I opened the box and it hit me immediately...and I knew. And part of me thought, "just put the lid back on and walk away...you're not ready." But the other part of me wanted to see...what was this that was all packed away?
I was going thru some boxes in our garage. We've been in this house 7 1/2 months, and the boxes are still everywhere. Ugh. Still can't get any of the cars in there. I know that if I would just tackle a box a day...I'd be done by now, but other things get in the way each day...life...and so here we are.
So, the familiar scent hit me the second I opened the box. I knew it had to contain items from my Mom or my Grandmother. I wasn't sure which one at first. The things that we packed up of my Mom's have a certain smell...a mixture of her perfume, make-up, hair-spray, powder...I don't know. Her house smelled like her, and I guess when we boxed up her things, we boxed up the smell as well. Same thing with my Grandma. I have some of her furniture, and even now, I can open up a drawer and instantly feel her presence...because it smells like I remember her.
Weird, I know.
Or maybe you can relate.
This particular box contained items from my Grandmother's house...several photo albums...wedding pictures of my parents, and some of my Mom growing up. There was an album of when my Grandma Ellen and her sister, Janie, went on a trip to see family. They had to be in their 80's if they were a day...and they were acting goofy and posing in funny ways for the pictures. Maybe that's where I get my sense of humor!
And there were some pictures that my siblings and I had sent her over the years...of our kids and our lives. Grandma lived halfway across the country from us, and person-to-person visits were few-and-far-between. She had put the pictures in an album. I imagine she looked at it often. I wondered about the last time she touched those pages. The last picture in it was of Clark at 8 weeks old. That would've been in 1996. My Mom died in 1998, and I doubt that my Grandmother looked at old pictures from that point until her death in 2004. It would've been to painful for her.
I flipped through the pages and breathed it all in. My throat tightened up and I felt tears coming to my eyes. I had to close the box. I wasn't ready. As much as I loved seeing all the pictures, I am still not ready to process all of the emotion from my Mom's death...and seeing photos of her as a child, teenager, young wife...it's still too much.
I just really miss her. We didn't have the relationship that my daughter, Holly, and I have...but, for what it was, it was good and I loved her very much. And I miss her when I look at the pictures from the past...but mostly I miss her being here with me and my kids. And I already miss future things that she won't be around for...milestones and special events. She's already missed the birth of some of her grandchildren, and she's missed two weddings so far...and there will be another one she'll miss this summer (well, I guess SHE'S not really missing it...we're missing HER at these events). I miss not having her in the present...and I miss not having her for the future. But, because of Christ, I know I will see her again one day!
I am so thankful for the legacy of my great-grandparents...who took their 5 children to church, and taught them about the Lord...so that my Grandmother would come to know Christ at an early age...so that when she had kids of her own, she would teach them about God and take them to church...and because of that, her daughter, my Mother, would come to know Christ at an early age. And when my Mom married, her life would greatly influence her husband's life, and he, my Dad, would give his heart to the Lord, and would be a faithful servant for going on 50 years. My parents raised 4 children in a Christian home. Now the 4 of us have children of our own, and we do the best we can to seek God in all things. Like our parents, and the ones who came before us, we are not perfect...we mess up and get off track...but, by God's grace, we can start again. We have that chance because somebody way back when told my great-grandparents about Jesus...and they were faithful to carry the torch...and pass it down to the next generation.
Who told you?
I cannot imagine my life without Christ...I truly can't. I can't imagine not having a relationship with the Lord to lift me up and walk with me in times of struggle. And even the happy times, as good as they are, they remind me that this world is not my home...and that even BETTER awaits me one day in Heaven. For me to have strength in the hard times and confidence in the future, I had to come to the place where I would meet Jesus. And that started because someone told me about Him.
Who told you?
When I can go through the box again, I want to take out several pictures and have them framed. My Mom's legacy...and that of my Grandmother's...is not in pictures, but in the lives they lived during their time on earth. And even tho they are gone from this life, their influence remains in the lives they helped reach for God...and it will hopefully be felt for generations to come.
Maybe you don't have this kind of legacy...and that's okay. You can be the first! It's gotta start somewhere, right?
