Years of Blessing

I started this blog mainly to record my "Joshua stories." (Even tho my other kids tell me, "YOU HAVE OTHER CHILDREN!")

Correction, my sister started this blog for me to record my "Joshua stories."

Because there are just some things about our lives...living with Joshua right now...that are just so fun, and so funny. Over the past few years, he has turned into our resident Jay Leno. Most of the time, he doesn't realize how funny he is.

But sometimes he does. 

Now that he is out of school, things are easier in many ways. We don't have to wonder every day how he's doing...about the kids in his class...if he's able to keep up with the work. We don't have homework and notes sent home and professionals telling us what we should and should not do.

But I mean..it's still hard.

I told someone the other day that I haven't had a carefree breath in 27 years. That's something I rarely say in public...and I have only, up to this point, said to just a handful of people. I'm no martyr...and I'm no victim. Just stating a fact. Joshua is constantly on my mind. That has not changed. And while I no longer have to worry about kids in his class, I worry more now about the world...people in the world who might take advantage of him or harm him in some way. I can hardly let my mind go there. I never want him to experience fear. I think about how he will be as he ages. I think about how he will feel when his grandparents die...or if Jim or I die before he does. I think about who will take care of him...we have planned for that, but I don't want anyone, even a family member, to ever feel like he's a burden. We have the best families...and they could not be more supportive, but, no one on this earth can love and care for Joshua like Jim and I...because we've loved him from the beginning. But you know, it might come to that.

Constantly on my mind.

But right now? I call these years the Years of Blessing. God has been so gracious to allow us these fun years with Joshua...sandwiched in between the hard times he had in school...to the hard times that are sure to come later. We are loving experiencing life with him. He is happy every day. He is caring and kind (usually). He sees the good in others. He speaks his mind no matter who is around to hear it! He is sensitive and insightful. He is excited with the little things.

It's not all funny...not all fun and games...but mostly, that's what I write about. I had someone say one time, "oh, I love your stories...I would just love a child with Down Syndrome!...I have always said that if I had to have a child with a disability, I would pick Down Syndrome." 

Seriously?

SHUT. UP.

I love writing about the fun stuff, but if you read around on my blog, you will see that I write about some of the difficult stuff, too. I just want people to feel encouraged...to know that Down Syndrome is not a death sentence for your life, your child's life, or for your family. It's a different path for sure. Difficult for sure. Uncertain, scary, frustrating, sad...blessed, joyful, rewarding and happy. 

But guess what? We have 3 other kids and some of the same emotions could (and have) be said about them. 

I am so very thankful for this man-child. He makes my day every day. He's for sure made me a better mom. In the beginning, I questioned whether God should've given Joshua to us...we sure didn't want to mess him up. We feel so unworthy.

And so blessed.

"For this boy I prayed, and He has granted my request. So I have dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the LORD..." 1 Samuel 1:27-28

Suri

I ticked off Siri.

Well, first of all...I call her Suri. I don't know why other than that's what I thought she was called, back in the very beginning of Siri...I just never changed her name in my mind after I found out otherwise.

Well, one day last week, Jim sent me a text just minutes after he had left the house.

I texted him back, "no texting and driving," expecting that he would read it after he got to his office. Instead, I got another text almost immediately that read, "Siri." So I responded with, "tell Siri to shutty."

(or something like that!)

Well, when Jim got to his office, he was going to respond back to me...but guess what little Miss Annoying Siri did? She completely erased my contact information from Jim's phone!

ROO.

I never did like her.

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth..." Ephesians 4:29

A Long Week of Waiting

This has been the longest week.

Maybe it's just me.

Actually, it's been a long two months.

My husband works for a large utility company here in Arkansas. Every few years, they go through a big reorganization...people are moved around, departments are down-sized or eliminated, some people lose their jobs. That's where we are now. Waiting.

Announcements began in late August, starting with the highest levels in the Company. Tomorrow, Jim will find out his fate. We aren't worried sick or anything, but it is very stressful.

Ugh.

On another note, Joshua had a good day today. They did "hip-hop" as their fitness challenge. I can only imagine what Mr. Lee thought about it all!

While Joshua was with his group, Holly and I spent the day together. We have been wanting a new bed for Joshua. He has one of the smallest bedrooms in our house. I gave him first choice of the rooms when we moved in. He chose the one with the built-in desk. I knew he would.

So, once we put a full-sized bed in there, and a dresser, AND a chest-of-drawers...there wasn't much room at all. And, since the whole mattress-falling-off-the-trailer debacle...Joshua has been sleeping in Logan's empty room since Logan's away at college. But we want Joshua to have his nest all fixed back up.

Joshua was kind of wanting a day-bed. I was VERY "iffy" on that for him, for several reasons...the main one being that it was hard finding one manly enough for him. Not a huge market for day-beds for 27 year old men.

