubt ourselves, our abilities, our motives. We are still learning.
Not every woman or girl has to be a sign-holding activist, altho there may be times when we feel so strongly about a situation or a cause that that’s what we do. Sometimes bringing awareness to a situation brings change.
But I want to gently offer this for consideration: there are strong women who work quietly every day in their homes...raising their children (or other peoples’ children), and stretching their budgets.
Some strong women are caring for their elderly parents.
A strong woman close to my heart has added “caregiver” to her role as a wife, spending her days driving to and from a facility...where she daily visits, supports, and encourages her husband; daily laying down her life, her will, her time, her preferences, and her dreams...for him; daily living “in sickness and in health.”
One of the strongest women I know lives with great challenges, parenting two daughters who have delicate and complex medical needs every day. EVERY DAY, y’all.
Another strong woman I know advocates fiercely for the children in foster care in our state.
Another strong woman I know is fighting cancer, and not for the first time...and is boldly committed to serving God “all the way to the gates.”
There are strong women in the workplace...fighting against stereotypes and expectations, and shattering those glass ceilings.
There are strong women who are single-handedly taking care of their families, by choice or because of loss or circumstances.
There are strong women who teach our children in school every day. There are strong women who care for us and our loved ones in the hospital; strong women who work at Kroger, your bank, the post office; strong women who serve and protect our country.
I want to suggest that we stop thinking women are “strong” only if they act or look a certain way, or believe a certain way, or have a certain profession, or belong to a certain political party.
Strong women support other women instead of tearing them down.
And here’s another thought: I’m confused as to why one gender needs to be superior to the other. And why we feel it’s necessary to put down one gender...in order to raise the other?
Why can’t we celebrate BOTH?
What I wanted, what I still want, was to raise a strong girl, of course. But also to raise strong BOYS...who would grow into strong men: men strong in faith, compassion, and character; who respect authority, and obey their parents; who love Jesus; who value the role of a husband and father; who partner with their wives to love God and each other, who teach their children, with words and by example, about Jesus; who serve God, their wives, their families, their church, and others; who see worth in a person, no matter their age, skin color, or if they are differently-abled; who respect the thoughts and opinions of women; who believe that women are capable, intelligent, and valuable; who cheer on and support the women in their lives, and encourage them to be all God has created them to be.
I have a girl and 3 boys.
This time, next year...Lord willing...our family will look much different, as we add two precious, new grandbabies to the sweet one we already have. My desire and my prayer is the same for all of our kids and grandkids, no matter their gender: simply put, to love God, and love others; to serve God, and serve others; and to share God...WITH others.
And for each one to tend carefully to their own spiritual life. Because, to borrow this quote, “you cannot impart what you do not possess.”
Let’s do better.
STRONG GIRLS. STRONG BOYS. STRONG HUMANS.
"I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth." 3 John 1:4
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Making Room at Your Church for New People
Earlier this month, I went to a women’s event at our church.
We have a new pastor, and God is using him and his wife to breathe new life and energy into our church, and into our women’s ministry...and I’m so excited about that.
But as excited as I was, I had a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as we drove to the church.
I think we tend to base future events on past experiences.
Anyone else?
I’m an Air Force Brat. I’ve lived all over the United States, and in 2 foreign countries. By the time I graduated from high school, I had already moved 16 times. SIXTEEN! I was ALWAYS the new kid...at church, at school, everywhere.
It’s been a lonnnng time since I rode with Pa in the covered wagon to school. And even tho I know a lot of people at my church now, as I walked in this morning, I could still remember that sick feeling in my stomach.
Will I know anyone?
Will anyone talk to me?
Where will I sit?
Will they like me?
Years ago, I went to a women’s event at church...by myself.
I was new.
I walked in alone.
I went because I believe new people have to do some of the work...they have to put themselves out there, and try to meet people.
But they should never, ever have to do ALL the work.
So, several people spoke to me. I put on a name tag, and walked into the room. The tables were covered with white tablecloths. They were beautifully decorated. Candles flickered on each table.
But do you know what else I saw?
Chairs folded and leaned up around each table...the universal sign for “YOU CAN’T SIT HERE.”
Nearly every table had one or two people seated at it, with all the rest of the seats “saved.”
All of a sudden, I was back in school...the little new girl with no friends, and no place to sit.
UGH.
I never want anyone to feel like that!
Today, I walked into a women’s event at my church. I wasn’t by myself...my daughter, Holly, was with me. Many people spoke to us as we walked in. The women’s ministry members were greeting everyone, and making sure that each person felt welcome.
Holly and I walked into the sanctuary to see tables covered with white tablecloths. They were beautifully decorated. Candles flickered on each table.
What we heard: “hey, sit with us!”