"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, so that you won't grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)
...finding joy in the UPside of DOWN...
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Affirming Words
Spent time today with some "old" friends. Not that we want to think of ourselves are old! But time marches on, through good and bad.
A group of us became friends over 25 years ago, when we were all in the same SS class at church. Just starting out in marriage...in life...starting our families. It was a wonderful time for Jim and I. We had just moved to Little Rock for Jim's job. We didn't know one soul. But in a year's time, we managed to make friends and forge bonds that would last a lifetime. Or, we hope they will.
I know they will.
It was in this class that we also learned how to govern our lives and build our families...how to be husbands and wives, dads and moms; we learned about love, commitment...and loss; we learned the importance of church and community, and that Christianity was not a religion, but a relationship. We learned about the importance of service and giving, and we learned how to comfort others.
And we had fun. Lots and lots of fun.
We were also taught that God was sovereign in all things, and that His plan for our lives would greatly exceed anything we could come up with on our own; that God worked in the trials and difficulties in our lives just as much as He did in the good times; that He loved us all the more when we needed it all the more. For many of us, this lesson was learned only after much struggle and heartache.
It was a precious, precious time...and even then, I felt like I was in the midst of a great work of God.
It was into this band of gypsies that Joshua was born. He was born to Jim and I, but he was also born into the hearts and lives of many in our class. His birth rocked our world...in many ways. For some of us, it shook our faith to its core; for others, it was a time that defined and strengthened us. And it brought all of us closer than ever before. We found out that we were stronger when we all stood together...and when we all knelt together. And what the enemy might have used to tear us down and break us apart...ended up being one of our greatest joys.
But the years have passed, and we moved away. Others just moved on. The kids all are grown, or nearly grown, in most cases. Many are married and have children of their own. It's like deja-vu watching them make their way, and we pray that they will find a church and a group that will mean as much to them as ours has meant to us. That time, when we were all together and starting out...is a touch-stone for me as far as my Christian walk is concerned. The days when I look back and remember remind me of how blessed I am...and how very overwhelmed I am by the goodness and the greatness of God.
Life has not always been easy, for any of us. Challenges, medical or financial issues, adoptions, love and loss, life and death, aging parents, rebellious kids. We go on...living by God's help in an attempt to glorify Him in all that we do. But sometimes, we just get...weary.
Have you ever been there?
And then there are times like today...a celebration to honor a young groom, as he starts his own life and family. We were together...not all of us, but most. We picked up where we left off since the last time.
Like we always do.
We talked. We laughed. We prayed. We got serious. We cried.
We were able to give words of affirmation to one who is struggling...a little beaten down by the circumstances in her life. I walked away feeling so blessed and thankful for this friend...and kind of burdened, too...but not in a bad way. I just need to make an effort to encourage her more, and to lift her up in prayer more often.
And then before I left, one friend and I talked...away from the group. She spoke words of encouragement to me. She's a kindred spirit...a sister in Christ...and in parenting a child with special needs. It's a life that you just can't explain to someone else, and to have a friend who just "gets" it is such a blessing. Because some days are just a struggle...and when those days roll into weeks and months and years...you can find yourself feeling wiped out, frustrated and exhausted. This friend encouraged me by reminding me of where we came...of those days all those years ago...when we were scared and unsure; and how God used our friends to hold us up when we were at the ends of our ropes. Her words came like a waterfall over me. I came away feeling refreshed and renewed...and lightened. Isn't it amazing that speaking a few words can mean so much?
We all need encouragement. Can I get an "Amen?"
All I needed to know was taught to me in that young adult SS class all those years ago: Biblical principles and truths that guided me, protected me, encouraged me. Some of them, I didn't understand at the time, and I hid them in my heart for later. All of them were the foundation on which my faith was built.
God never fails. His love endures forever. And He is faithful and true.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever." (1 Chronicles 16:34)
A group of us became friends over 25 years ago, when we were all in the same SS class at church. Just starting out in marriage...in life...starting our families. It was a wonderful time for Jim and I. We had just moved to Little Rock for Jim's job. We didn't know one soul. But in a year's time, we managed to make friends and forge bonds that would last a lifetime. Or, we hope they will.
