Change

Change.

It's not much I ever thought about until a few years ago, when we had to uproot our family and move to a different city. Then, there was a new church, new grocery store, new people. New everything.

It was HARD.

We had lived in the same community for 15 years. We pretty much raised our children there...it's the only "home" they remember. We loved our friends, our house, our church. I loved how I saw people I knew or recognized everywhere I went. Even at our local "Wal-Marks," I would see people I didn't really know...but they were familiar-looking. Even the crazy people (you know what I'm talking about)...it was like I had seen them before. I felt comfortable. And safe. With all my crazy people.

I didn't realize how set in my ways much I loved the continuity of my days until we had to move and everything changed. I found out real quick that I LIKE THE PREDICTABLE. When you have a bunch of kids, surprises are not your friend. I had things down to a science...dash here, pick up this child, drop this one here, run home, start dinner, etc. I had friends who had kids in the same activities, and we tried to help each other out by carpooling, but still...it was a balance. A del-i-cate balance. Much like the guy at the circus who balances all those sticks with the spinning plates on top of them, it works...even works well. And, to the outside world, it might even LOOK well, but like with the plates, one wrong move or unexpected event will send the whole thing crashing down. 

Even in our church...we had our 'place,' you know? Pre-school choir leader? Did it. AWANA leader? Check. Sunday School teacher? You know it! 

But churches are the worst about change, or they can be. They either never want to change ANYTHING, and so they become stagnant...OR, they want to change everything, which gives the appearance that they are still trying to "find" themselves.  

We've been in both types of churches. 

And it's not the "church" that resists change...it's the people IN the church. Them. Us. ME.

When Jim and I first married and went to our very first Sunday School class, we were put into the "Young Adult I" Department. TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER, we were STILL in that same Department. When it came time to "promote" to the next class, guess what? No one would move! The Minister of Education would come to our department a couple of times each year, and would talk to us about the purpose of Sunday School; about his vision of forming small groups of people who would get to know each other, and show God's love by caring for each other...and for others. The purpose of mixing the groups to contain 'different' people, who weren't all naturally best friends, was to bring new people into the group...and grow the group...and eventually to separate into two smaller groups. Like a cell. And by doing this over and over, year after year...it would grow your church...because studies have shown people are more likely to connect through a Sunday School (well, now we call them LIFE-GROUPS) class, because there are fewer people. You could have activities in your home, and the "non-churched" people, or the new people in town...would feel more comfortable coming to your home...or to the park, or the bowling alley, for a fun night with a few people they didn't know...than maybe they would if they had to go into a church filled with lots of people they didn't know. 

It went over like a lead-balloon. No one wanted to leave their class and their group of friends no matter HOW many new people it would bring in to the church. Of course, no one actually SAID those words...but our actions sure showed it! So, since no one would move, they changed the name to "Adult I." And then "Adult 1-A." And, as Joshua would say, "and-so-on-and-so-FOR."

And we kept the EXACT. SAME. PEOPLE...more or less. Year after year.


(yawn)

Well, I have to say...the view is a lot clearer now that I can look back, and isn't that usually the case with most things in life? Don't we become so much wiser with time? I didn't realize until AFTER we moved...how boring and complacent and lazy I'd become, not only in my life-life...but in my spiritual life. Before that? I thought things were GREAT!


When we moved here, it's like I had a complete systems crash! I felt like I was having to re-learn everything.  Getting around in town, or going to places that I had been my whole married life...I was suddenly having a brain-freeze on how to get there. I lost weight...my hair started falling out. I was a mess! I'm trying to make light of it, but it was realllllllly hard...for a long time.

Since the church community is a big part of our lives, as soon as we moved here, we made it a priority to find a church we could call "home."

WELL.

And by saying "well," you can imagine that there is MUCH to this story that Jim and I cannot share with anyone, but you can just know that THINGS WERE NOT AT ALL WELL.

Amen.

This church was different. Not at all what we were used to...it wasn't a bad-different, just different. But God led us to that church and it didn't take long until I began to see that I was the one who was different. And NOT in a good way. I realized that I had held judgments or expectations about people based on who they were, where they worked, how they dressed or talked, or how long I'd known them.

OUCH.

And all of this was coming from the one who BRISTLES when people hold judgment or have expectations for my child who has Special Needs...when people don't take the time to look past his appearance or speech or abilities...to get to know the beautiful, wonderful young man he is on the inside.

BRISTLE, I do.

Moving away from my comfortable life, where everything was familiar...to this new place, where everything was definitely NOT familiar...opened my eyes to how I want to live from here on out. I want to see others through the eyes of Christ, because that's how I want others to see ME. If they just see the me without seeing the ONE who rescued me from me...and my sin...depressed, discouraged, distressed...well, that's not a pretty sight. Once I let go of my preconceived ideas, and stripped away all the other nonsense that was going around in my head...I will have to say the past 3 years have been some of the most spiritually fruitful of my entire life. I have learned so much, and have met some AMAZING people here.

Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way.

Or maybe that's just me.

Things just can't stay the same.

Now...disclaimer: JESUS CHRIST IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER (Hebrews 13:8). He never changes. He is...I AM. That's not at all what I'm talking about. 

I'm just saying that, no matter how much we want to, I don't think God wants us to become comfortable...or complacent...in our earthly circumstances. I think He wants us to be constantly changing, growing, on the alert. When I could handle multiple things in my busy family on my own, then God, and my relationship with Him, took a back-seat. I'd get to THAT when I had more time. Even tho being independent is a valuable trait in our culture, in a Christian's life, just the opposite is needed. We need to be DEPENDENT...on God...for every need, for every struggle, every care. It sounds like it should be easy. Why do we fight it so much?

Or maybe that's just me.

All I know is that now that the thing which shall not be mentioned is happening to our family again...I'm not nearly as afraid as I was before. I'm sad about leaving here, don't get me wrong...but I am EXCITED for the new adventure that GOD has placed in front of us. I have seen God's faithfulness to our family, and I know He is going before us, preparing our way.

Help me, Lord, not to run ahead of you.

Deuteronomy 1:30 "The LORD your God is going ahead of you. He will fight for you..."