All over the room, women were reaching out to each other saying, “hey, sit with us,” making sure no one had to stand awkwardly at the back, wondering if there was a place for them.
My church isn't perfect. Yours probably isn't, either. But we are doing our best to welcome, include, and care for each other. We are trying our best to point everyone to Jesus.
Let's do better. There are people all around us that need a friendly word of encouragement.
Let's make sure everyone has a seat at the table.
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:25
We have a new pastor, and God is using him and his wife to breathe new life and energy into our church, and into our women’s ministry...and I’m so excited about that.
But as excited as I was, I had a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as we drove to the church.
I think we tend to base future events on past experiences.
Anyone else?
I’m an Air Force Brat. I’ve lived all over the United States, and in 2 foreign countries. By the time I graduated from high school, I had already moved 16 times. SIXTEEN! I was ALWAYS the new kid...at church, at school, everywhere.
It’s been a lonnnng time since I rode with Pa in the covered wagon to school. And even tho I know a lot of people at my church now, as I walked in this morning, I could still remember that sick feeling in my stomach.
Will I know anyone?
Will anyone talk to me?
Where will I sit?
Will they like me?
Years ago, I went to a women’s event at church...by myself.
I was new.
I walked in alone.
I went because I believe new people have to do some of the work...they have to put themselves out there, and try to meet people.
But they should never, ever have to do ALL the work.
So, several people spoke to me. I put on a name tag, and walked into the room. The tables were covered with white tablecloths. They were beautifully decorated. Candles flickered on each table.
But do you know what else I saw?
Chairs folded and leaned up around each table...the universal sign for “YOU CAN’T SIT HERE.”
Nearly every table had one or two people seated at it, with all the rest of the seats “saved.”
All of a sudden, I was back in school...the little new girl with no friends, and no place to sit.
UGH.
I never want anyone to feel like that!
Today, I walked into a women’s event at my church. I wasn’t by myself...my daughter, Holly, was with me. Many people spoke to us as we walked in. The women’s ministry members were greeting everyone, and making sure that each person felt welcome.
Holly and I walked into the sanctuary to see tables covered with white tablecloths. They were beautifully decorated. Candles flickered on each table.
What we heard: “hey, sit with us!”
All over the room, women were reaching out to each other saying, “hey, sit with us,” making sure no one had to stand awkwardly at the back, wondering if there was a place for them.
My church isn't perfect. Yours probably isn't, either. But we are doing our best to welcome, include, and care for each other. We are trying our best to point everyone to Jesus.
Let's do better. There are people all around us that need a friendly word of encouragement.
Let's make sure everyone has a seat at the table.
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:25
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Century Bob
A couple of years ago, our middle son, Logan, asked for a “Century Bob” for his birthday.
First of all, I had never heard of such a thing.
Second of all, I had to google it. Or, as my boys say, “GOOOOOOOGLE IT, Mom...GOOOOOOOGLE IT!”
I’m pretty sure I asked the nice man at the sporting goods store for a “fake man that you kick.”
I stand by the fact that’s it’s probably one of the most unusual gifts I’ve ever bought for my kids, or for anyone, but if you have boys...they will think it’s AWESOME!
I didn’t, and still don’t, understand the fascination with the fake man...but he was on sale, so I bought him.
Logan was so tickled with it, and spent the next few days scaring Morgan half-to-death, by moving it all over their house. He would put different clothes on him from time to time...a hat, a scarf, a jacket. He even brought Century Bob with him when he stayed several weeks with his grandparents.
On the days when my husband was there for work, Logan would hide Century Bob in the shower, or move him around in the room to scare Jim when he came in.
Century Bob can be raised to over 6 feet tall, and I’m not joking when I tell you: if you walk into a dark room, and turn on the light...assuming you don’t have a heart attack and die on the spot...it will take you a minute to realize it’s just a fake man from the sporting goods store.
So when we were visiting Logan and Morgan this past weekend, we got to see Century Bob, loud and proud, in their living room. But this Momma was on her game, and I gave him a big dose of my foot in his mouth.
Uhhh...neck. I mean, high-chest area.
Because I'm 5'3".
I know I should be more embarrassed by this picture than I am, but I’m just sayin. A real mugger might’ve killed me dead, but I legit put the beat-down on ol’ Bob.
Also? DO NOT SNEAK UP ON ME.
“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him." Daniel 2:22
First of all, I had never heard of such a thing.
Second of all, I had to google it. Or, as my boys say, “GOOOOOOOGLE IT, Mom...GOOOOOOOGLE IT!”
I’m pretty sure I asked the nice man at the sporting goods store for a “fake man that you kick.”
I stand by the fact that’s it’s probably one of the most unusual gifts I’ve ever bought for my kids, or for anyone, but if you have boys...they will think it’s AWESOME!