I know they will.
It was in this class that we also learned how to govern our lives and build our families...how to be husbands and wives, dads and moms; we learned about love, commitment...and loss; we learned the importance of church and community, and that Christianity was not a religion, but a relationship. We learned about the importance of service and giving, and we learned how to comfort others.
And we had fun. Lots and lots of fun.
We were also taught that God was sovereign in all things, and that His plan for our lives would greatly exceed anything we could come up with on our own; that God worked in the trials and difficulties in our lives just as much as He did in the good times; that He loved us all the more when we needed it all the more. For many of us, this lesson was learned only after much struggle and heartache.
It was a precious, precious time...and even then, I felt like I was in the midst of a great work of God.
It was into this band of gypsies that Joshua was born. He was born to Jim and I, but he was also born into the hearts and lives of many in our class. His birth rocked our world...in many ways. For some of us, it shook our faith to its core; for others, it was a time that defined and strengthened us. And it brought all of us closer than ever before. We found out that we were stronger when we all stood together...and when we all knelt together. And what the enemy might have used to tear us down and break us apart...ended up being one of our greatest joys.
But the years have passed, and we moved away. Others just moved on. The kids all are grown, or nearly grown, in most cases. Many are married and have children of their own. It's like deja-vu watching them make their way, and we pray that they will find a church and a group that will mean as much to them as ours has meant to us. That time, when we were all together and starting out...is a touch-stone for me as far as my Christian walk is concerned. The days when I look back and remember remind me of how blessed I am...and how very overwhelmed I am by the goodness and the greatness of God.
Life has not always been easy, for any of us. Challenges, medical or financial issues, adoptions, love and loss, life and death, aging parents, rebellious kids. We go on...living by God's help in an attempt to glorify Him in all that we do. But sometimes, we just get...weary.
Have you ever been there?
And then there are times like today...a celebration to honor a young groom, as he starts his own life and family. We were together...not all of us, but most. We picked up where we left off since the last time.
Like we always do.
We talked. We laughed. We prayed. We got serious. We cried.
We were able to give words of affirmation to one who is struggling...a little beaten down by the circumstances in her life. I walked away feeling so blessed and thankful for this friend...and kind of burdened, too...but not in a bad way. I just need to make an effort to encourage her more, and to lift her up in prayer more often.
And then before I left, one friend and I talked...away from the group. She spoke words of encouragement to me. She's a kindred spirit...a sister in Christ...and in parenting a child with special needs. It's a life that you just can't explain to someone else, and to have a friend who just "gets" it is such a blessing. Because some days are just a struggle...and when those days roll into weeks and months and years...you can find yourself feeling wiped out, frustrated and exhausted. This friend encouraged me by reminding me of where we came...of those days all those years ago...when we were scared and unsure; and how God used our friends to hold us up when we were at the ends of our ropes. Her words came like a waterfall over me. I came away feeling refreshed and renewed...and lightened. Isn't it amazing that speaking a few words can mean so much?
We all need encouragement. Can I get an "Amen?"
All I needed to know was taught to me in that young adult SS class all those years ago: Biblical principles and truths that guided me, protected me, encouraged me. Some of them, I didn't understand at the time, and I hid them in my heart for later. All of them were the foundation on which my faith was built.
God never fails. His love endures forever. And He is faithful and true.
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever." (1 Chronicles 16:34)
Friday, April 5, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
We Call Him Fred
Joshua.
I don't know when it started, but at some point in his early days, he became known as "Fred" to us.
And then, one day when I was out, I saw a little girl with Down Syndrome. I came home and was describing her to Jim, and I said, "she was really cute...like a girl Fred." And so that's how, within our family, people with Down Syndrome or other challenges began to be described as "girl Freds" or boy Freds." When Joshua is with his Therapeutic Recreation group, I call it his GOFs..."Group of Freds." NOT IN A DEROGATORY WAY at all...just that saying, "group of intellectually/physically challenged individuals" sounds so awkward.
