Thursday, August 30, 2018

Kroger, The Young Me, and The Missed Opportunity

I missed an opportunity today.

I was in Kroger, and another lady and I were trying to turn our buggies down the same aisle at the same time. I motioned for her to go first, and she said, "no, really..." and she took a deep breath, "I don't even know."

And right then, I saw the young me.

The young me at the grocery, with 4 kids, and a mile-long list.

The kids would be talking non-stop, and I could not even hear myself think. I would look at my kids...and at my list...and say under my breath, "I don't even know..."

Like, I don't usually have trouble striking up a conversation with somebody at the grocery.

Oh, it's definitely not my nature. But about 20 years ago, this month, I was stopped in my tracks by the reality of how short life is...so I am continually in the process of training myself to speak up.

I looked at this lady as she passed by: a child walking by her side, one sitting in the buggy, and an infant in an infant car seat.

And then she was gone...and I missed it.

I missed telling her that I understand, that she had a beautiful family, that it wouldn't always be so hard.

I missed asking if she needed any help.

I also missed RESISTING THE URGE to tell her that the years are short, but the days are long...or telling her that, one day, she'll look back on these days and smile.

Me missing making comments like that was probably a blessing, because no Mom wants to hear some old lady telling her things like that, when she's in the middle of the grocery store with a bunch of kids, AMIRIGHT?

We have opportunities to show kindness every day...if we will just open our eyes to see what's going on around us, and if we'll just take the time to do it.

"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Galatians 6:9

Monday, August 27, 2018

A Scary Friday Night: Salt Bowl 2018

We moved to Bryant, Arkansas in 2007...Jim was transferred with his job. Because Logan was starting high school, and we knew this would likely be a harder transition for him than for Clark, Jim told Logan he could choose which school he wanted to attend: Benton, Bryant, Bauxite, Central...even Arkansas Baptist (now Baptist Prep). 

Logan chose Bryant...I think because of their football program, but I could be wrong. 

We had never heard of the Salt Bowl, but we were so excited to see what it was all about. All we knew was that it was a rival game, and that the game...and the events leading up to it...was about bringing the community together. 

Not all the football boys got to go with the team on the bus, and very few sophomores got to go. Logan was a sophomore, AND a new kid...he certainly didn’t expect that he would go...but somehow he made the list! 

During Salt Bowl week, Coach took the boys to War Memorial Stadium for a “walk-through.” 

Logan says he can remember walking through the tunnel and onto the field. He told me how he looked up in the stands, and tried to imagine what it would be like on game night, when it was filled with people cheering. 

In Searcy (where we used to live), football was big...but in Bryant, it was even bigger. Logan couldn’t believe he was going to be playing under the lights on that field! 

In the week leading up to the game, there were pep rallies and team dinners and media opportunities...all gearing up for this one big game. 

And everyone in town was going. I mean, of course they were. Little kids, big kids, grandparents, business leaders, church groups...it was so fun, y’all. My friends, Stacy and Tori, came that first year...and it was so great to have familiar faces sitting beside me. 

Fast forward 11 years to last night. Jim, Joshua, and I talked about going to the game, and bringing Rhodie...but since it was so hot, we ended up keeping him at home. 

Hearing the reports of the events of last night make me angry, frustrated, and sick to my stomach...because even if the reports of gunfire weren’t real (and I had friends there who said it was, and others who said it wasn’t)...the FEAR was real. 

And watching families jump up from their seats, and run...was real. 

And seeing mommas turn around and scan seas of panicked faces, looking for their children...that was real. 

What really got me was watching those football boys, and the cheerleaders, sprinting off the field to the exits...because I remembered my own football boy and his cheerleader, and the years they participated in the Salt Bowl. I know they would’ve been the ones running TO each other...they always and forever run to each other...because nothing on earth would make him leave without her. 

For the ones saying the panic was unjustified...you do you, and stay calm and help. 

Everyone else was just doing the best they could in a scary and uncertain situation...and sometimes that is not well thought out and rational. 

We might all be a little jumpy...with good reason. 

This is the world we live in now, where every “safe” place...churches, shopping malls, marathons, ball fields, concerts...is a potential battleground. 