But, on Tuesday, we found a possibility. On Wednesday, we brought Joshua to the store to check it out. Today, we bought that sucker...and tomorrow, we get it here at the house and will set it all up! Today, Holly and I bought a rug, some bedding...and some extra "throw" pillows to go along the side of the day-bed that will be up against the wall. Holly also found a decorative shield with a cross in the middle of it at Hobby Lobby. We are going to hang it on Joshua's wall. He will LOVE it. We also bought a large canvas and Holly is going to paint something on it and hang it over Joshua's bed.

Can't wait to get Joshua's room all together tomorrow. After Jim hears about his job, he is coming straight home...no matter how things end up. And we will spend the rest of the day at home as a family, and then we'll go support Clark in his football game tomorrow night.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Joshua and His Stories

Joshua loves to write. It's kind of his "thing."

A lot of kids with Down Syndrome (this is only from my observation) have a certain thing that they kind of get obsessed with. Joshua's girlfriend, Jenni? She writes baby names. Like, names that she likes for babies. And she finds names everywhere...in the credits from movies, on signs, football rosters, graduation programs. She writes them down and pairs them with various middle names. She probably has 100 notebooks FULL of baby names. It's her "thing." It keeps her focused. It keeps her occupied. It keeps her calm in anxious situations.

Joshua writes.

Sometimes he writes what he calls "songs" or "poems." Lately, tho, he has been writing stories.

He gets obsessed with certain books or movies and will read/watch them over and over. Back in the day, it was Beauty and the Beast. He had a love/hate relationship with that movie. He loved it, but parts of it terrified him. He knew every scene, every song, and most of the movie word-for-word. More recently, it's been Star Wars, Harry Potter, the whole Alex Kendrick Flywheel-Facing the Giants-Fireproof-Courageous movies. Fireproof affected him so much because of his relationship with Jenni. He got the Love Dare book and tried to do it every day, even tho Jenni had no clue what in the world he was talking about. When they would have a squabble he would say, "I'm trying to do the Love Dare on her, but it's not WORKING!"

The most recent thing he has gotten obsessed with is the Twilight series. I know. We weren't really "sold" on this series, but everyone was jumping on this bandwagon...including most of his friends. I read the first book and let him watch the first couple of movies...and I didn't get the big deal of why it was so good, but he watched it over and over. And then, even tho we did not let him watch the other movies OR get the other books, he would ask his grandmother for them...and she would buy them for him...and he would sneak them up to his room.

The little rat.

His whole group of friends, especially the girls, are all OBSESSED with the Twilight series (and the actors). When he started writing his stories and would tell me about it...they sounded very similar to the Twilight series. I reminded him that he couldn't copy someone else's idea, and so he changed a few things.

Well, now he's decided that he's writing a book. And he's on Book 2. I know that I need to go get all of his writings, and try to decipher it...and type it into a manuscript form for him. I just don't have the energy yet. It's a tedious job...trying to make out some of his writing...but I'm going to do that for him one day. A few years ago, I took some of his "songs" and typed them all out for him on nice paper, and put them in a binder thing so they would stay all nice. I thought he would be so proud, and he was...for about 5 minutes! The next time I saw that binder, he had taken a RED INK PEN and gone all over what he had already written...making "corrections" and "additions" and writing things like "chorus x2" and things like that. And that "nice paper" looked like it had been crumpled up under his bed.

He doesn't talk about his stories a lot...mainly because when he does, it's all so outrageous and it all makes no sense...it's really hard to follow. But when he finds someone who is genuinely interested, he gets very excited and animated. He gets this far-away look in his eyes, and he is totally immersed into his story. The other night, on the way back from Clark's football game, he literally talked about it for 35 minutes to Clark's friend in the backseat...and yesterday, on our drive to Little Rock, he talked and talked about some parts of his story. I had heard most of it the night before in the car, so I would interject things like, "I think it might rain tomorrow," trying to get him off that subject (I know...I'm a terrible mom). He would say, "I'll check my weather app," and pull out his phone. Then, he said, "no. no rain til Saturday," and went right back to where he was in his story without missing a beat!

I am very thankful for the abilities God has given Joshua. I am thankful for the professionals and teachers who have worked hard with him, and with us, to get Joshua to this place.

"Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, LORD." Psalm 139:4

On Being Love-birds...

The other day, Joshua's group went on an outing...it was the day they went to the Heifer International Headquarters in downtown LR. They stayed outside a lot, and it was HOT that day.

And I should tell you that there are 3 sets of "couples" in Joshua's group.

On our way home in the car, Joshua said, "wellllll, there were 2 couples being love-birds today." I said, "TWO couples?" He said, "yes, Crystal and Brandon...and Michael and Melissa."

I said, "what about Joshua and Jenni?"

He said, "I tried earlier in the day, but it was so hot. Sometimes it's just too hot to be love-birds."

Is it bad that I totally get that?

"Above all, put on love..." Colossians 3:14