We only talk like this when we are with family...or really close friends...because they all know what we mean and how we mean it. I am totally opposed to using the "R" word, or any word that paints these wonderful children and adults in unflattering ways. And calling Joshua "Fred" makes me happy. It reminds me to look at the happy and fun sides of life with him.
When we call him to come downstairs, like for dinner, we usually yell up, "FREDDDDDD?" And he will respond, "ma'UHMMM" and comes right down. When he does something silly, or says something funny, we say, "oh Fred, oh Fred, oh Fred." When he's being cute, Holly will say, "ohhh...Freddy." His girlfriend, Jenni, calls him "Josh." And when she's being silly, she will call him "my Freddy Weddy Teddy." Isn't that sweet?
Most people call him Joshua. I do. Most of the time. Other people call him "Josh." I'm fine with that, and so is he. But, he's also fine with his nickname of Fred. Random people don't typically call him that, and will look at us funny when we do! But there have been a couple of instances...it's rare...when Joshua will actually tell someone that they can call him Fred.
When he was little, I called him "Joshua Giraffe." No clue why. He's definitely not tall like a giraffe, and he doesn't have a long neck. I even made up a little jingle about "Joshua Giraffe" at some point. I think my Mom started it all when she called Holly, "Holly BEAR"...so, of course, I had to make up animal names for everyone. We all have them. There's Logan Lamb...and Clark Koala. So, naturally, Jim is Daddy Duck, and I'm Mommy Moose. Lame, I know. Now you know wayyyy too much about our family.
Awk-WARD!
Anyway...when we first talked about names, early in my pregnancy, we both loved the name Joshua. Jim's only concern was that it wouldn't sound "professional" enough, like for someone in the business world. But, of course, it does...and it is..and I went the majority of my pregnancy calling my baby bump, "Baby Joshua." And when he was born, of course, no name could've fit him better: Joshua: Jehovah Saves.
Peace to my soul...
"Now the word of the LORD came to me saying, 'before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you...'" (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
"A good name is to be more desired than great riches..." (Proverbs 22:1a)
I don't know when it started, but at some point in his early days, he became known as "Fred" to us.
And then, one day when I was out, I saw a little girl with Down Syndrome. I came home and was describing her to Jim, and I said, "she was really cute...like a girl Fred." And so that's how, within our family, people with Down Syndrome or other challenges began to be described as "girl Freds" or boy Freds." When Joshua is with his Therapeutic Recreation group, I call it his GOFs..."Group of Freds." NOT IN A DEROGATORY WAY at all...just that saying, "group of intellectually/physically challenged individuals" sounds so awkward.
We only talk like this when we are with family...or really close friends...because they all know what we mean and how we mean it. I am totally opposed to using the "R" word, or any word that paints these wonderful children and adults in unflattering ways. And calling Joshua "Fred" makes me happy. It reminds me to look at the happy and fun sides of life with him.
When we call him to come downstairs, like for dinner, we usually yell up, "FREDDDDDD?" And he will respond, "ma'UHMMM" and comes right down. When he does something silly, or says something funny, we say, "oh Fred, oh Fred, oh Fred." When he's being cute, Holly will say, "ohhh...Freddy." His girlfriend, Jenni, calls him "Josh." And when she's being silly, she will call him "my Freddy Weddy Teddy." Isn't that sweet?
Most people call him Joshua. I do. Most of the time. Other people call him "Josh." I'm fine with that, and so is he. But, he's also fine with his nickname of Fred. Random people don't typically call him that, and will look at us funny when we do! But there have been a couple of instances...it's rare...when Joshua will actually tell someone that they can call him Fred.
When he was little, I called him "Joshua Giraffe." No clue why. He's definitely not tall like a giraffe, and he doesn't have a long neck. I even made up a little jingle about "Joshua Giraffe" at some point. I think my Mom started it all when she called Holly, "Holly BEAR"...so, of course, I had to make up animal names for everyone. We all have them. There's Logan Lamb...and Clark Koala. So, naturally, Jim is Daddy Duck, and I'm Mommy Moose. Lame, I know. Now you know wayyyy too much about our family.
Awk-WARD!