Yall, I’m so frustrated. 

WHY CAN’T WE DO FUN THINGS ANYMORE? 

Ugh. 

I’m so very thankful for both teams of athletic trainers that were providing aid. I’m thankful to the police, and other first responders, who were there helping. I’m thankful for the parents and friends who gathered children who weren’t their own, and calmed them down, and kept them safe, and contacted their parents. 

I hope and pray that the ones responsible for causing this ruckus are punished, because they ruined this night for everyone. 

It takes so much time, money, and energy to put this thing on, and I’m sad for everyone who worked so hard to prepare for and invest in this event. To have it end like that is disappointing and discouraging. 

But Bryant and Benton are both great communities. I’m certain they will come together to make changes and implement strategies to ensure that next year’s Salt Bowl is even better!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." 2 Timothy 1:7

Sunday, August 19, 2018

We Are Bound For the City of Joy!

At the end of choir practice last night, we spent some time sharing prayer requests. My heart was heavy, hearing some of the challenges and trials people are going through. 
I’m a pretty upbeat person, most days. Humor has helped me navigate many of the ups and downs of life, and I try to see life through that lens when I can. 
But some things are just serious. 
And hard. 
Because, do you know what’s not funny? Cancer. Abuse. The death of a spouse or a child (or a mom or a dad or a friend)...loss of a job, chronic illness, being a caregiver, a wayward child, watching someone suffer, drug abuse, mental illness, and so much more.
Christians are not immune from trials, but how is it different for us? Or how should it be different for us? How do we reconcile suffering...with the goodness of God? 
JESUS, that’s how. 
He doesn’t always change our circumstances, but, if we let Him, He will change our hearts, give us a new perspective, and give us the strength we need to meet each day. 
When my Dad was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s, several years ago, he told me, “God has been good to me for my whole life, and I don’t believe He will stop now. But I will praise Him in the hard times, as well as in the good times, because He has blessed me far more than I deserve.” 
Oh, to have an attitude like that! 
The song we are singing in church this Sunday is called “City of Joy.” 
Listening to friends share the deep needs of their families and friends, I was thinking how perfect it was that we had just sung these words: 
“Oh I’ve heard about a day,when that trumpet sounds: the sky will crack wide open, and our feet come off the ground. And I’ve heard that we will see Him, as all the saints bow down. We are bound for, we are bound for the City of Joy! Oh what a day that is gonna be, when our Savior we shall see....and the curse of sin and suffering is finally destroyed. We are bound for the City of Joy!” 
"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." Hebrews 13:14

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Climbing, Carrying, Weight-Lifting, and Camping

I shared this picture on my Facebook, and it.is.everything.

Everything I want for Joshua and his friends: inclusion, acceptance, compassion...and everything I want all of us to strive for: creativity, boldness, and a willingness to think outside the box.

And not just THINK outside the box...but to actually look at a problem, determine a solution, and ACT outside the box.

Inclusion is what Joshua's Therapeutic Recreation program is all about. But, ya know, there's the "hey, come sit with me at lunch," kind of inclusion...and there's the "hey, I will strap you on my back and carry you up the climbing wall" kind of inclusion.

Now, to be clear, the person carrying this girl is an employee of the climbing center. But I'm certain this isn't his first rodeo. After all, they have the equipment to do this. We love our friends at our climbing center.

Y'ALL..how would this be if we all thought like this?

If we all saw someone who was left out of a group or activity or experience, and figured out a way they could participate?

I just watched a documentary about 3 guys who carried their best friend on their backs on a trip to Europe. Hiking, walking, riding...each of them taking turns carrying their friend, using a specially made back-pack. For THREE WEEKS. All because they knew that most of the things they wanted to do, and the places they wanted to go, were not accessible by wheelchair.

Look at the picture I posted again. See the wheelchair at the bottom? That's where this girl sits most of the day, every day. Can you even imagine the elation of being able to experience something like the climbing wall? Of being lifted out of that chair, and strapped to the back of someone stronger? How freeing would that be? And when the climber asked her, "how do you want to come down...fast or slow?" She said, "FAST!"

One person, y'all.

One person looked at an obstacle, and figured out a way...and carried a child on their back up a climbing wall.