I didn’t, and still don’t, understand the fascination with the fake man...but he was on sale, so I bought him.
Logan was so tickled with it, and spent the next few days scaring Morgan half-to-death, by moving it all over their house. He would put different clothes on him from time to time...a hat, a scarf, a jacket. He even brought Century Bob with him when he stayed several weeks with his grandparents.
On the days when my husband was there for work, Logan would hide Century Bob in the shower, or move him around in the room to scare Jim when he came in.
Century Bob can be raised to over 6 feet tall, and I’m not joking when I tell you: if you walk into a dark room, and turn on the light...assuming you don’t have a heart attack and die on the spot...it will take you a minute to realize it’s just a fake man from the sporting goods store.
So when we were visiting Logan and Morgan this past weekend, we got to see Century Bob, loud and proud, in their living room. But this Momma was on her game, and I gave him a big dose of my foot in his mouth.
Uhhh...neck. I mean, high-chest area.
Because I'm 5'3".
I know I should be more embarrassed by this picture than I am, but I’m just sayin. A real mugger might’ve killed me dead, but I legit put the beat-down on ol’ Bob.
Also? DO NOT SNEAK UP ON ME.
“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him." Daniel 2:22
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
The Gift of Time
So here’s how it usually goes down when you see someone you know: “hey, how are you?” “I’m good...you?” Usually we don’t even stop walking.
Amiright?
Well, here’s how it went down last month: person walks into the bakery, sees me and Joshua, and says to Joshua, “hey...I know YOU!”
Joshua: “you do?”
Person: “yes! I read about you all the time on your mom’s Facebook and Instagram. You’re kind of famous!”
Joshua: "I am!"
And then, she gave him (and me) the biggest gift...SHE SAT DOWN.
She sat down at the table with him, and visited with him while I ordered.
She sat with him like she had all the time in the world JUST FOR HIM...even tho I know she didn’t.
We’re all busy, right?
It was the best thing ever, and such a great reminder that the gift of your time...the gift of being interested in someone...the gift of listening to what they have to say...is a gift that will be remembered forever.
“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me.’" Matthew 25:40
Amiright?
Well, here’s how it went down last month: person walks into the bakery, sees me and Joshua, and says to Joshua, “hey...I know YOU!”
Joshua: “you do?”
Person: “yes! I read about you all the time on your mom’s Facebook and Instagram. You’re kind of famous!”
Joshua: "I am!"
And then, she gave him (and me) the biggest gift...SHE SAT DOWN.
She sat down at the table with him, and visited with him while I ordered.
She sat with him like she had all the time in the world JUST FOR HIM...even tho I know she didn’t.
We’re all busy, right?
It was the best thing ever, and such a great reminder that the gift of your time...the gift of being interested in someone...the gift of listening to what they have to say...is a gift that will be remembered forever.
“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me.’" Matthew 25:40
Monday, January 28, 2019
On the Other Side of the Unknown...He is There
When we headed home from Tulsa a couple of weeks ago, my mind was racing in a hundred different ways, trying to figure out things for my Dad...wondering what is the next step for him.
But what if we can’t see the next step?
What then?
Well, we trust God to show us.
The Bible tells us that God’s Word is “a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
He will light our way...but He doesn’t always light up the WHOLE way from the very beginning.
A flashlight will light your path, when you’re on a trail, but it doesn’t light up the WHOLE path all at once. It doesn’t show you what’s around the corner, or how steep the hill is, or if there are things ahead that might trip you up.
No, it lights your next step...and you take it..and then it lights the step after that.
Running ahead of God can cause you to stumble. You can go the wrong way. You can get lost in the dark. Just like running ahead of the light on a trail can cause you to stumble, get hurt, or get lost.
Today, we are unsure of the path before us, but we are holding tight to the hand of the One who holds our future.
On the other side of the unknown...He is there.
"When I am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy." Psalm 94:19
But what if we can’t see the next step?
What then?
Well, we trust God to show us.
The Bible tells us that God’s Word is “a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
He will light our way...but He doesn’t always light up the WHOLE way from the very beginning.
A flashlight will light your path, when you’re on a trail, but it doesn’t light up the WHOLE path all at once. It doesn’t show you what’s around the corner, or how steep the hill is, or if there are things ahead that might trip you up.
No, it lights your next step...and you take it..and then it lights the step after that.
Running ahead of God can cause you to stumble. You can go the wrong way. You can get lost in the dark. Just like running ahead of the light on a trail can cause you to stumble, get hurt, or get lost.
Today, we are unsure of the path before us, but we are holding tight to the hand of the One who holds our future.
On the other side of the unknown...He is there.
"When I am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy." Psalm 94:19
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