Anyway...when we first talked about names, early in my pregnancy, we both loved the name Joshua. Jim's only concern was that it wouldn't sound "professional" enough, like for someone in the business world. But, of course, it does...and it is..and I went the majority of my pregnancy calling my baby bump, "Baby Joshua." And when he was born, of course, no name could've fit him better: Joshua: Jehovah Saves.
Peace to my soul...
"Now the word of the LORD came to me saying, 'before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you...'" (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
"A good name is to be more desired than great riches..." (Proverbs 22:1a)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Pinterest and the Pious...(and I'm talkin' to ME)
I'm not creative. AT. ALL.
There, I admitted it. Although, since this blog is basically for my children, it will come as no surprise to them. Oh, there are some things in which I excel: Posters. Yes, posters and...well, okay...mainly posters. When my kids have had to make posters for reports at school, or signs if they were running for a school/club office...I.AM.YOUR.GIRL.
And I love it.
Not gonna lie...I'm pretty good at it, too.
Clearly, writing letters on a poster board with magic markers qualifies as "creative" in my mind. Don't take that away from me.
That's where my creative abilities end. I stink at everything else: house organizing, decorating, sewing, planning parties, being crafty...even choosing clothes and putting outfits together. Not good at any of it.
But, like with sports, I like to think that I make up for what I don't know...with enthusiasm.
My two sisters, Leanne and Robin? And my daughter, Holly? They are good at it all! I must've been watching a football game when God handed out the creativity genes. Or, maybe He figured that, with 3 boys, I wouldn't need to know how to arrange my furniture...as much as I would need to know how to use the super-glue to repair all the furniture the boys would scratch, chip and break during their lives! And, honestly, when it came to throwing parties for boys, my experience was that they weren't really concerned with the leaves and branches I spray-painted for decorations (in an effort to keep things "organic" and "not girlie). They basically wanted to know, "where's the food?" THANK GOODNESS...because I can cook for boys.
So, somehow I've been able to limp thru life up to this point.
Enter: Pinterest.
Now, when Leanne and Holly, invited me to look at their Pinterest "boards," I had no clue what they were talking about. I'm technologically up-to-date like that. They talked about "pinning" things to their boards. I didn't get it. "Pin" it? For WHAT? Oh, I can just "like" it? Okay...but why do I have to click on it and let people know that I "liked" their pin? Can't I just say, "oh, that's cute?"
No. No, you canNOT.
So, as with most things new and technical, Holly set up my Pinterest account for me, and helped me with it until I got the hang of it all by myself.
And then, hellooooo time-sucker!
I wasn't on Pinterest a week before I got a message from a sweet and well-intentioned friend, expressing her concerns about how she thought it (Pinterest) was negatively affecting our younger generation of women. Mainly, she was concerned that it, and me talking on social media about how FUN it was, might be making them discontent as young women and wives; that when they saw the different sites, they would wish for what the other person had...the perfect wedding, the coolest fashion finds, their "dream home"...and be dissatisfied with what they had at home. And then what to do with the feelings of disgust (mixed with awe and envy) for those women who seem to LIVE to post hundreds of pictures of the perfect bridal shower that they threw for their college roommate's brother's fiance. Or the elaborate birthday party some mom threw for her 3 year old twins (Color-coordinated paper straws...are you kidding me? Because the ones they don't end up using as swords, trying to poke some kid's eye out, will be soggy in 2 minutes).
Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
And, as fast as the pictures were "pinned," emails and blog posts came faster...challenging the priorities--and even the spiritual depth--of the creative women who somehow manage to live well, and be good moms and employees and friends...and still pull off really cool parties for their families and friends. God bless 'em, is what I say.
My mind doesn't think creatively. My furniture stays in the same exact place unless we move...and fashion? I would wear warm-ups every.single.day. if I could. I speak the truth, young Padawan. As far as parties go...in my early days as a mom, my kids' birthday parties were basically some sort of cake or cupcakes...and bright, red Hawaiian Punch. I know, right? Not that there's anything wrong with that. Kids don't care. Now, parents are throwing kid parties that have bounce-houses, pony rides, zoo animals and "spa" parties, and you know what?
WHO CARES?