I'm so thankful for the staff at Joshua's Therapeutic Recreation group, because this type of stuff happens on the daily. They see an obstacle as a challenge...as a problem that just hasn't found its solution yet. And then they work together to figure out a way for everyone to participate...because why wouldn't they? And why can't they?

Because there's the literal "wall climbing..." like in this picture, and there's the figurative walls they climb every day: the misconceptions they shatter, the opinions they change, the barriers they break down.

I'm so thankful for the friends who told us about this awesome program...and for the amazing staff.

The past two years, at Joshua's Powerlifting Competition for Special O, there is an athlete who is unable to move from the waist down. I don't know who decided that Powerlifting would be the event for her, but she does it. She can't do the dead-lift part, but she does the bench-press.

This is how it goes: she wheels herself up to the bench-press. Two men take her out of her chair, and strap her legs to the bench. She follows the commands to lift and rack...and the two men come back, unstrap her legs, pick her up, and strap her back in her wheelchair.

Y'all. I can't even tell you how moving this was to watch. In a room that is usually filled with noise...you could've heard a pin drop as the men took her from her chair, and got her settled. When she made her lift, the crowd erupted in cheers. And as we were all wiping our faces, and trying to regain our composures, one lone voice, heard from one of the other athletes, after everything settled down: "EASY PEASY."

And we all died laughing.

But there's this...one person. Or, in her case, two people...saw an obstacle...a big one...and they figured out a way for this athlete to compete. 

When our youngest 3 kids were little, they started going to Kanakuk Kamps. It's a Christian sports kamp, located in the Branson, Missouri area. This kamp has constant and scheduled activities, great meals...and a purposeful focus on the spiritual life of every kamper. Holly was our first one to go, the summer before she turned 10. Logan started going the summer before HE turned 10. Clark started going when he was 7.

WHEN HE WAS 7.

Now, in a normal situation, I would not have sent my 7 year old to Kanakuk. I know people do it all the time...but that's not me.

But Clark was very familiar with the Kamp and Kamp life. Every year, when we picked them up, he couldn't wait to hear all the stories. He would sit attentively in the closing ceremonies and listen to the message...taking in all of the kamp surroundings. He would listen excitedly, as the kids would introduce their friends, or point to certain places at kamp..."that's where we eat...that's where we play basketball...we rode that trail through the woods." There are a lot of kamp cheers and kamp songs at Kanakuk...Clark learned them all. He could not WAIT for his turn to go.

When I signed up the other kids, Clark begged to get to go with them. The thing that pushed me to say "yes" this particular year, was the fact that this would be the only year that all 3 would have the opportunity to be there together...because Holly would be graduating. My reasoning for allowing Clark to go at age 7, was that the other two, Holly and Logan, would watch out for Clark during the week. In reality, they barely saw each other. #momfail

My point here is that Kanakuk is a place that would be hard for Joshua. He would not be able to keep up with the physical demands of most of the activities. His gross motor skills were not on the same level as his peers. And because he thinks differently than others, he would require extra eyes on him at all times. We love Kanakuk, but it is not a kamp that is accessible for all kids.

Enter: CAMP BARNABAS.

Some friends told us about this other camp in Missouri called Camp Barnabas. They said it was for kids/adults with special needs. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty protective, and overly cautious, when it comes to Joshua. I was a little skeptical of what this camp would be like...but I checked it out, and it looked legit. Plus, he would have two friends from home, who would be there at the same time, so at least he would know somebody.

Camp Barnabas is a Christian sports camp for kids and adults with various challenges. At this camp, they play and sing and dance and walk and climb and swing and swim and canoe and do archery and shoot bb guns and eat and...did I already say "dance?" Because there is a lot of dancing at Camp Barnabas! For the week they are there, they are loved and VALUED, and they are taught they are WORTHY in the eyes of a loving God. And it is the PERFECT place for Joshua and his friends.

Camp Barnabas came about because of a little girl named Lauren, who attended Kanakuk for several summers. Her last summer there, she spent a lot of time in the nurse's office...complaining of pain in her leg. When her parents came to pick her up at the end of the term, nurse Cindy told them they might want to have Lauren's leg pain checked out by a doctor.