Seriously. I wish we, as women, would stop fussing over what other women choose to do or not do. Breast vs bottle, working mom vs SAHM, family size, homeschooling vs public school, public school vs private school...on and on and on. I've been there. I'm ashamed to say that I fell into that trap at one point. I know the pressure is there to do more, or to do things differently. But if your friends know YOU and love YOU, and if you are doing what GOD is calling you to do, and not one thing more...isn't that what matters?
Still, when it came time to plan my daughter's wedding reception, not gonna lie...I thought, I've got this: cake, punch, nuts...and a dish of those little pastel mints. That's okay, right?
Oh, no ma'am.
At least I had the good sense to call in reinforcements: Leanne (Momma didn't raise no fool). She planned everything and pulled it all together...and it was beautiful: a beautiful end to a sweet ceremony, and a thank you to the precious family and friends who had gotten us to this point in our lives, and had come to share in our joy.
Just last month, Holly and I helped with a wedding shower at church for someone we didn't even know. We weren't trying to impress anyone...we just wanted it to be cute. Because, hello? Girls...wedding shower...cute? We saw some ideas on Pinterest and, because my mind doesn't think creatively on it's own, I was able to see what they did...and we replicated it, and everything turned out just like we wanted! And I was SO excited! Not in a "look what we did way," but in an "We can be crafty, too" way! I was proud...but it was because we saw an idea, and then attempted to re-create the parts of it we liked...and it actually turned out! It was SO FUN seeing it all come together!
You know that not everyone who dresses fashionably, decorates their home beautifully, or plans fun and creative parties is shallow, right? They aren't always "prideful" and may not be trying to show off for their friends. Some people are just wired that way. They just love to give...and love to plan. They thrive in situations where they can take a vision and bring it to reality. It's a gift, really. And, typically, they love doing it, and find JOY in making other people happy.
I have no problem pulling out plain, white napkins to use if we run out of the ones that "go" with all the decorations, but I have friends that that would really unnerve. They wouldn't think less of ME...it would just bother them that every detail wasn't in place. Perfectionists? Maybe. I prefer to think of them as diligent, caring, attentive and insightful. These same friends are loving wives and moms, Christ followers...humble, gentle, kind people who want to do their best in every project.
We need to be careful in painting people...women...with one broad brush. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to judge someone's heart by their Pinterest boards.
And I hope you won't, either.
"There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us." (I Corinthians 12:4-6)
There, I admitted it. Although, since this blog is basically for my children, it will come as no surprise to them. Oh, there are some things in which I excel: Posters. Yes, posters and...well, okay...mainly posters. When my kids have had to make posters for reports at school, or signs if they were running for a school/club office...I.AM.YOUR.GIRL.
And I love it.
Not gonna lie...I'm pretty good at it, too.
Clearly, writing letters on a poster board with magic markers qualifies as "creative" in my mind. Don't take that away from me.
That's where my creative abilities end. I stink at everything else: house organizing, decorating, sewing, planning parties, being crafty...even choosing clothes and putting outfits together. Not good at any of it.
But, like with sports, I like to think that I make up for what I don't know...with enthusiasm.
My two sisters, Leanne and Robin? And my daughter, Holly? They are good at it all! I must've been watching a football game when God handed out the creativity genes. Or, maybe He figured that, with 3 boys, I wouldn't need to know how to arrange my furniture...as much as I would need to know how to use the super-glue to repair all the furniture the boys would scratch, chip and break during their lives! And, honestly, when it came to throwing parties for boys, my experience was that they weren't really concerned with the leaves and branches I spray-painted for decorations (in an effort to keep things "organic" and "not girlie). They basically wanted to know, "where's the food?" THANK GOODNESS...because I can cook for boys.
So, somehow I've been able to limp thru life up to this point.
Enter: Pinterest.
Now, when Leanne and Holly, invited me to look at their Pinterest "boards," I had no clue what they were talking about. I'm technologically up-to-date like that. They talked about "pinning" things to their boards. I didn't get it. "Pin" it? For WHAT? Oh, I can just "like" it? Okay...but why do I have to click on it and let people know that I "liked" their pin? Can't I just say, "oh, that's cute?"
No. No, you canNOT.
So, as with most things new and technical, Holly set up my Pinterest account for me, and helped me with it until I got the hang of it all by myself.
And then, hellooooo time-sucker!
I wasn't on Pinterest a week before I got a message from a sweet and well-intentioned friend, expressing her concerns about how she thought it (Pinterest) was negatively affecting our younger generation of women. Mainly, she was concerned that it, and me talking on social media about how FUN it was, might be making them discontent as young women and wives; that when they saw the different sites, they would wish for what the other person had...the perfect wedding, the coolest fashion finds, their "dream home"...and be dissatisfied with what they had at home. And then what to do with the feelings of disgust (mixed with awe and envy) for those women who seem to LIVE to post hundreds of pictures of the perfect bridal shower that they threw for their college roommate's brother's fiance. Or the elaborate birthday party some mom threw for her 3 year old twins (Color-coordinated paper straws...are you kidding me? Because the ones they don't end up using as swords, trying to poke some kid's eye out, will be soggy in 2 minutes).
Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
And, as fast as the pictures were "pinned," emails and blog posts came faster...challenging the priorities--and even the spiritual depth--of the creative women who somehow manage to live well, and be good moms and employees and friends...and still pull off really cool parties for their families and friends. God bless 'em, is what I say.
My mind doesn't think creatively. My furniture stays in the same exact place unless we move...and fashion? I would wear warm-ups every.single.day. if I could. I speak the truth, young Padawan. As far as parties go...in my early days as a mom, my kids' birthday parties were basically some sort of cake or cupcakes...and bright, red Hawaiian Punch. I know, right? Not that there's anything wrong with that. Kids don't care. Now, parents are throwing kid parties that have bounce-houses, pony rides, zoo animals and "spa" parties, and you know what?
WHO CARES?
Seriously. I wish we, as women, would stop fussing over what other women choose to do or not do. Breast vs bottle, working mom vs SAHM, family size, homeschooling vs public school, public school vs private school...on and on and on. I've been there. I'm ashamed to say that I fell into that trap at one point. I know the pressure is there to do more, or to do things differently. But if your friends know YOU and love YOU, and if you are doing what GOD is calling you to do, and not one thing more...isn't that what matters?
Still, when it came time to plan my daughter's wedding reception, not gonna lie...I thought, I've got this: cake, punch, nuts...and a dish of those little pastel mints. That's okay, right?
Oh, no ma'am.
At least I had the good sense to call in reinforcements: Leanne (Momma didn't raise no fool). She planned everything and pulled it all together...and it was beautiful: a beautiful end to a sweet ceremony, and a thank you to the precious family and friends who had gotten us to this point in our lives, and had come to share in our joy.
Just last month, Holly and I helped with a wedding shower at church for someone we didn't even know. We weren't trying to impress anyone...we just wanted it to be cute. Because, hello? Girls...wedding shower...cute? We saw some ideas on Pinterest and, because my mind doesn't think creatively on it's own, I was able to see what they did...and we replicated it, and everything turned out just like we wanted! And I was SO excited! Not in a "look what we did way," but in an "We can be crafty, too" way! I was proud...but it was because we saw an idea, and then attempted to re-create the parts of it we liked...and it actually turned out! It was SO FUN seeing it all come together!
You know that not everyone who dresses fashionably, decorates their home beautifully, or plans fun and creative parties is shallow, right? They aren't always "prideful" and may not be trying to show off for their friends. Some people are just wired that way. They just love to give...and love to plan. They thrive in situations where they can take a vision and bring it to reality. It's a gift, really. And, typically, they love doing it, and find JOY in making other people happy.
I have no problem pulling out plain, white napkins to use if we run out of the ones that "go" with all the decorations, but I have friends that that would really unnerve. They wouldn't think less of ME...it would just bother them that every detail wasn't in place. Perfectionists? Maybe. I prefer to think of them as diligent, caring, attentive and insightful. These same friends are loving wives and moms, Christ followers...humble, gentle, kind people who want to do their best in every project.
We need to be careful in painting people...women...with one broad brush. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to judge someone's heart by their Pinterest boards.
And I hope you won't, either.
"There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us." (I Corinthians 12:4-6)
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