Unfortunately, Lauren, ended up being diagnosed with cancer. She had her leg amputated, lost her hair, and endured months of chemo. Still, she wanted to go back to Kamp that next summer, and she did...but that's where she realized how much things had changed for her. She looked different, she felt different, and, even tho her friends were empathetic to her situation, she couldn't keep up with her group. Mrs. Cindy was the nurse again, and asked Lauren what her ideal kamp experience would be like. Lauren described a place where different was normal; a place where someone missing an arm or a leg or all of their hair...wouldn't get a second glance; a place where everyone was on crutches or in wheelchairs; a place where no one would feel isolated.

And that's how Camp Barnabas came to be...because of a child's wish...and because of a nurse who was determined to make it happen for Lauren, and for others.

One person, y'all.

One person took a dream...an idea...and ran with it. And got others on board. And changed the perception of disability.

One person looked at an obstacle, and figured out a way.

Over and over again.

In my own life, there have been many times when someone has (figuratively) carried me through a tough situation. Times when I was too weak or too spent or too broken, and they stepped in...walked right into the fire...strapped me on their backs, and carried me through.

What about you? Can you think of times like that...when someone walked with you through a trial? Have you ever done that for someone else?

Because there's the "I'll pray for you" type of person...and we all need prayer, no doubt. And there's the person who regularly encourages in small, but much appreciated ways. And then there's the "I'm coming over...tell me how I can help you right now," type of person.

We aren't meant to go through life alone. We can't. We all need someone to give us a hand-up, a pat on the back...or throw us a life-line. Our Special O athletes, who have special needs, want to compete like everyone else...but they need help. They need us to help make a way for them.

We all have special needs, y'all. We want to live and grow and love and serve and learn but we need help. We need someone to make a way for us.

Someone did. Jesus did.

Jesus is the help we need. He made the way.

"Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Friday, July 20, 2018

Clark's Trip to Israel

At the beginning of the summer, as soon as the Spring semester ended, our youngest son, Clark, went on a 14 day trip to the Holy Land, as part of his college degree.

He left us an itinerary, and a book with a little bit of history about the things they were going to see and study. I did my best to read and follow along each day. 

This quote, in one of his books, really stood out to me on the first day: “This land that cradled our Christian faith, where Christ was born, where Constantine established the great Byzantine Empire, that, for all practical purposes, was officially “Christian” until the 7th century...this land became Muslim in one generation, and has been the undisputed domain of Islam for thirteen centuries since.” 

IN ONE GENERATION, y’all. 

Why? 

Continuing, “The simplest explanation is that the Christian church itself had become weakened and paganized...where people had begun to worship images, relics, and saints as part of the Christian faith and practice.” 

Oh my goodness. 

What a responsibility we have to share our faith with others, and to diligently teach it’s principles to our children...because other teachings and religions are racing us to the hearts of our families and friends. 

And, in many cases, they are winning. 

The Christian faith is not built on any man or woman, dead or alive, but on the PERSON of Jesus Christ...that He came to earth, lived a sinless life, died on a cross for your sins and mine...and rose again on the 3rd day. 

However great a pastor is, a Bible study teacher, college professor, denominational leader, or any of the well-known authors and speakers...don’t get your theology from their words alone. BE CERTAIN they line up with Scripture. 

A couple of months ago, I stayed home from church with my baby grandson, and I watched an on-line church service from a different church. The pastor was not as “polished,” as many might prefer...and the words from his sermon didn’t leave me feeling “good” about where I am in my Christian life...just a plain ol’ pastor speaking plain ol’ truth from the Bible. 

I think sometimes we let the emotions of our times blind us from the fact that there is no good in us; that we are all sinners in need of a Savior. 

And, I think sometimes, we just want to hear someone tell us it’s all gonna be okay, so we sit there and let them...and then we bask in that and talk about how great those words were...because the truth that things are never gonna be okay this side of Heaven seems too hard to bear. 

But no flowery words from any podium, however beautiful or poignant or timely, on their own have the power to convict or save. 

Oh, how we all want to hear a message of peace and love...but peace and love are found in Jesus ALONE, and in the words He left us in the Bible.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33